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When did you feel comfortable?


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
April 24th, 2009, 06:00 AM
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I know I'm still very early (earlier than both of my losses). I had one beta increase that was great. I go for another one on Monday (I'll be 5 weeks) and if that goes well I'll have an u/s in my 6th week and hope to hear the HB. I would think that would help somewhat, but since my first loss was at 10.5 weeks, I have to think that baby had a HB at one point too (as opposed to the second I lost at 6.5 weeks that probably never did). So I don't think I'll feel good until I see the HB AND get past 11 weeks or so.

When did (or will) you feel safe?
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  #2  
April 24th, 2009, 07:33 AM
MountainMomma's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think I'll feel more safe when I hit the 6 week mark and again when we have a heartbeat. All of my losses were early...before the 6 week mark, so that is a huge hurdle that I can't wait to be over. I don't know that I will ever truly relax until I am holding the baby though, and then a whole new set of worries begins. lol
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  #3  
April 24th, 2009, 08:09 AM
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I will tell you that you NEVER are completely comfortable...however, each milestone and each good OB appt. or u/s makes it a little easier. I am 22 w now and although I am not worried about m/c...I worry about preterm labor and all the other things that can go wrong. Try to take it one day at a time rather than looking ahead to this week or that week and it will be a lot easier. I know it is easier said than done though!
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  #4  
April 24th, 2009, 08:49 AM
Jenn1320's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm hoping to relax a bit once I have my 10 1/2 wk. u/s. I learned the last time at my 11 wk. u/s that our baby stopped developing at 8 wks. That is my milestone to reach. Until then I won't feel safe.

Good luck and sticky dust to you!
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  #5  
April 24th, 2009, 09:19 AM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
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i'm thinking my worry about another m/c will go away once i make it out of the 1st tri...unfortunately then there's just new things to worry about! But i'll definitely feel like this pregnancy is *really* happening once i hit that 13 week mark...
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  #6  
April 24th, 2009, 09:36 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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To be very honest with you, I don't think I ever feel comfortable. It's all about milestones, first saw the h/b, hearing the h/b, make it to 12w, then know the sex of the baby, feeling him/her kick. It seems like there is always a set of worries, at the beginning you are worry about hearing the h/b everytime you go to the doctors, later is feeling movement. Take it a day at the time, enjoy each day. You said that this one feels different and your betas are coming back with great number, it seems like everything is gong great.
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  #7  
April 24th, 2009, 02:37 PM
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My loss was late, so I don't think I will ever feel comfortable. To be honest, I haven't stopped worrying about my 4 year old yet!
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  #8  
April 24th, 2009, 05:36 PM
IAMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I still don't feel 100% comfortable, I don't think I will be able to fully breathe a sigh of releif until I hear my baby crying and can hold it. BUT...for me the real anxiety of losing the pg started to very slowly fade after I reached my loss date (20 wks). I definately don't have the innocence of my first pg, and that saddens me sometimes (I wish I could just be blindly happy without the worry).

Just take one day at a time and treasure each milestone.
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  #9  
April 24th, 2009, 06:17 PM
Danielley08's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Comfortable?....NEVER!

Confident?...week by week...milestone by milestone...

And like a few of the other mommy's have stated...each trimester has its own worries...and then once the little one makes it here safe and sound its a whole nother worrisome world...

Just take it day by day...TODAY YOU ARE PREGNANT!!
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  #10  
April 24th, 2009, 06:43 PM
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Thanks for sharing everyone.

You're all absolutely right too...right now I'm trying to get over the fear of miscarriage, but I know there will be other things I'm afraid of after that!
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  #11  
April 24th, 2009, 07:20 PM
Vicki...'s Avatar Mommy to Caleb & Ethan
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For me I have relaxed a bit upon seeing the heartbeat, like Stephanie, my miscarriages were fairly early so making past 6 weeks and seeing the heartbeat did ease my mind a bit, and week by week I get a bit more confident, but will not feel completely comfortable till i am holding a healthy baby in my arms, then I will still be worried, as i still worry about my 3 year old, just a different set of worries.
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  #12  
April 25th, 2009, 10:36 AM
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I will feel better once i make it past 8 1/2 weeks with no bleeding, and pretty much once i make it outta the first trimester. I'm just praying time flies by and everything is smooth sailing in the first trimester. but i do worry a lot
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  #13  
April 25th, 2009, 12:16 PM
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I honestly did not feel safe until I was halfway done with my second trimester. Even after hearing the heart beat numerous times, I just felt that something could still go wrong. This type of thing will always be a fear for us though. We already been through a loss (and maybe a couple losses) and it will worry us until our babies arrive safely and we can hold them.
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  #14  
April 25th, 2009, 08:04 PM
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Honestly, I was never completely comfortable and haven't been 100% comfortable this time either. I think once you've experienced a loss, you will always have that in the back of your mind. With Isaac, I was thrilled to get to 12wks and hear the hb. At our 20wk u/s, we got devastating news about the serious complications. With my pregnancy with Noah, I had to get out of the first trimester and then past the big ultrasound. I didn't even tell most people until after the u/s! I felt better with each u/s I had but the anxiety was always there. This time around, I was happy to see and hear the hb, get past the 12wk mark, see that the u/s looked good around 20wks, and now feel Nathan moving. I'm still anxious though and can't wait for the next u/s at 33wks. I probably still won't relax until Nathan is here, healthy, and coming home with us!
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  #15  
April 25th, 2009, 11:21 PM
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I've now reached the 2nd trimester and I still don't feel "safe". I feel better as everyday goes by but I don't think I'll feel really confident until my 19 weeks scan.
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  #16  
April 26th, 2009, 06:50 AM
Mommy2Makenna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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PAL is just a roller coaster ride! I've had different fears and different stages of pregnancy, and some days I'm feeling great and have little or no fear at all. Hang in there and just take one day at a time.
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