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Freak outs - do they ever go away


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
March 14th, 2010, 08:05 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
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Last night I broke down. It's the first time I have said out loud that I was completely freaked out to lose this baby. Maybe it's because I have surpassed all of my previous losses, or because I am ridiculously sick (cough and cold) or maybe its both of those and many other things that have added to create the teary mess that showed up last night... but I cried and cried and cried.

Do the freakouts ever go away? How do you get through them?
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  #2  
March 14th, 2010, 08:30 AM
starrsgirl's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Nebraska
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Hugs, Michelle! Bluntly, no....I don't think they go away. However, there is hope on the horizon....I think they do get better.

I think you have to set some milestones. For me, I needed to get through the first trimester. After I got through the first trimester, I was considered "normal" risk...not higher risk anymore. Does that make sense? But really the worry for me was still really strong until 20 weeks when I had the ultrasound. After that, the worry was still there but I had to push it to the back of my head and just get on with it. It's still hard for me to prepare for the idea that a little baby may come into our lives....but we have to do it!

I really think that finally being pregnant is harder than just playing the TTC game! (And we all know that game is insane!!)

What's your next milestone? We'll help you get there!!!
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  #3  
March 14th, 2010, 10:03 AM
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I have weekly milestones. They are to make it to my weekly acupuncture appointments. I also have milestones mixed in... for instance March 24 is my next ultrasound, March 25 we leave for a week of vacation. After we get back from vacation I will be just about through my first trimester so that would be my ultimate milestone right now.
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  #4  
March 14th, 2010, 11:06 AM
dee68's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I don't think they every really go away...although, with each day, week and month they do get easier.
Just try to stay relaxed and positive, enjoy each day of your pregnancy and celebrate each new milestone you reach...and of course stay here with us for all of the support you need !
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  #5  
March 14th, 2010, 12:27 PM
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HUGS Michelle. I agree with the others, but I still need to get in on the hug! My freakouts have decreased in frequency as I've gotten past my personal milestones, but I still have them. It's better, but it hasn't gone away and I doubt it will. I'm really just trying to take it one appointment at a time. Leading up to each of those appointments, I go through a lot of tears and migraines and sleepless nights. Each time we get through a good checkup, we celebrate and I breathe a huge sigh of relief. We try to make a point of celebrating each appointment, because it helps me just take this a step at a time. I'll always be scared. We'll all probably always be scared, even if we do move out of the "high risk" category. But I am getting better at controlling my breakdowns, and getting through them - because sometimes - I just think the emotional letgo is necessary so I can get out my feelings. I'm just trying my best not to let them consume me.

HUGS!
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  #6  
March 14th, 2010, 01:02 PM
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Thanks ladies.

Kristin I think you hit the nail on the head. It was just time to let the emotions release. I have been really "good" about keeping it all together from the beginning and I think it all just kept piling up. I will have to figure out a way to stop keeping it bottled up until it blows. Steve even said, "you are allowed to have freakouts - you probably need them". He is probably right. I need them. We all do. They are a coping mechanism for us. I just try so hard to avoid becoming a crying mess because it ruins my entire next day (kinda like being hung over).

Anyway, thanks for letting me get it out and reminding me that I am not alone in this.
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  #7  
March 14th, 2010, 03:05 PM
Trish36's Avatar Mom of 4
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No they don't completely go away, but like the other ladies have said, they do get better. And once you reach each milestone you get some relief, even if it is for a little bit. HUGS!
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  #8  
March 14th, 2010, 04:07 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
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for me, no, they haven't gone away.... infact just this morning i had a big freakout, because Emersyn was really active, kicking me heaps - and then Gaby climbed on me & kneed me quite hard on the top of my belly & then Emersyn didn't move at all... I knew deep down that it wasn't related, that Emersyn had been active for a good 30 minutes, and it's normal for her to settle down after that.. but I couldn't help freaking....

it's hard.. really hard!
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  #9  
March 14th, 2010, 06:32 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I can't really add anything to what the pp's have said. Celebrating each little milestone and reaching out for support really helped me.

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  #10  
March 14th, 2010, 06:41 PM
baby4me?'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think the other ladies said it all. I tend to feel a little more relieved once I start feeling the baby move.. but of course then I freak out if I don't feel him (like tonight). I felt him earlier today so I think he must just be napping but I can't help but still worry. I hope the weeks fly by for you and you are holding your baby before you know it!
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