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well anyways, today is my original due date and i've been dredding it for a long time, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be, maybe coz i'm pg again? but i'm now feeling guilty for not feeling all that upset has anyone else been through this? Maybe I was just expecting to break down in tears or something when the day actually came but ive only felt a little sad.
My loss was years ago. I still remember the due date, and the date I lost. Hugs to you. It stays with you, you will always remember that baby. I don't always cry anymore. Don't be hard on yourself - you have a lot of hormones going on that can affect you any way, not just with tears. Plus this is a time to be happy. I like to think of my angel baby as watching over the baby I am carring now. My due date is the same for this baby as my lost baby. I often wonder how that is going to make me feel. Almost like this baby wants to take the pain out of my heart by adding something happy to the date. Plus it is not like you "saved" your grief for this day, you've been dealing with it since your loss.
Hugs Hugs Hugs. Take care, and don't feel guilty or upset - remember your baby with a smile. I like to feel like I am blessed, because I was the only one on earth that got to know that person.
Dont feel guilty. People react differently. Just because you dont break down crying, doesnt mean anything. I am a cryer. I cry whenever I feel like it, sometimes at the least provocation and it's gotten worst since I've gotten pg. My DD is also coming up in about 12 days, so I dont know how that is going to go. I've already cried over it, but I am sure there will be more tears. That is just the way I cope with things. I do admit that things are probbaly better because I am pg now.
What you are feeling isn't unusual. With my 1st m/c, when the due date rolled around I was 30+ weeks pg. I was so close to the end and I felt sad, but I wasn't devastated and felt guilty that I wasn't crying or more upset over my angel. I actually felt worse when the 1st anniv of my loss came around, even though I had a 4m old at the time. This time, when my 2nd m/c due date happened, I almost forgot! I didn't cry, but I did allow myself to feel sad and to miss my angel. For me, it's the loss date anniv that I remember more and that's when I feel my saddest. I lost both my angels in the same month, 3 years apart. This baby happens to be due during that month. I love my angels, but I know that they had to leave me so that my DD and this baby could come into my life. For whatever reason, they didn't develop right and they are happier up in heaven, watching over me and my babies. I will never forget them, but it's ok not to feel so sad when there is so much happiness in my life.
Due Date can be rough. Don't feel sad that your not more upset then you thought. Even if it is you being pregnant again doesn't mean you have forgotten. It could be your hormones making you react differently then you may normally. When I am pregnant I'm always like la.. de.. da.. nothing phases me.
Deep down you have sorrow and your angel knows.