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Nervous Week this week...


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
March 16th, 2006, 06:13 PM
soontobemommyto3
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I am 19 weeks pregnant today. We believe Cassie died around 19 weeks and 1 day but we didn't find out until 20 weeks and 1 day. So for the next week I think I will be a little nervous. Of course her dying at this particular time is completely arbitary and anything can happen at any time, but there is something magical about getting past that time where you lost your last.

Baby still doesn't kick a ton - at least not what I can feel. I feel a few kicks a day, but nothing like when I was pregnant with a boy. I guess I'll be using my doppler quite a bit this week....

Keep me in your thoughts girls. I know the chance of something happening is very slim, but still, I think I will breathe some kind of sigh of relief when I hit 20 weeks 2 days...
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  #2  
March 16th, 2006, 06:47 PM
LeedaRenee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,923
First off, congrats on 19 weeks! I know your stress out level will be in high gear this week. I'll be sending positive vibes your way.
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  #3  
March 16th, 2006, 07:59 PM
justjaQ's Avatar Platinum Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Sterling Heights, MI
Posts: 19,640
I'll be thinking of you! Take extra care!
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msjaQ- 28, pantheist AP detroit mama to:
timothy michael, august 31, 2003, 12:02pm, 8 lb. 4 oz., 21"- 38 wks.
melissa may, april 7, 2006, 1:31pm, 7 lb. 10.5 oz., 19.5"- 36.5 wks
nicholas michael, january 31, 2010, 5:12pm, 5 lb. 11 oz., 18.25"- 37.1 wks
damon michael, january 21, 2012, 1:31am, 6 lb. 14 oz., 20", 38 wks
rainbow baby left me at 6-1/2 weeks on 09.08.12~ never forgotten, sweet child


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  #4  
March 17th, 2006, 05:54 AM
Blessings B's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Posts: 3,422
Hugs and healthy baby vibes sent to you. blessings B
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  #5  
March 17th, 2006, 06:02 AM
tdjjjjf's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: PA
Posts: 1,060
Susan, I was wondering how you were doing because I knew you were coming near to the time when you lost Cassie. I did not not want to post about it and make you think about it if you were not thinking about it. Does that make sense?? Hang in there girl and I'm sure all will go well. Having that doppler must be a huge relief for you. Is it?? I may look into getting one of those too if I ever get pregnant again!! Take care and you are in my thoughts!!
Donna
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  #6  
March 17th, 2006, 06:57 AM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I know how you must feel. I think I will start getting anxious again around 25 weeks - it's a somewhat arbitrary date, you're right, but for US, it symbolizes a date when everything went wrong and our lives were forever marred by tragedy. To others, it's just a date - to us, it is symbolic. Making it PAST that date is symbolic too - if we make it past the date our baby died, the new baby is destined to survive.... makes sense to me....

I think asthe day approaches and passes you will be much relieved (duh, RObyn!). I am assuming your other pregnancies went off without a hitch. Try to focus on those birth experiences as your standard of norm, rather than the horrifying death of your precious Cassie. For me, I keep thinking of giving birth as "how could it possibly be worse than last time???" I really do have flashbacks from it - it is the only birth experience I know.

I think for some of us, we really do need to exercise 'mind over matter.' Easier said than done, I know. Don't let your mind drive you crazy....
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  #7  
March 17th, 2006, 07:22 AM
Prudence's Avatar Super Mommy
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Posts: 653
It is deffinately one of the hard milestones to get passed for sure. I am offering all my prayers and thoughts.
The Dr. kept talking as though she is going to do her best to get me to 24 weeks so I can relax. I can see how that may help out some and I may be more nervous until then. But for sure I know that I will not be relaxed until I hold this baby on its birthday, kicking a screaming. I want so bad to bring this baby home.

24 weeks isn't really even the milestone in mine, I just want to feel this baby move so much. I remember when the last one was kicking, then I remember how I hadn't felt it anymore for a few weeks and thought it was because we were all distracted with my b/f grandmother dying. Then I tried so hard to feel the baby moving I just believed what I was feeling was it. But really it was just the whole thing moving. I didn't worry ot say aynthing to the Dr. because we heard the heart beat. I feel like a fool.

Sorry about talking about me. I can imagine how stressed and worrysome you are. You can only try and think positive. Sadie is a strong girl and she is coming home.
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  #8  
March 17th, 2006, 10:37 AM
soontobemommyto3
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Quote:
I remember when the last one was kicking, then I remember how I hadn't felt it anymore for a few weeks and thought it was because we were all distracted with my b/f grandmother dying. Then I tried so hard to feel the baby moving I just believed what I was feeling was it. But really it was just the whole thing moving. I didn't worry ot say aynthing to the Dr. because we heard the heart beat. I feel like a fool.

Sorry about talking about me. I can imagine how stressed and worrysome you are. You can only try and think positive. Sadie is a strong girl and she is coming home.[/b]
I went through the same thing. The last time I remember feeling a real kick with Cassie was at 19 weeks. I remember because she kicked hard and I told my husband Oh the baby just kicked! Then I didn't feel it again. I knew she was breech so I figured I just couldn't feel her kicking. I remember around 19w3d jiggling my belly trying to wake her up. I thought I felt something, but like you it was probably the whole body floating around and bumping a wall. I still didn't think anything of it. Heck this was my 3rd, I was passed the big u/s what could go wrong. I didn't want to sound like a crazy mom calling my DR over this. So I can completely relate. I would have gone on like that for weeks I'm sure if I hadn't started bleeding and cramping which prompted me to call.

Well the good news is the baby was so active last night. She kept kicking and turning and I could feel all of it (but of course the neurotic part of me was now going - is she too active? Is she distressed? Is there a problem?) Pregnancy makes you nuts.


Quote:
I really do have flashbacks from it - it is the only birth experience I know.[/b]
I still have flash backs about my L&D experience with Cassie too. I also remember thinking when I delievered her if I can deliever a dead baby, I can do anything. I will never fear L&D again.

After my son was born, which was a very quick and very painful delivery and very scary, I had PTS for months about it. I used to wake up in the middle of the night sweating thinking I was in labor again. I was very afraid of labor when I was pregnant with Cassie because of that. But after you go through a loss, it just doesn't matter. I think I would be able to handle a c-section without an epidural this time if it meant I would have a healthy baby in my arms.
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  #9  
March 17th, 2006, 04:10 PM
Astrid's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Susan ~ Just dropping in on you girls to see how you are doing. I hope you get through this week w/o too much stress. I'm thinking about you!
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  #10  
March 20th, 2006, 08:15 AM
JCat's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Just wanted to see how you are doing.
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  #11  
March 21st, 2006, 07:28 AM
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i don't know if it helps but at my level II I found out my placenta is anterior (front) so that is why i've not felt a lot of kicking. jsut little bumps here and there. we'll be thinking of you.
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  #12  
March 21st, 2006, 08:49 AM
soontobemommyto3
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Quote:
i don't know if it helps but at my level II I found out my placenta is anterior (front) so that is why i've not felt a lot of kicking. jsut little bumps here and there. we'll be thinking of you.[/b]
Yeah, I had that too with my first. Made it really hard to feel the kicks and to find the heart beat. But not with this one. I think that my uterus is more distended then in past pregnancies too since this is my 4th time and her house is bigger.

We are doing good. She gives me little lady like kicks a few times a day. Can't wait until she is big and strong and really giving them to me!
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  #13  
March 21st, 2006, 09:14 AM
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I didn't feel real good kicks until after week 20, so I think it's ok that you aren't feeling hardcore kicks yet.

I am praying for you and wishing you nothing but the best.

milestones are miracles!
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  #14  
March 22nd, 2006, 05:40 AM
hopin4a4rth
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Susan,

I'm thinking of you! Glad she's giving you some kicks in there.
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  #15  
March 22nd, 2006, 09:34 AM
Prudence's Avatar Super Mommy
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Well tomorrow you are 20 weeks, how are you feeling. I hope you are doing very well and happy.
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