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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
March 1st, 2006, 12:29 PM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,299
I find myself being cautious. Today I was at Home Depot and I decided to look at some paint swatches while I was there. We had decorated the room in a sage green for Sebastian. I want to change everything, especially since I think its a girl this time. SO I was looking at the pinks.... I decided pink walls, silver sheer curtains. Then I found myself thinking "Robyn, don't do this - you're only 6 weeks along and anything can happen.." which is totally true. I find myself waiting for anything indicating of a m/c, even though I've never had one. i find myself eager to get past the first 12 week milestone. It feels like it will never get here....

Not only that, but my symptoms are mild, as they were last time. Last time I didn't really start having any until mid-late 1st trimester. I know every pregnancy is different. My breasts are fuller but not sore. My nipples are darker,larger. I have some nausea in the mornings. My appetite/thirst has increased. I'm tired, hot. I find myself wishing I was just lying on the floor in agony, puking and hurting, just so I know FOR SURE that it's real....

How did you all make it thru? Which was the hardest part?
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  #2  
March 1st, 2006, 01:53 PM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi Robyn, gosh that is a really hard question!!!! I am 24 weeks and I still get days when I think OH NO. I still feel I am going to somehow jinx the situation. Everytime this baby kicks , moves , makes my body hurt I smile and try to enjoy it, because I am so afraid that the end will come too soon. I think my concerns change daily. For instance, I have a checkup Mon and I am already dreading it . CRAZY, but it happens everytime . I try not to focus on the "stinking thinking" , but sometimes I catch myself engulfed. Blessings B
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  #3  
March 1st, 2006, 06:07 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
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I completely hear everything you're saying, but each day you'll get a little less worried, and allow yourself to feel a little more hopeful. I am also having less severe symptoms than with my first pg last fall-I agree when you say you'd rather be lying on the floor puking! But each day I wake up happy that I'm not bleeding and just look far enough forward to each doctor's appt and my next u/s. I have to admit I bought a few things last week, and I've pulled out the baby clothes we had bought for the last pg-its feeling like its time to start planning for the future with a new baby. Our biggest stresser was our first u/s at 7 weeks-we knew from experience how badly it could go-but that day everything was great! I'm sure I'll be the same (stressed) with my next u/s at twelve weeks-but I'm going to have to take one day at a time-that's what's getting me through. I also find posting on this board amazingly helpful-when I feel completely panicked and thinking the worst-I post and someone always gives me hope.
Marie
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  #4  
March 2nd, 2006, 12:16 AM
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How do I make it through...one day at a time. I had a really bad day the one day...didn't want to come near the boards, I avoided my DDC at first, then avoided this board. I have my good days and bad. But it is hard. We do not have the innocence that others have who have not gone through this.

I finally came to the decission that I am going to chose to enjoy this pregnancy the best I can, each day. I do not want to look back on this pregnancy and have no happy thoughts to fall back on, regardless of the outcome.
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  #5  
March 2nd, 2006, 08:41 AM
hopin4a4rth
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Definitely... one day at a time & trying to stay positive. But it's hard... it really is. I'm 20 weeks & we've seen our little Erich. He is perfect in every way, but there have been a few fleeting moments in the past day or two where I've thought "What if..."

I usually have a pregnancy project... typically a blanket I make for my babies, but I haven't started anything w/ this little one yet. I think it's time tho...
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  #6  
March 2nd, 2006, 12:06 PM
Prudence's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 653
When I first found out, I bought a few outfits, and my sister allready made an afgan. I wanted things this time if something happened. I have nothing really from my last.

I was so scared when I first found out I still don't feel llike I am. Even with my symptoms. I think I will wake up and it was all a dream. I still think and talk more about Amara then this new one. Even when ppl ask I don't talk about it much.

I really don't know if it was different with any of the other preganacies I have had. I still cry and cuddle with the one thing I have. I just think that I shouldn't be doing this again.

It is really hard to just feel comfortable. When I feel sick I hate to feel that way but when it goes away I think something is wrong. I just try not to even think about it really. I think you don't have to worry so much on what you pick out all ready for this baby. I think if you had nothing it would bother you more. At least thats how I feel not having much just a blanket. Your boobs react slower on the next pregnancies they've allready did there thing. Mine haven't even hurt once.
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  #7  
March 2nd, 2006, 02:33 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
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It was easier for me just because I get that pregnancy can come in so many forms, I didn't really flip over symptoms/lack of symptoms because it is what it is, some women have an easy go of it, some women are sick all the time, I didn't get sick until well into the second trimester, so I had lots of weeks to wait around for some symptoms...

Just take each day at a time...that is all you can do, can't enjoy today if your mind is on tomorrow....

It is real you are pregnant, every range of emotion you feel is normal. I hope things get better soon
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  #8  
March 2nd, 2006, 02:45 PM
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my my is that a TICKER I see!

See what a difference a few days can make, I think you will adjust and adadpt just fine
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  #9  
March 3rd, 2006, 08:23 AM
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I don't know that you are ever truly "in the comfort zone" after having a loss. Kaz is right... we don't have the same innocence that the others have. I know at this very moment, I'm waiting for my Dr's office to call back. I had my AFP Triple Screen Test done on Wed. they said 48 hours for the results. When I was pregnant with Charlie, we thought that everything was great until we got the AFP results. The absolute earliest date we could have the test done was 15 weeks, that was Wed. I was there at 7am... I was calling my Dr's office when they opened this morning... It's just killing me... I'm thinking... just call... just call... then I can relax... but I doubt I will. Maybe for today, but then tomorow I'm sure I can find something else to worry about. BUT at least when we get our healthy babies, we will realize how hard it was to get them here and appreciate every second!
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1st Loss~08/14/00-No EDD
03/10/92-My beautiful daughter Kalina's Birthday!
05/12/94-My beautiful daughter Sierra's Birthday!
2nd Loss at 28 weeks~09/12/05 (Charlie's angel day - Trisomy 18)
3rd Loss at 15 weeks~03/04/06-EDD 08/23/06
4th Loss at 9 1/2 weeks~09/12/06-EDD 04/08/07
5th Loss at 9 1/2 weeks~girl 01/14/08-EDD 07/23/08
6th Loss at 19 weeks~10/04/08 (Joey's angel Day - Cord accident)</div>

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  #10  
March 5th, 2006, 04:28 AM
SpugsLady's Avatar Veteran
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Awww, just stay positive, im still early on in this pgncy too, so i dont have much advice, but people keep telling me to stay positive. I'm always running to the loo every 5 minutes to check for blood, im contantly poking at my breasts to see if they still hurt etc...I have a u/s in 15 days, and im scared to death that theres going to be no h/b. Your situation is something that goes through every pregnant ladies head after a m/c. Keep ya head up...don't stress too much ( i know it's hard not to though )...
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