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Why am I feeling like this?


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
March 7th, 2006, 01:42 PM
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Kaz Kaz is offline
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I went for my big u/s yesterday with my monster-in-law 2b. (whole other story there...)

Anyway, now that it has sunk in that there is a 90% chance of the baby being a girl I am feeling really down. I just think I had myself convinced that this would be a boy and the pregnancy would be different than my other two. I think I was hoping that if nothing was similar to my last pregnancies that everything would be o.k....a good omen, I guess.

I just can't seem to get into the pink frilly frame of mind. I did know that my first was a little girl and I remember all of the happiness and excitement that I had about having a girl. I want that feeling back! Even some of that feeling...but nothing...I don't get it.

Has anyone else gone through this? Does anyone know how I can help myself get more excited again? I should feel blessed that this is a healthy little baby girl who is getting the best care she can be given and will soon be resting in my arms. But i just feel blah. Why?
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  #2  
March 7th, 2006, 02:33 PM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I find myself hoping DESPERATELY that it isn't another boy... so that nothing will remind me of Sebastian when I look at him. I don't want to feel pressured to have to use any of his things. i need an excuse to re-paint the room a different color.

So far, I am having the same symptoms (or lack of) with this one as I had with my last, and it makes me sad. He should be here. I shouldn't have had the intense NEED to become pregnant again.

I can totally understand your feelings. I think the only thing that will make it all better (at least somwhat) for me is to actually have a baby to bring home. I don't think anything less than that will alleviate my pain - not even a little bit. Each milestone I will cherish for making it that far, but I will never assume everything is gonna be ok. I guess that kind of saps all the 'fun' and naivete out of being pregnant.....
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  #3  
March 7th, 2006, 03:20 PM
soontobemommyto3
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I lost a baby girl too. Now I'm the opposite, I want another girl. I really really wanted Cassie to be a girl and when I found out she was I so happy. I will be ok if this is a boy (I already have one of each) because little boys are just the cutest little things and they so love their mommies.

But I can relate anyhow, regardless of what I am having I am having a hard time getting into the pregnancy thing and I know I won't be buying any frilly pink things or blue football things until after baby is home and safe.

Once baby is born, I am sure you will fall in love with her. You'll never forget your lost one, but even though this one is a girl, you will be able to recognize her and love her as her own little person.
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  #4  
March 8th, 2006, 06:41 AM
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Quote:
Has anyone else gone through this? Does anyone know how I can help myself get more excited again? I should feel blessed that this is a healthy little baby girl who is getting the best care she can be given and will soon be resting in my arms. But i just feel blah. Why?[/b]
Hmm I did not know what my last babies were..I have a feeling the first was a boy...no real reason, I just do...this one is a girl and I was (and still am sometimes) kinda down about it...I had my heart set on my baby boy, and that is not the case...so if anything else your feelings are normal...

maybe as time goes on you will feel better...sometimes I do sometimes I don't, then I think of the alternative and I remember how lucky and blessed I am to even be pregnant again.

I say don't force it, feel what you feel and heal on your own. When she gets here you will forget all about your disappointment in her being a girl. (((HUGS)))
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  #5  
March 8th, 2006, 07:26 AM
anissa's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I lost my Daughter in Aug. and this time around I was hoping for antoher girl. I wanted the same as I had lost. Well we are having a boy not that the shock wore off of being told it is a boy, I could not be any happier.
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  #6  
March 8th, 2006, 11:13 AM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Totally understandable, I think that feeling will come back soon. Give yourself time, it is had to make that attachment connection for fear of loss , I know it has been hard for me. Big hugs Blessings B
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