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need some reassurance


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
June 28th, 2009, 09:45 AM
Regular
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 51
Okay, I haven't really introduced myself much of anywhere so here we go I am Amber (24) DH is Tim(29) we have Two daughters going to be 5 and 3. We had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks in march. We are now expecting again, and I am scarred out of my mind we have not told anyone we are expecting again, I haven't even called the dr yet as one of my good friends is the office manager and I just cant get myself to tell her thinking the same thing is going to happen again. I don't feel pregnant very often. I get nausea every once in a while but with the last one there was no sign of impending miscarraige no bleeding no cramping looking back I had one night with a sharp pain at about six weeks and that was it I don't know what to think I'm so scarred sorry so long I needed to vent to someone since we haven't told anyone yet!
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  #2  
June 28th, 2009, 10:45 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: none
Posts: 1,133
CONGRATULATIONS on your pregnancy! You must be completely normal! It's always tough after a loss...anxiety is high, worry is constant.

Try to remember that because the last outcome was a loss of your child, this time around does NOT mean that the same thing will happen again. Trying to remember that always helped comfort me through that awful first trimester.

HUGS to you and post often! It helps to talk about especially when no one else knows.
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  #3  
June 28th, 2009, 01:33 PM
Jenn1320's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,297
My missed m/c was also at 11 weeks. I know how worried and anxious you feel! The best advice I can give (what helped me) is to see you doctor, explain all your worries and ask for many appts. Crazy, but it really really helped me to have only a week or so b/t seeing my doctor or nurse and getting some reassurance that things were progressing like they should. My progesterone was low, which was upsetting, but I went in weekly for level checks.

Our baby died about 8 weeks old or so. That was such a big milestone week for me. The next one was getting to my m/c date. Once those two dates passed I felt better, but the worry still has never left.

Take care!!!
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  #4  
June 28th, 2009, 06:23 PM
megal40's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,853
I too had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks (baby made it to 9w). I am currently sitting here 4 weeks pregnant and almost refuse to let myself get too excited. I am trying to take it by mini- goals. Like one of the ladies said, when I get to my other miscarriage weeks, I think I will start to feel better. We too haven't told a sole and I hope to keep it that way until we are through the terrifying part. I know the support would be great if we had another loss but I can't bring myself to worrying my family.

Thanks for letting me vent too. I am so nervous that I am not even posting in my DDC yet! I am glad you ladies are here.
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  #5  
June 28th, 2009, 08:21 PM
klt klt is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,233
Amber, Welcome to PAL!!! I'm glad you found us and decided to introduce yourself! The fear is normal and it's so tough. I think everyone here knows what you're feeling, even though we all feel it in different ways. After my m/c I was devastated. And, like you, I was terrified to get excited about my PG when we conceived again. But, you can vent here whenever you want. These women are fantastic and the support is wonderful. I don't know what I'd have done without the JM mommies giving me support and advice. And, seeing the many "grads" and their beautiful little ones makes such a great statement about the miracles that exist.
I look forward to getting to know you better. Jump right in and start posting. Welcome again and here's to your little bean! Thinking of you and saying a little prayer. Take care
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  #6  
June 29th, 2009, 10:02 AM
IAMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 5,318
Hugs for you. I know what you mean about being worried about telling people. The one of the worst things to go through after a loss is having to say it outloud to people who love you and see the hurt in thier eyes for you. I know that I could not say the words "we've lost our babies" to anyone, and had dh call and tell everyone. It was almost equally as hard to tell people that we were pg again after the loss, just because the fear was there that we would once again have to tell them about another loss.

Just take one day at a time, and slowly you will begin to feel more comfortable with your pg. Tell people when you are ready, and don't worry about not saying anything. You can always look at it as an intimate secret between you and your dh. Can you go and see a different ob or family dr until you are ready for your office manager freind to know?

Also, remeber that every pg is different, and symptoms really do come and go. I hope you stick around here - The women on this board are fantastic, and I couldn't have gotten through my pal without them.
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  #7  
June 29th, 2009, 10:22 AM
~Angela~'s Avatar Mommy to 3
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 5,518
I feel the same. There was a hb at 8 weeks and gone by 9.5 weeks. I physically m/c'd at 11 weeks. I'm going to be 12 weeks on Friday and only my sister knows. It's scarey to think about having to explain about another m/c to friends and family. I can say that the further you get along, the easier it is to think more positive thoughts, at least it is for me.
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  #8  
June 29th, 2009, 10:40 AM
cherryblossom88's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1,118
im very sorry for your loss. i went thew they same thing.
i called the dr. and just told the nurse to schedule that i was sick. and told the dr. everything.
congrats on the pregnancy
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Tabitha 12/20/2000
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Sakura 8/24/09
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  #9  
June 29th, 2009, 11:28 AM
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 45
So sorry to hear about your loss. I understand how difficult it is. Congrats on the pregnancy! I will keep my fingers crossed for you.
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