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I should probably test and get it over with, but.....


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
February 26th, 2006, 08:20 AM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I know that it's perfectly NORMAL not to go back to a 28-day cycle after giving birth. My last 2 AF were appx. 35 days apart. By my calculations, I should have seen AF again about 2 weeks ago.

I know I should just test and get it over with, but I'm scared. I'm scared to be pregnant. I'm scared NOT to be pregnant. I am hopeful that AF is just late but at the same time, I hope she doesn't come.

I have already discussed with BF about the possibility of being pg again. We both want this so badly - we were robbed last time, just when I was getting into 3rd trimester and everything should have been "safe." We wear our silicone remembrance bracelets every day, and every time we look at them, it pains us to know that we SHOULD have Sebastian home by now. Our home should be filled with sounds of baby cries, and the stress and excitement of sleepless nights and little milestones that he would be reaching now. Instead, it's just the same old crap we've been accustomed to. It is heartbreaking for both of us. We wanted our son so much, and he was just born too soon and God decided to take him. "Robbed" is really the only word that can even come close to accurately describing how we feel.

So I guess I was just wanting to hear from some of you about how your cycles were after giving birth or after your loss. Before the pregnancy, I was a textbook 28-day girl ; you could set a clock by my cycles they were so regular. I decided to wait until the end of the month to test. As with previous pregnancies, I never had any symptoms (other than the absence of AF) until about 3-4 months, so it's not unusual for me NOT to feel them. I have been tired a lot lately, and always hot and sweating, which was a common theme in my last pregnancy. I remember that I thought I was going to start, had the usual PMS symptoms with Sebastian, and then they just went away. It was easy to guess I was pg after I was a week late, b/c this was unheard of for me. Now, I'm not sure what's late and what's normal.

Please give me some feedback, let me know what youall experienced in this department
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  #2  
February 26th, 2006, 12:03 PM
**Jenn**'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hi, I just wanted to give you a little feedback how it was for me. My cycles were never regular before I got pregnant. I lost my first pregnancy in the first trimester 3 years ago last month and I was pretty out of whack for a while. My cycles didn't start to regulate for several months but I never went more than 7 weeks without a period. I have not yet had a period since the birth of my baby but I am breastfeeding so that could be why. I have no idea when they will start or if they will be regular (I was regular for the few months leading up to getting pregnant this last time). I know what you mean by testing again. I don't know what it's like losing a baby so late but I have experienced a loss and it devastated me. I was in a very bad place for close to a year after it happened. Although I would have loved to get pregnant right away (EVERYONE around me was either pregnant or just had a baby) it was not the best time financially for us so it wasn't an option to try again. I understand the fear and apprehension for wanting to test. I was pretty late before I decided to test this last time because I just couldn't bear to see a negative but was also scared about what we would do if I saw a positive (still not in the best situation financially). I can't tell you when to test or that it will be all right when/if you do. You have to do what you feel is best for you and your bf. I am very sorry about Sebastian, this whole thing must be tearing you apart. I wouldn't test alone though, no matter what the result it would be good if you had some support there for you. It sounds like pregnancy is a possibility for you at this time though. I wish you all the best. Good luck!
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  #3  
February 26th, 2006, 02:14 PM
soontobemommyto3
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the end of the month is in like 2 days - go test! I understand the fear, but if you are pregnant you will want to get prenatal care right away since you will be high risk this time. You want them measuring your cervix and making sure baby stays put. So I'd test.

As for AFs, mine have been all messed up since I got pregnant the first time almost 5 years ago. I think I've only had like 8 AFs in 5 years (I had an IUD that stopped them for a year after I had #2). So it is completely normal for them to be messed up. However they tend to come within a normal range a few months after pregnancy. I stopped bf'ing my son at 2 weeks and got my first AF 4 weeks later. So being 2 weeks late certainly warrants a test. Even if you are scared. And if it comes back negative, that warrants a call to the DR too. AF should be probably be back in the 25-35 day range by now.

Good luck. Let us know the results.
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  #4  
February 26th, 2006, 03:02 PM
LeedaRenee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
the end of the month is in like 2 days - go test! I understand the fear, but if you are pregnant you will want to get prenatal care right away since you will be high risk this time. You want them measuring your cervix and making sure baby stays put. So I'd test.[/b]
I agree with Susan. Go test!

About the cycle, mine was regular before my loss and stayed pretty much the same . What changed was the amount of days that I bled and the heaviness of it, but I guess that doesn't really pertain to your question. Let us know when you test. It's gonna be scary at first (it's still scary), but we're here if you need us
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  #5  
February 26th, 2006, 03:49 PM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks, ladies. I think I'll take my butt to walMart on break and get a test. I know that if I am, they wont cerclage me until at least 12 weeks (you know, magic #12). So I guess it's time to face the music. Wish me luck!
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  #6  
February 26th, 2006, 04:14 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh honey - I hope that whatever you need to happen is what happens. I am praying for you - rooting for ya & hoping for ya....
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We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #7  
February 26th, 2006, 05:09 PM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Womens intuition is a scary thing...

I went to WalMart and bought my Equate-brand PG tests, as per the usual. I told Matt that I would wait till I got home, but once I had them in my sweaty little hand, I had to test. So I did. My suspicions have been confirmed.

I can't say I'm surprised. Maybe a little bit. If this one goes full term, he/she will be born about the same time Sebastian was. That's a bit strange to me, almost mystical.

I have a lot of calls to make tomorrow - and I will be contacting my OB ASAP to at least get the h/b. I plan on renting a doppler too. Oh lord.... I want this, you bet I do. I swear if this one goes to term, I will stop at 1. Pray for me ladies!!!!! PLEASE!!
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  #8  
February 26th, 2006, 08:16 PM
beck12's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh Robyn - I know you must be terrified. Just know that we will be here no matter what. I am sorry thatthis isn't as joyful as it should be & I am praying for hunny - in the same was I am praying for me & just as much! You know I love ya & I hope we get a chance to talk soon!
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B - Crazy momma to my two boys
We've begun to raise daughters more like sons... but few have the courage to raise our sons more like our daughters. ~Gloria Steinem

If a man has been his mother's undisputed darling he retains throughout life the triumphant feeling, the confidence in success, which not seldom brings actual success along with it. ~Sigmund Freud
My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
Don't wait to make your son a great man - make him a great boy. ~Author Unknown
You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.
A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. ~Irish Proverb
Mother's love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved. ~Erich Fromm
Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children. ~William Makepeace Thackeray
God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb
The best conversations with mothers always take place in silence, when only the heart speaks. ~Carrie Latet




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  #9  
February 27th, 2006, 04:31 AM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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OH congrats!!!! I know how scary this is but you have a great outlook. Blessings B
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  #10  
February 27th, 2006, 06:14 AM
LeedaRenee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Congratulations and welcome to the board. It's a scary road ahead, but it's also full of hope. That's all we have sometimes, isn't it? It's enough for me right now.
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  #11  
February 27th, 2006, 07:24 AM
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Oh Robyn....I just want to say Congratulations and that my prayers are with you.
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  #12  
February 27th, 2006, 07:37 AM
JCat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Congratulations!!
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  #13  
February 27th, 2006, 08:25 AM
hopin4a4rth
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I can hear the fear in your post. But want to say Congrats on your pregnancy! Welcome to this board too... we're a great group of ladies to share with.
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  #14  
February 27th, 2006, 10:45 AM
soontobemommyto3
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Hey that's great news! Try to enjoy this moment and not look to far ahead. Celebrate with Matt tonight and enjoy it.
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  #15  
February 27th, 2006, 03:29 PM
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Hurray and welcome.

Funny how 2 pink lines can change your life & attitude hunh.

Make sure you update us! Good luck with the appointment Friday

a millionb trillion gazallion hugs
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  #16  
March 1st, 2006, 10:08 AM
Prudence's Avatar Super Mommy
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Wow, having been not feeling very well I sure miss a lot.
Congratulations Boxer, I will be praying for you this whole time.

I know your mixed feelings about when the babie would be born. My last was due October 5.05
This one is due October 4.06. Makes me still so sad about Amara. I know it is just one day but everytime I talk to the Dr. they say the edd is 10.5.06, sends shivers down my spine. Thats not really it if you go by a 28 day cycle and your first day of last period was 12.28

Oh well I guess I just need to be happy.

I am happy for you, you are more then well deserving of this, and like I said before I am praying for you.
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