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My 1st disappointing appointment (baby's okay)


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
July 1st, 2009, 08:24 AM
Sabina's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Well I finally got my first appointment yesterday and it didn't go so well. First of all, she moved me back a week! And as you all know, after having a loss, every week counts. So now I am 10 weeks today instead of 11 weeks, 1 day. My due date is moved back to January 25th. That was really disappointing. She tried to listen to the heartbeat but nothing came up on the doppler so she said I am definetly only 10 weeks. Blah!

Then we talked about the complications with Benjamin and what that means for this pg. For those of you that don't know what happened, we had a fluid leak of some kind and at 32 weeks went into preterm labour. I was hospitalized for three weeks and Benjamin was born at 36 weeks 6 days. They still don't understand what happened. If it was a true fluid leak I would have went into labour with 24-48 hours but instead I managed to make more fluid at 34 weeks and keep him in until 36 weeks.

So the bad news is that my OB said since they still don't know what happened they can't prevent it. She said they will be swadding me for fluid at ever appt once I get far enough along. The problem is I never swabbed positive for fluid after the leak with Benjamin, not once. I asked her if I could have some extra u/s to check fluid level later in the pg and she said if I ever felt like something was wrong and wanted an u/s she had no problems ordering me one but that we would have to play everything by ear. I was also worried because my contractions don't read off the little machine so my biggest worry is being in labour and L&D not taking it serious. My OB said with my history they will check everything, not just for contractions, and won't send me home until they are certain I am okay.

I guess the worst part of my appt was when she told me that we got lucky with Benjamin. She said if it happens again she doesn't know that she can stop it again. She was very clear about the fact that we could end up delivering early this time. I love her for her honestly and the fact that she doesn't sugar coat things to me but that was a hard pill to swallow and I ended up leaving very upset. I am terrified that all that happened with Benjamin's pg will happen again and to hear her say she doesn't know if she can stop it this time just made me very upset. It's hard to stay positive when you don't know what will happen and your OB can't tell you what will happen either. I have total faith in her, that she will take care of me as best she can but what there is nothing she can do to help me?

I am just in a big of a downer after this appt. It wasn't how i pictured it going I guess. Sorry this is so long I just need to talk to someone since most ppl don't know I am pg yet, I don't have a lot of support IRL. Thanks for listening if you made it this far.
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  #2  
July 1st, 2009, 08:53 AM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(((HUGS))) I know you are fustrated and want to know your little peanut will be safe and I am sorry your OB can not give you an answer.

Please remember that every pregnancy is different! For all we know you could go passed due with this baby. But if for some reason this LO wanted to try and pull a Benjamin you have the benefit of KNOWING what it feels like and what to look for so you can get help sooner rather than playing "wait and see" at the suggestion of some silly L&D department like you had to with your DS.
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  #3  
July 1st, 2009, 09:18 AM
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I'm sorry you had a disappointing appointment. Hopefully this pregnancy will be different.
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  #4  
July 1st, 2009, 09:20 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh sabina, I'm sorry you did not get to hear better news. It does sounds like a very disappointing appointment, from moving your due date back to the unknown about the pg and what could happen. I have to agree that every pg is different. I not going to tell you not to worry because I know that I would be worry, but try to think positive, the same thing that happened with Benjamin does not have to happen with this pg. I'm here for you.
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  #5  
July 1st, 2009, 09:36 AM
princesskate's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh hun, I am sorry you had a disappointing appointment I hope that this pregnancy will be very different and that you don't have any problems
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  #6  
July 1st, 2009, 09:51 AM
cherryblossom88's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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im so sorry about the whole appt. as the other ladies said each preg is diff so try not to worry about what happened during a previous one. (even though iknow its hard to do. im with you on the due date being pushed back!!mine got pushed back 2 weeks in the beg i was so dissapointed
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  #7  
July 1st, 2009, 12:20 PM
justjaQ's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
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aw, honey, i'm sorry that news wasn't better. we'll all have our fingers crossed for you, that you can carry this one as long as necessary.
my second baby was born at 36.5 weeks, just because she was ready... and i really fear this one coming even earlier; it's pretty scary, i know.
hang in there-- i know that you are wanting to hear that heartbeat, and make it to the second trimester! you're so close, now, though.
here's hoping that your future appts. are all perfect, and that the fluid leak with B was a fluke.
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  #8  
July 1st, 2009, 12:48 PM
~Angela~'s Avatar Mommy to 3
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I'm sorry your appt. was so disappointing. Hopefully what happened with Benjamin doesn't happen again, but I agree with the women above, you will know what to look for this time.
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  #9  
July 1st, 2009, 01:47 PM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree just cause it happened before does NOT mean it will happen this time

Why did you move your EDD back? That would have made me really mad I hope you get to hear the HB soon. When is your next apt.?
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  #10  
July 1st, 2009, 01:52 PM
klt klt is offline
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Sabina, I'm so sorry your appointment was disappointing. Do you know your conception date, O date, etc??? Just wondering. I can only imagine how hard it would be to have to do a week over! 10 wks is still early to hear a h/b on dopper. But, so is 11! Hang in there.
And, I agree with everyone that every PG is different. Because they don't know what happened they can't say that they can prevent it from happening again. And, because they don't know what happened, they can't say ANYTHING like this will happen again. So, do what you can to alleviate your worry. And, if it means getting u/s, then get them!
I hope your next appointment goes better. Thinking of you
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  #11  
July 1st, 2009, 01:57 PM
katiegirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Sabina, I am so sorry you were disappointed in your appt today. Moving your EDD, now that is very frustrating. As for the other issues I would try not to stress too much at this point (easier said than done). Like the other ladies have said, every pregnancy is different. Hopefully the next 30 weeks will be smooth sailing.
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  #12  
July 1st, 2009, 05:00 PM
victorialv's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh Sabina, I'm so sorry that you left so upset!! Many hugs to you!! That just breaks my heart. Just know that we are here for you through all the ups and downs. I agree with a PP that you now have the knowledge of a potential issue which gives you a better chance if it were to happen again IMO. I think your doctor was giving you ABSOLUTE worst case scenario because she has to. I'm thinking of you honey and know that this little bean is gonna be just fine!
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  #13  
July 2nd, 2009, 06:58 AM
Sabina's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks ladies. All the support is VERY much appreciate.

My conception date is April 28th and when put into all the calculators came up with 11 weeks??? Well I argued with her enough, a week wont matter in the end so I need to just get over it. It's just hard when you are holding your breath until a certain time and she makes you redo a week. I'll get threw it though.

Thanks again for all the support and for reading my novel! My NT scan is July 14th so I don't have too far to go.
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  #14  
July 2nd, 2009, 11:01 AM
IAMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sabina, I am soo sorry you had a rough appt. Hugs for you. Having the Dr. move your date back is hard to take and a bit disapointing. I really hope that you do not have a repeat with the fluid leaking, I will be crossing my fingers for a smooth pg for you!

Also, I can't wait to hear about your nt scan....you are almost in the 2nd Tri!!! Just a couple more weeks to go! Way to go Girl!!
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