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Today is my EDD from my last loss.... This is the third one I have been through. It feels no different than any of the two.... It still hurts, I should be holding my baby..... But if I was I would not be pregnant with twins..... So I feel torn missing the bab(ies) I lost... but knowing if I had that (those) bab(ies).... I would not be carring two. Some people believe that babies that you have lost, come back to you. I can only pray that my losses, were these two that I carry now.. trying to come to me multiple times before. I know it sounds sappy. I just feel so sad/blessed/confused... how am I supposed to feel?
I thought being this far along it would be easier.... it's not. I think it is worse. I want to remember my baby on his/her EDD... But I feel that I would be being unfair to the babies that I have right now.
Thank you GraysMama For my BEAUTIFUL Siggy!!!
BFP 11/09/08 M/C 11/11/08 BFP 01/02/09 M/C 01/29/09 BFP 08/26/09 M/C 10/02/09 Missing our 3 Angles
Celebrate the babies you are carrying and remember the angels that are watching over you. Last year, I was PG with Max when we hit our May 26th EDD. It was sooo hard, but, I knew that there MUST be a reason that I was carrying the baby that I was carrying. And that there MUST have been a reason to lose my precious little one. I don't think anyone can tell you how to feel, but, know that I'm thinking of you and praying for ALL of your babies
(((((hugs)))))) I don't know how we are supposed to feel - I can only share how I feel - I sobbed in the shower tonight - out of sadness for the babies I've lost and gratefulness for this one I'm carrying. And just release and fear and emotions and mothers day and labour soon - all balled up into tears.
You are normal! You aren't alone! You are a good Momma!!!!
hmm - I don't know how you feel - but at least the scary seed of hopelessness is gone.
Anyway - much love!
Thank you Kiliki for my first beautiful Siggie!
mom of 2 angels and an earth baby
My mom lost a baby before any of my sibs were born - then when she got preggo with my twin brother and i she felt the same way ... that god gave me back to her. I know how hard these dates are - it's ok to hurt and grieve but celebrate at the same time. thinking of you and sending lots of hugs!!!!
all of the above. I think it's totally normal to feel torn. This pregnancy has straddled 2 separate angelversaries for me, and each one is a what-if/if-only day. Mine are old enough that they wouldn't have interfered with this current pregnancy, so they're more days of thinking, if only you were here, I could have had...... You would be..... etc. Gosh they still hurt, but I just hold my rainbow babies tighter and tell them how much I love them, and cry if/when I need to. For me it's easier to explain as when you have multiple kiddos, and you wonder, how will I ever have enough love for all of them; but you do. It's miraculous, and you just... do. You love them all, no less, no more.
Ditto for me, too. I cried a lot on my EDD even though I was pregnant again. I do often wonder the same thing you said, if this baby is my other baby come back in spirit or something. Big hugs for you, I am hoping the rest of the week gets a bit easier to handle.
Owen James (7/12/08)
Natalie Laura (9/14/10)
Harrison Dean (2/22/13)
Proud Member of the September 2010 Playroom
Sorry I was not here for you yesterday Kary. Hope you made it through the day alright. EDD and angelversaries are so hard and just multiplied when pg.
Both my living children were concieved with in a month or two of a loss (or in DS case...two losses). So I understand. It is hard when you miss the babies that should have been in your arms but it does not take away from the love you have for your babies in your belly. Your losses are children too.