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name after lost daughter?


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
March 9th, 2010, 12:17 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2010
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Hi,

I need an objective audience. Our daughter Marion Isabella died almost a year ago when she was a month old. We are now pregnant with another girl due in June and I am having the hardest time with picking a name. We really liked Marion as it is a version of my DH's grandmother Mary Ann and it was old school and we were bringing it back!
Now I really think I like Maribel as a name and it combines Marion and Isabella but is it also a tribute or a lot of baggage? I am a younger sibling and hated it when people called me by my sister's name and I just don't know if it is strange to kinda be named after a dead baby? Will that someday make her think she is a replacement child? Is it too much? Please be honest.

Thanks.
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  #2  
March 9th, 2010, 12:22 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
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I think as long as it's a little different it's ok. It's still kinda hard though. . . I would come up with a list of names and see what feel right when she get's here. I'm really sorry about your loss!
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  #3  
March 9th, 2010, 12:40 PM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Illinois ( originally From New Jersey:)
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I am so sorry for your loss.....

naming a baby is such a very personal choice.....if you feel comfortable with the name, then that is what matters. naming children after lost loved ones is a very common way to honor them. whatever you decide, I am sure you will give all of the love you can to your new baby girl and she will not feel as if she is a replacement.
keep posting with us ! and let is know what you decide too !
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  #4  
March 9th, 2010, 12:48 PM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Texas
Posts: 12,830
If you have reservations about giving the baby your pregnant with now a similar name to your first born than you probably already have your answer. Perhaps using the name as a middle name would be a nice tribute and a way to contect the sister.

Good luck with your choice and congratulations on your pregnancy!
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  #5  
March 9th, 2010, 02:08 PM
kellyanne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Washington
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I agree with Kixs, it would make a lovely middle name. But I am a person who likes to use the middle name for namesakes and give each child a unique (from other family members) first name. I understand how hard that can be, as I have an absolutely enormous family, and I like "old school" names too. I wanted to name my second DD Rosalie....and then I found out there is a Twilight (I haven't read it) character named that . Congrats on your pregnancy and good luck with choosing a name!
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  #6  
March 9th, 2010, 04:04 PM
Trish36's Avatar Mom of 4
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Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 8,606
I'm so sorry for your loss!
It's a lovely name but personally I would not use the name. I think in the end it would remind me too much of the child that passed away and that may make it hard to deal with and bring up old wounds over and over again. Plus that could be a bad side effect for the new baby. I think it would make me sad everytime I called my new baby that name. YKWIM.
You can maybe use it as a middle name.
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  #7  
March 9th, 2010, 05:22 PM
baby4me?'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree with Trish. I would not personally use it as a first name, but maybe a middle name. Sorry about your loss.
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  #8  
March 9th, 2010, 05:57 PM
GeekMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 2,294
Sorry about you loss! I like the name a lot. I understand how it may hold some sad feelings but on the other hand at tribute to you daughter is really sweet. So it's very on the fence. I don't know what I would do in you situation, but I think that if you view it as a positive thing then it will be.
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  #9  
March 9th, 2010, 06:15 PM
alethia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Phoenix, Arizona
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i am sorry for your loss. I think it's a beautiful name -- i think having it be a little different gives your daughter that is on her way her own individuality...but if you have some reservations - it would be beautiful as well as a middle name and a great tribute to her sister. It's a hard choice - and really, it's up to you and your DH and what you two really want and feel good about. HUGS
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  #10  
March 9th, 2010, 08:35 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
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Location: Christchurch, NZ
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Hunny, at the end of the day it is YOUR baby, and YOU that has to live with the name. I am *personally* all for tributes, and I think it is a special way to include Marion in your daughters life!!! Although it's not the same, my DD is named after my first angel - well, her middle name is Jayda, and my angels name was Jayden - but his loss made a huge impact on my life, and made me who I am today, so I felt it was important to use it.

Only person who can say if it is 'wrong' or 'right' is you & your DH.... and really, once your baby arrives - she is going to be unique, and you may not associate the name so much, to her - ie whenever you say her name, you might not think of Marion & the potentially sad association with the name, because Maribel will be Maribel, in the same way that Marion is Marion.... does that make sense?
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  #11  
March 9th, 2010, 09:33 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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My father's younger sister died on his fourth birthday. He very much remembers her, even though he was so young. Her name was Renee. I am Brittanie Renee.

I like the idea of a middle name, but like other said, it has to be what YOU feel and not what you think OTHERS will think of it.

My daughter Cora was stillborn, and to be honest, I still sometimes call Erin by Cora's name (I have also on occasion used Erin's name when talking about Cora). Having that baby girl is going to stir up raw emotions WHATEVER she is named, but if you think having a name so similar will make it hard, then give it to her as a middle name. I think it's a beautiful name, either way.

I'm also about tributes, like Emma. However I will not be giving my own daughter one of Cora's names (Cora Rei and Erin Rielle so far) because my next daughter will have the middle name of my older sister who was stillborn. I'll let Cora's name be a tribute for the next generation.
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  #12  
March 10th, 2010, 04:08 AM
*Pamela*
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I'm so sorry for your loss hun

I think as long as you and your partner are happy with it then why not do it. I had a m/c at nearly 12 weeks and we felt strongly that our baby was a boy and named him Morgan. Our daughter is named Gabriella Morgan and we did that as a remembrance of our Morgan. Morgan was going to be our last baby and if it wasn't for him, we wouldn't have even tried for Gabriella.

I don't feel that any of have ever thought of our new pregnancies or babies as replacements but I know that at times we may have felt that way. If you name your baby with the same name or similar, I look at it as a remembrance of a very special baby sharing with their new siblings. It's what's in your heart hun and I bet when you new baby gets older, they will feel very honoured.

Blessings to you
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  #13  
March 10th, 2010, 04:55 AM
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I would use it as a middle name.

We decided to give Norah the same middle name as we gave our first daughter(Caitlyn Isabella) we lost together. At first I really did want too but I was asking the boys what should Norah's middle name be and the oldest said Isabella, so we took it as a sign.
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