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Update on my relationship....:(


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
March 22nd, 2010, 11:30 AM
GeekMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So he told me last night that he was only really concerned about the baby in my womb. I feel like I got tricked, or used. He doesn't even act like he loves me now, I begged him just for a hug last night, cause i had a horrible day and I missed him. The screwed up thing is he is my best friend, so when this kind of stuff happens I don't have anyone to talk to.

I am really confused about what to do. I know that if he doesnt get this figured out before the baby is here, that he/she will not be getting his last name and I will be moving out. I am not raising a child with someone who cant make up there mind out the mother of their child.

I'm just really hurt right now. I don't know what to do half of me can't wait til he gets home and the other half wants him to stay gone.

Thanks for listening!
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  #2  
March 22nd, 2010, 01:10 PM
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Gosh. I'm really sorry. I really don't understand what's going on with him. You can always talk here - though it's hard to know what to say without knowing you or him very well. Can you talk to either of your parents?
big big big - wish I could help!
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  #3  
March 22nd, 2010, 01:32 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
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it's so hard when you're having relationship problems, while pregnant.. because all of a sudden there is someone else to take into consideration...

I hope that the right decision makes itself clear to you soon... ((Hugs))
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  #4  
March 22nd, 2010, 02:39 PM
Kary♥RN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry you are going through this.... HUGS... relationship troubles are so hard to go through.. Hope fully he will come to his sences... HUGS
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  #5  
March 22nd, 2010, 03:14 PM
GeekMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I wish I could talk to my mom and dad. They are both really to busy and my father would probably just take his side and tell me to stop acting up.

It's just this is not how I want to feel while im pregnant, I want to feel like he is going to take care of me and he is going to support me. He came home today and acted like nothing was wrong, I just took a nap and stopped trying. Why try to get his affection if he doesn't care?

Thanks girls. I just feel like I have messed up big time. I don' want to be alone in this but, I am scared to do this with someone who doesn't love me!
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  #6  
March 22nd, 2010, 03:30 PM
tatedivine's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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HUGS! I had a relationship that went that way when I was pregnant. By the time my eldest daughter was 6 months I left as things had gotten way out of control.

I was a single mother for some time, and I think it was best for me at the time. You seem to be dealing with a lot, which shows you are very strong, so if you do have to go it alone you already know that you are strong enough to do it.

I really hope things work out the best for you and your baby.
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  #7  
March 22nd, 2010, 04:39 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry, honey.

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  #8  
March 22nd, 2010, 07:11 PM
alethia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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im so sorry!!!!!!
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  #9  
March 22nd, 2010, 10:13 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
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I am so sorry.

I wasn't married when I had my first baby nine years ago. I did everything I could to keep it together but it fell apart when my daughter was three. Back then i thought my daughter needed her father and I made sure he had a relationship with her. If I had to do it all over again, I'd follow my sisters example and not have given her his name, not fostered the relationship, and not gone after child support.

I am so hoping that this works out for you and your SO. The worst thing about relationship problems is, it never gets easier to leave it only gets harder.
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  #10  
March 22nd, 2010, 10:34 PM
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  #11  
March 24th, 2010, 12:07 PM
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(((HUGS))) I am sorry.
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  #12  
March 24th, 2010, 05:43 PM
GeekMom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So it seems that the main problem has been, him trying to deal with the transition form me being just a girlfriend to the mother of his child. He is a strange guy. He told me he is just really excited about the baby and he might be being a little hard on me trying to get ready for it. Given I am only 23, he just wants to make sure that I am going to be ready to be a mom in all aspects. It makes sense to me, I told him it really hurt me. He said he was sorry, I have been grumpy a lot too and he says somedays its like all I do is complain!
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  #13  
March 24th, 2010, 06:11 PM
PixieQueen's Avatar Hi-Tech Hippie
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Dude, you're pregnant! He obviously has no idea! You are growing a whole other person in there. It's not like it's easy! Your significant other should come first, always. My DH is 15 yrs older than me, but he's never implied that I am immature or treated me as anything less than an equal. If you guys can swing it, you should look into some couples counseling. Before the baby gets here.
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  #14  
March 26th, 2010, 08:57 AM
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I'm so sorry you're going through this hun! Hang in there and make the best decision for you.

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  #15  
March 26th, 2010, 09:30 AM
kellyanne's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Why is it his job to get you ready to be a mom? If he didn't think you'd be a good mom, then why did he get pregnant with you? I'm sorry, but I think his excuses for treating you poorly are not justified. I'm glad you voiced your concerns and he apologized, but don't let him walk on you because you are young. Ditto on the couples counseling.

I hope this isn't offensive, I just get a bit protective of my JM friends .
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Last edited by kellyanne; March 26th, 2010 at 09:44 AM.
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  #16  
March 26th, 2010, 10:41 AM
fka teresarunningmommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kellyanne View Post
Why is it his job to get you ready to be a mom? If he didn't think you'd be a good mom, then why did he get pregnant with you? I'm sorry, but I think his excuses for treating you poorly are not justified. I'm glad you voiced your concerns and he apologized, but don't let him walk on you because you are young. Ditto on the couples counseling.

I hope this isn't offensive, I just get a bit protective of my JM friends .
I agree completely. To be honest those type of behaviors are teetering on emotional abuse and not healthy. I am glad he apologized and people make mistakes so I don't want it to sound like I think he's an awful person or anything. My dh says things on occasion that are hurtful when he is dealing with a lot of stress, but that doesn't mean his behavior is acceptable and you shouldn't be treated that way.
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  #17  
March 26th, 2010, 12:40 PM
Oreobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hope that things are getting worked out, and that you are feeling better about being with your SO and the baby that you are having. Keeping you in my thoughts!
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