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This makes me a little sad


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
April 25th, 2006, 09:39 AM
soontobemommyto3
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January DDC for 2007 is up. I was orginally part of the Jan DDC for 2006. Not sure why it makes me sad to see the Jan DDC come up. I guess it just brings back those memories of when I got my BFP with my angel baby. How happy I was, all the problems I had and then of course her loss.

Oh and you know what REALLY bugs me. I am definately showing by now, I've been showing for awhile, but I hid it, but now there is no hiding this big belly. So people who didn't know I am pregnant are coming up and saying Oh you're pregnant again! How is it going this time any problems? I mean geeze, do you ask normal pregnant women if they are having problems? No you just say congratulations, when are you due? And when I say everything is going well they say something like Oh it will be perfect this time, everything will be fine. Like they know! I know they don't mean anything by it, but I just wish people would say congratulations, when are you due, do you know what it is etc, the NORMAL things you say to a pregnant mom. I hate being different. Know what I mean?

I also hate it when people tell me Oh your pregnancy is going by so fast for me. Umm well it isn't for me! I had so much worry and waiting for testing and results in the first 24 weeks it hardly went by fast.

Sorry to vent. Just came out of nowhere!
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  #2  
April 25th, 2006, 09:51 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 2,406
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I know what you're saying - I too was originally a part of the January 2006 DDC and still have many days where I think I would have had a 3 month old by now its wierd. The other day I sat down and thought about how long we've been trying (with 3 m/c's in between) but its been 1 year and 7 months which seems like forever. I can't believe its been that long!

I'm sorry people are so insensitive and make stupid comments - sometimes I wonder if we're this select group of women that have had a hard time and get stupid things said to us because of our losses. Just stay strong and ignore them and be so happy that your little girl is doing so great!
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  #3  
April 25th, 2006, 10:20 AM
Boxerlove1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,299
Count me in on all of the above!

I too have tried to hide this pregnancy, although I have been showing for a bit now. FOr instance, today I had a luncheon with some important people in my facility... I was going to wear this dress that I bought during my last pg, but when I put it on I felt I looked 'too pregnant.' I didn't want any conversation revolving around my pregnancy, even in the slightest. So I resorted to a pants suit which disguised me a bit better..... I just don't feel like discussing my loss, especially in mixed company.

And people DO ask stupid questions. It seems like every few weeks someone was asking how my baby was... very uncomfortable, and it pretty much destroyed me for the rest of the day, KWIM? Like I'm not thinking about it every second anyways....

I have tried really hard (as I know you have too, Susan) to stay positive. You mentioned in another post how you spent half your life feeling angry and resentful, and that really hit home for me. I WAS like that for a long time.... now, not so much. I still have my moments though, as do we all. We can't change how people act, but we can modify how we re-act to them. They just don't get it, and maybe they never will.... I know I see a lot of strength in you, which I find to be inspiring.
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  #4  
April 25th, 2006, 10:27 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 518
I sometimes feel the same way. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant this time until I was like 12 weeks just cuz I didn't want them telling me stupid stuff or asking me if the baby was ok. I can't stand that they actually think I or my doctor could know that I was going to loose my angels. And now that I'm pregnant again, people actually don't ask anything at all besides what it is. I guess because they don't want to hurt me. I work at a restaurant and all of my frequent customers know my history and most of them have seen me carry all of my children so they just know not to ask stupid questions.
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  #5  
April 25th, 2006, 02:53 PM
LeedaRenee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 1,923
Vent all you want, that's what we're here for!

I feel the same way about people asking all those questions. Every single day I'm at work, someone asks me how many weeks I am and how he's doing. Before I could feel the baby move, people would ask me how he was. I would say "As far as I know, it's fine". I felt kind of guilty for feeling so angry at people when they inquired about how things were going. I mean, I could see if you haven't seen me in like a few weeks, but everyday?! There's one girl who gives me such a look of pity and tells me how everything is going to be ok. I'm like, geez, I didn't even voice any concern that things weren't ok. Argh! Sorry to get into that.

I kinda of know what you mean about the DDC thing. My DDC is about to become a playroom and sometimes my loss still feels so new. I keep thinking, wow, that could be me right now.
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  #6  
April 26th, 2006, 05:41 AM
hopin4a4rth
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I hate the 'how is it going this time? Any problems" question. I'm sorry you are hearing it too.
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