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When did you tell everyone?


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
May 13th, 2009, 05:38 AM
Cmommy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NJ
Posts: 94
After your m/c and you got pregnant when did you tell everyone? I'm newly pregnant and I had a m/c 2-14-09. Some people know. But I just don't feel like announcing it just yet. I feel like I'm in limbo waiting for everything to be ok. The doc was worried about my levels. 20 @ 12 DPO and 134 @ 16 DPO. They took more blood the other day. I know I'm not the only person to go through this....but I still feel so alone
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m/c 2-14-09 Job Andrew @ 11 wks - EDD 9/3/09
m/c 5-19-09 @ 5 wks 6 days - EDD 1/13/10

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  #2  
May 13th, 2009, 06:00 AM
PixieQueen's Avatar Hi-Tech Hippie
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I was waiting until at least the 2nd tri, but I was at my parents the other day and couldn't help with heavy lifting, so I had to break down and tell them why so they wouldn't think I was a lazy slug. I'm still not totally comfortable about it yet, though. I'm waiting until later to tell everyone.
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  #3  
May 13th, 2009, 06:01 AM
princesskate's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: huddersfield, west yorkshire
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I told my kids after my 9w u/s, I left it a few weeks before telling others. And as for your beta numbers, I wonder why your doc is worrying hun? They are doubling and those numbers sound normal to me? x
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  #4  
May 13th, 2009, 06:37 AM
Cmommy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: NJ
Posts: 94
My kids know, my mom & my BFF. My hubby refuses to tell his parents which kinda bugs me. But I think it has more to do with the fact it's baby #6 rather then a baby after m/c. I don't know why the doc seems so worried about my levels? I've never had them checked before so I don't know what is "normal" for me. I feel pregnant lol!
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Chrissy - Mommy to 5 kiddos
DS - 2-16-95
DS - 8-7-96
DS - 9-18-03
DD - 3-5-05
DS - 9-7-07
DS - 3-24-10
m/c 2-14-09 Job Andrew @ 11 wks - EDD 9/3/09
m/c 5-19-09 @ 5 wks 6 days - EDD 1/13/10

It's a BOY!! - Matthew Malachi - EDD 5-5-10 - pProm 2-10-10 @ 28 weeks - Born 3-24-10 - 6 weeks early & 6 weeks after my water broke! 5lbs. 17 3/4"






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  #5  
May 13th, 2009, 06:44 AM
Jenn1320's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,297
I think your levels seem good too. ???

We told our kids after my 9 wk u/s as well. I was on the fence about it, but they were really starting to question why I had so many doc. appts. My oldest thought maybe I had swine-flu. LOL

My in-laws and parents guessed- they could tell I was acting/eating differently. Otherwise I would have waited a bit longer than when they found out (around 6-7 weeks).

I have told a few close friends-- mostly friends who have experienced m/c, and know how to treat someone who has also had one and is scared of another one.

Everyone else can wait until after 12-13 weeks.

Congrats on your pregnancy!!
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  #6  
May 13th, 2009, 07:40 AM
kellyanne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington
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I had a really hard time with telling people this time. I just didn't feel like I could share their excitement yet and I didn't think they could understand my fear (I was coming off my 3rd m/c in a row). I told BFF and sil/bil, but didn't tell the rest (including parents) until 18-20 weeks.
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  #7  
May 13th, 2009, 09:26 AM
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We had a miscarriage in September and told our DD, parents, siblings, and a few close friends. This time we decided not to tell anyone..but I am in my BF's wedding in July so there would be issues with the dress so I told her, and my other close friend since she is pregnant and I wanted to talk to her about how I was feeling and such. My mom asked me straight out since I wouldn't dye her hair, and my DD asked me straight out too. Everyone else can wait until probably 16 weeks or so.
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  #8  
May 13th, 2009, 01:06 PM
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I think we waited till I was around 17 weeks. My loss was at 20 .So i wanted to wait a while. We waited a long time to tell me kids ,because my DD (13) takes it really hard when we have to tell her that I lost the baby.

With my first blood draw they were only 5 .I was 11 dpo I think. Yours sounds wonderful
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  #9  
May 13th, 2009, 02:37 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
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we still haven't told anyone yet - planning to wait until 2nd tri started but now i may wait a little longer until i go through whatever testing we decide to do (haven't really decided yet).

Your #s sounded fine to me too....
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  #10  
May 14th, 2009, 04:31 AM
babybatax2's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I didn't want to tell anyone until 12 weeks, but DH couldn't resist telling our parents. My mom is constantly asking me questions about the pregnancy and I just don't feel comfortable talking about it. I just want to kind of lay low until I know everything is ok!
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  #11  
May 14th, 2009, 09:26 AM
katiegirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We told family and close friends at about 8 weeks.
I did not tell work until approx. 12 weeks, I just didn't want to deal with it if something had gone wrong.
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  #12  
May 14th, 2009, 10:55 AM
BellaBellski's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We told everyone (except our DD) right away. Originally we wanted to wait until after or 12w scan when we knew baby didnt have ADS's condition, but then we decided you know what we'd rather have everyones support through EVERYTHING and not just if we lost the baby.
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  #13  
May 14th, 2009, 03:27 PM
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We told people that we were really close to already. But for the other's and for people on the internet (other than JM) we won't be telling till after the first trimester.
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  #14  
May 14th, 2009, 03:34 PM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think everyone is different, I did not tell my family until I was 12weeks. My mom and sister knew by 6 weeks I think. I would say tell people when you think it's best, it's also nice to be able to enjoy it yourself before you tell the world.
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  #15  
May 14th, 2009, 08:23 PM
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With Isaac, we told our families and some extremely close friends around 7wks. Everyone else found out at 14wks. I didn't want to have to tell people about another m/c, so we waited until 14wks b/c we felt that was a "safe" time.

After losing Isaac, I was so scared to go through another pregnancy. When I got pg with Noah, we only told our families and again some extremely close friends. I ended up telling some more people around the 11-12wk mark. Everyone else found out in our Christmas cards/letter when I was around 6 months. I had wanted to make sure the two u/s I had went well.

This time around with Nathan, we told our families around 6wks. We told some close friends around 11-12wks, and then we made an announcement at 14wks.
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