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Isaac and Avery - 1st Angelversary


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
April 29th, 2009, 05:44 PM
IAMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I just wanted to post a little something about my two sweet angels today. They were born exactly one year ago today, and they forever have changed my life. The short time I was able to hold them, kiss them, tend to them was the sweetest, most beautiful and pure time of my entire life.

When I first found out that I was pregnant with them, I couldn't hardly believe it! After seeing so so many bfn's, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. I was already a few days late, but I never did really believe that this time I was really pregnant! I was so happy that it finally happened, that I was shaking and crying as I walked out of the bathroom, test in hand to tell Travis the good news. I couldn't say anything, but as soon as he saw me he knew! It was such a good day for both of us, I don't think anything could have wiped the smile from our faces! We just had to share the news right away with anyone with-in 20 feet of us for the next few weeks! I felt like a little school girl just giddy with happiness.....we were finally going to be a FAMILY!!

Everything at first was going great with the pg, I never did really get morning sickness, the only symptom I had was sleepiness and no food ever sounded good to eat.

We first started having trouble with the pregnancy around 9 weeks, and over the next few weeks we learned that we were having twins, but one twin had passed earlier on, and that the cause was TRAP Sequence. We were referred for Fetal Surgery and was scheduled to go to UCSF's children's hospital. We never made it though. I woke up one morning at 4am and had a huge panic attack. I was in a Chicago hotel by myself - I had business meetings that week. I had never had a panic attack like that and it was all I could do to calm myself down. I finally got back to sleep, only to wake up a couple of hours later bleeding. I knew I had lost both the babies. I called my husband and called an ambulance (I had no clue where the nearest hospital was) I was taken to the hospital, and my husband left Iowa in a hurry to get to me. It was terrible going though that experience alone, but the hospital staff was great. They offered to induce me when my husband arrived, but we opted to drive back to Iowa and be induced closer to home.

We had to wait a few days before the Iowa hospital could induce us, but in some ways I think it was OK to wait. We were able to make all the arrangements ahead of time. The staff at the hospital was great, and was very sensitive to our situation.

We went to the hospital on the 28th and had two sets of laminaries placed in that day, then the next day we went to the hospital early to start taking the cytotec pills. By noon, my contractions were right on top of each other, and at 1:52pm, Isaac William was born, and was placed on my chest. He was so beautiful and fragile. I was scared to touch him at first. Then at 2:00PM, Avery Richard made his way into this world. He was born tucked away in his amniotic sac. I got to see them pierce the sac and watch him emerge! It was a beautiful sight. They let me hold, bathe, and dress my new little babies. The memories of the time I got to spend with them are the most precious memories I will ever have. I thought that the day they were born would be the saddest day in my life, but it turned out to be the most peaceful, beautiful day of my life. It would be the only time I ever got to spend with them, and I am so happy that the day was filled with love rather than sadness. The sadness came shortly after and stayed for a very long time, but at least Isaac, Avery, and Travis and I had that one day together.

One very special thing that I thought I would share about my boys is that Isaac and Avery's feet rested in the exact same was and looked exactly the same. It was really neat to see them side by side - both feet crossed in the same way.

I have a lot of great pics of my boys, but I can't bring myself to post them. I did want to post a couple of pics of the charms they are buried with and their headstone though. The pic of the headstone is from this fall. We just got back from putting some very pretty blue and white flowers in their vase, but our camera is broken, so I couldn't take any new pics.

Thanks for letting me share a little piece of their story, and thanks for reading their story if you have made it this far. Today was far worse for me than I thought it would be. It was like a flood of emotions overtook me. I am just grateful that my husband was able to be with me today, and I am thankful that you all cared enough to remember our boys. Your post earlier really touched me.

Isaac's Charm....


Avery's Charm....


Their headstone....
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  #2  
April 29th, 2009, 05:51 PM
Melanie0507's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sam

Your story was so touching and so beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us and I want you to know that your beautiful family is in my T&Ps today.
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  #3  
April 29th, 2009, 05:51 PM
Melanie0507's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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dbl post
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Proud Parents to:
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Owen 5/17/09 (Born with Hirschsprung's Disease)
And expecting our newest addition 5/7/12




Last edited by Melanie0507; April 29th, 2009 at 05:54 PM.
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  #4  
April 29th, 2009, 05:52 PM
Melanie0507's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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dbl post
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Proud Parents to:
Branden 10/28/1997
Owen 5/17/09 (Born with Hirschsprung's Disease)
And expecting our newest addition 5/7/12



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  #5  
April 29th, 2009, 05:52 PM
Melanie0507's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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UGGHHHH--I promise I did not keep hitting post!!

Sorry
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Melanie (&Thad)
Proud Parents to:
Branden 10/28/1997
Owen 5/17/09 (Born with Hirschsprung's Disease)
And expecting our newest addition 5/7/12




Last edited by Melanie0507; April 29th, 2009 at 05:55 PM.
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  #6  
April 29th, 2009, 07:06 PM
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Sam, that was a beautiful story. I am so glad you were able to spend that day with your sons. Their charms are so precious.
(((HUGS)))
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  #7  
April 29th, 2009, 07:54 PM
*Jennifer*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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((((HUGS)))) Thank you for sharing that beautiful story with us.
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  #8  
April 29th, 2009, 10:01 PM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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many thoughts are with you today Sam. Thank you for sharing your very personal story of you precious boys with all of us..
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  #9  
April 30th, 2009, 01:16 AM
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Thank you for shairing your story with us, the charms are beautiful
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  #10  
April 30th, 2009, 02:50 AM
*Pamela*
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Sam, I feel very touched that you have allowed us into Avery and Isaac's lives. Your story brought tears to my eyes, it was so beautiful and deeply saddening. You are such a strong person and you are an amazing mommy.

their chams and headstone are gorgeous

Many many many hugs to you sweetie
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  #11  
April 30th, 2009, 04:34 AM
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Your family is in my thoughts today. Thank you for a beautiful and honest post and for sharing your story with us.
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  #12  
April 30th, 2009, 06:26 AM
Danielley08's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sam...thank you so much for sharing your story with us...you are truly an inspiration that there are rainbows after the storm...

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  #13  
April 30th, 2009, 07:35 AM
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Sam, thank you for sharing the story of your precious boys with us!
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  #14  
April 30th, 2009, 08:46 AM
mom 2 haley & tyler's Avatar formerly mommy2haley17
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Sam, honey, you are such an amazing woman. Your story touched me deeply. Thanks so much for sharing Avery and Isaacs story with us. The charms and headstone are beautiful. You have 2 beautiful angels watching over you, Travis and your LO. Many thoughts and prayers headed your way.
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  #15  
April 30th, 2009, 09:38 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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That was so beautiful. I felt the same way when Cora was born. I'm so glad that you had some peaceful sweet moments with them.

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  #16  
April 30th, 2009, 10:55 AM
..Red..'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am jealous that you were able to do this. I couldn't. And when I could it was too late. You are much stronger than I was.
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  #17  
April 30th, 2009, 03:41 PM
IAMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You are all why I love this website and this board sooo much! I don't think I could have gotten though the last year, loosing the boys, TTCAL, and PAL without the support of all of you and knowlege that I am not alone. My heart breaks for everyone of you too, and I think it is really special that through our toughest times, we have ppl in our lives that can truely understand our pain. Thank you all for helping me through this past year.
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  #18  
April 30th, 2009, 03:49 PM
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Thank-you for sharing Isaac and Avery's story. The charms are beautiful.
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  #19  
April 30th, 2009, 05:11 PM
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Your story is beautiful and thank you for sharing. You are in my T&P's
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  #20  
April 30th, 2009, 06:24 PM
Pound's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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that was beautiful, that you had a special time w/ them. their headstone and charms are lovely. hugs i'm sure it's a hard day for your familly.
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