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Getting Scared


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
May 14th, 2010, 11:18 AM
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I know that you will all understand. I'm starting to get scared that I will lose this baby as well. My pregnancy symptoms are slowly disappearing day by day. Maybe I'm one of the lucky ones who doesn't have a lot of symptoms, or maybe this is like my last pregnancy that will end in another missed miscarriage.

Why can't I just be one of those women who gets pg and then enjoys her pregnancy? Am I crazy for wanting some morning sickness?

I have been debating renting a doppler. DH doesn't want me to to in case I can't find the heartbeat. He doesn't want me to get any more worried.

Sigh, the next 3 weeks until our next u/s are going to be very long!
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  #2  
May 14th, 2010, 01:08 PM
martilynne's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I know how you feel. Today I keep almost buying a doppler but I can't bring myself to do it since I'm so scared of how I will react if I can't find the heartbeat. My next u/s isn't for another 4 weeks! I think having missed miscarriage is a bigger fear of mine that spotting or bleeding. I've never bleed before a loss I've always found out via u/s

We are going to be in the 2nd trimester soon! Shortly after our next u/s we will both be in the second trimester and hopefully that will bring us some peace
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  #3  
May 14th, 2010, 01:12 PM
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Tell me about it. My appointment was last week and It seems like I am ready for another appointment. I am the one that does not get pg symptoms at all. I am happy but then again I would like this feeling like " oh yeah I am pregnant " other than being tired I feel normal.. So i understand what you are feeling
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  #4  
May 14th, 2010, 01:45 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
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HUGS Kimberley....i had a lot of symptoms that came and went suddenly (like sore boobs one day, perfectly fine the next) and it panicked me too. Step away from the doppler though LOL or you're definitely going to drive yourself crazy...my OB had trouble picking up the HB on doppler at 12 weeks...earlier than that I think is almost impossible.

The 1st tri is just awful 'cause you can't feel the baby yet and you have nothing to reassure you everything is ok...i know it's impossible to "relax" but try not to worry yourself too much. HUGS
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  #5  
May 14th, 2010, 02:04 PM
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Marti - hopefully there's safety in numbers. You and I can obsess together and distract each other until our next appt!

Lara - don't worry, I haven't got a doppler - yet. You remember my fear of testing in case I got a BFN, this is very similar. I'm afraid to get one in case it doesn't work.

Why can't the 1st trimester just fly by?
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  #6  
May 14th, 2010, 02:24 PM
EVY&EGYsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Kimberly I could have written (most) of your post. I totally get it.

I am also petrified. I had been feeling horrible during weeks 5-6 and then week 7 I started to feel better. Now the nausea has not been as bad....it is really scary.

I had an appt Wed...but I don't have an u/s till Wed. It is going to be a long few days...

Hang in there. Unfortunately we all know how you feel.

Katie
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  #7  
May 14th, 2010, 02:26 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
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I think we ALL understand what you're feeling. Even though my pregnancy symptoms with Emersyn (and Gaby) were strong - I still worried like crazy... even now at 34w, I am STILL freaking out & a bundle of nerves..

I hope your u/s arrives very quickly & that you get lots of reassurance
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  #8  
May 14th, 2010, 02:32 PM
alethia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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i know how you feel - i went through the same thoughts and worries - however, with this baby my symptoms where on and off and came and went and came and went throughout the entire first trimester - it was nerve wracking but apparently normal. Sending sticky dust for you!!
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  #9  
May 14th, 2010, 02:44 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thinking of you, Kim!

I never had to wish for morning sickness, but I know that alot of PAL ladies do in the first trimester. It scared me when mine started abating at 11 weeks. It's completely understandable.

I loved my doppler, but I wasn't able to find Logan's heartbeat until 12 weeks (I was looking in the wrong place). I spent from 11-12 weeks really worried because I looked for it, and couldn't find it. They aren't for everyone, but mine made a big difference for me.
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  #10  
May 14th, 2010, 07:02 PM
baby4me?'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The first trimester totally sucks!! It is soo hard not to analyze every little thing and I was totally praying for morning sickness because I thought if I was sick and puking then baby had to be ok. But symptoms are different for all women and they come and go! I hope the next 3 weeks fly by for you and you find yourself at your next u/s and seeing your little one!! Oh, and my DH was totally with yours when it came to a doppler. He would never have agreed to me getting one!!!
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  #11  
May 14th, 2010, 10:16 PM
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Oh Kim... I so understand!!! My syptoms... would come and go... wax and wane... When I didn't feel sick... I was so worried... When my bbs weren't as sore as they were the day before.... I was so Scared...

I bought a doppler Amazon.com: Angelsound fetal doppler: Baby It came about 11-12 weeks.. at first I couldn't hear anything but than I went on line.. and they said start right above your hair line.... and I found both babies in mins... now I find them in seconds... I listen to them almost everyday... if not every other. It has been a God sent... I can make sure they are both ok. And DH asks almost every night to hear them. We lay in bed.. and he just closes his eyes... and it almost calming for us both.

HUGS.... I pray the next few weeks fly by for you!!!
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  #12  
May 14th, 2010, 10:22 PM
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(((((hugs)))))) I've been there too!!! And yes symptoms come and go - it's just fine! I got morning sickness for like 2 weeks and then just a day here and there. Nothing was ever consistent (except worrying!) I PROMISE it will get easier! more
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  #13  
May 15th, 2010, 03:21 AM
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I really contemplated the doppler too.. I'm such a worrier though that in the end I think it would have done me more harm than good if I couldn't find the heartbeat at some point, so I didn't end up getting one. But for other people I'm sure they do offer a lot of reassurance.

I have only suffered morning sickness with one of my pregnancies - the other 3 pregnancies my main symptom was tiredness but nothing much else. So please don't think that because you feel better that that's a bad thing.

Is there any way you can get another scan before the next one to ease your mind?
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  #14  
May 15th, 2010, 10:57 AM
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Hugs to you! I wanted to share that I had NO pregnancy symptoms....none none none I freaked out every single day of my first and 1/2 of my second trimester. As much as I wanted to be puking my guts out, the reality was that I wasn't. So don't put any stock in those symptoms coming and going.
Tons of sticky dust to all of you!
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  #15  
May 15th, 2010, 03:35 PM
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I started out today feeling great, which quickly morphed into me feeling like crap again! I guess the symptoms are back.
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  #16  
May 15th, 2010, 05:07 PM
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Yay for feeling crap!!!....But hope it's not too bad...
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  #17  
May 16th, 2010, 12:14 AM
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Of course we all share the same worries. Oh how I would love to be naive about loss and be comfortable enough to tell everyone I see my wonderful news and scream from the rooftops, "I'm pregnant" with complete confidence that being pregnant means I get to have a baby. Even after seeing our heartbeat on May 10th, I still worry. I haven't really had any symptoms this time, other than being tired and nauseous, which can be attributed to the Prometrium. I worry constantly, each time I pee I expect to see blood when I wipe. I know that's not normal, but unfortunately it has become my "normal". I rented a doppler with DD, and I used it everyday, sometimes more than once, from 12 weeks on. It gave me such peace of mind. I will rent one again this time if all goes well for the next five weeks. I had lots of days when I didn't "feel pregnant" with DD, and I know how scary it is. You're not alone, thinking of you and glad you're feeling like crap again
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  #18  
May 16th, 2010, 06:19 PM
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I will add my 2 cents to this even though I am kinda late to the party. I didn't let myself borrow Penny's doppler until 16 weeks. I probably would have been ok after 12 weeks but I was so scared I would freak myself out not being able to find the heartbeat. Now that we have it it is fantastic to be able to hear how the baby is doing BUT I have told myself (and Steve) that we will not obsess and if we do not find it on a random night we are to remind ourselves that this is just an active baby moving around.

My doctor summed it up perfectly at my last appointment. He said that a pregnancy after a loss is lived appointment to appointment. You do everything you can to get through the days to your next appointment to hear that things are ok. I corrected him and said it is actually living appointment to appointment waiting to hear that things have ended. He told me it gets better once you can feel consistent movement but that until then you will live appointment to appointment.

What I have found funny is that I have a friend who is due very close to you and when she told me her symptoms had completely gone away one day (she was happy about it) I was worried for her. Talk about PAL doing a number on you. Not only can you not enjoy your own pregnancy I am having a hard time enjoying hers without worry. I think it is just our burden to bear.
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  #19  
May 17th, 2010, 03:25 AM
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I am right there with you guys! My symptoms come and go, sometimes I feel fine, others I am totally green and exhausted. I have begun to correlate, lack of sleep = worse symptoms, more sleep = feel better. I just had my ultrasound Thurs and I am all ready counting the days to June 9 - which is my NT scan.

It will be OK Kim - we are not far from the 2nd trimester.

Kat.
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  #20  
May 17th, 2010, 08:44 AM
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YAY for feeling like crap!
I wanted to rent a doppler but my OB recommended that I didn't, and she was right, if I would of rented one and I did not find the h/b I would of panic.
I hope this next couple of weeks go by fast...HUGS
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