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Just venting - sorry ladies!


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
May 27th, 2010, 10:08 AM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Carmel, CA
Posts: 5,872
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I realize I hardly ever post here... it's because I'm worried about this pgcy, even now that it's so far along. I suppose after so many losses, it's normal to worry, but it's to the point where I really don't believe everything will be fine. (My DH semi-jokes that we have PTSD - I think he's right! 6 losses was a lot to go through) I was the same way with my twins - when they were finally born, and I heard them crying, *I* started crying because it was only then that I could accept that they were OK. Until that moment, I hadn't realized how I'd been mentally holding my breath and not allowing myself to think positively or enjoy the pgcy (I didn't "feel" anything for my girls until they were born & I could hold them in my arms - then the floodgates opened, I fell head over heels in love!).

Anyway, I'm pretty sure the same thing is going on now. I'm not really excited about my upcoming c/s, but every time I think about it, I start feeling really anxious & panicky. I think it's been extra difficult with this pgcy, because this is not a high-risk pgcy & I've only seen two ultrasounds, so I feel in the dark about how Baby Boy is doing. I just can't wait for him to be born & for everything to be fine! Please tell me everything will be fine. I know, I know. But I think I just need to hear it.
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Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10

12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue

6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!



Last edited by LisaB; May 27th, 2010 at 10:11 AM.
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  #2  
May 27th, 2010, 11:44 AM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Texas
Posts: 12,786
Lisa EVERYTHING will be fine!!! (((HUGS)))

I have felt the same way about Kaylie, Scott, and now this baby. Before every doctors appointment I get physically sick b/c I just know that they are going to tell me the baby is gone or some other terrible news. It is hard not to think like this when you know the ugly side to pg.

But your little guy is growing stronger everyday and will be born just perfect!

Are you doing your kick counts? They might give you some reassurance.

So when is the grand opening???
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  #3  
May 27th, 2010, 01:05 PM
LisaB's Avatar Mom to twins + 1
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Carmel, CA
Posts: 5,872
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Thanks Nikki, that helps a lot! I know you understand, having been through the same thing. I know your baby is going to be just fine too! I can't wait to see the pictures & hear the good news. You're well into the 2nd tri now, hooray!!!!

My c/s date is 6/15 - I hope I make it, the contractions have been really painful the past three days. I never labored with the girls, so I don't know if it's a sign of an early arrival or not
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Me: Lisa, Mommy to twins +1
8/5/08 Beautiful twin girls Leigh and Lucy born after 4-year struggle with RPL & 6 losses
12/10/09 Surprise! Baby #3 is on the way, EDD 6/22/10

12/29/09 2nd ultrasound - joining team blue

6/16/10 Baby Ben is born!


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  #4  
May 27th, 2010, 02:26 PM
Gaby&Emmy'sMama's Avatar aka NZ-Emma
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 56,619
Lisa, we are SO the same person.

I feel EXACTLY the same way. I feel just as terrified now, as I did in the first trimester. I can't explain it, other than the way you did - like you're mentally holding your breath for something to go wrong.

I remember when Gaby was born - when I heard her cry the first time, *I* cried more than her... whenever she cried in the OR, I started crying, because I was so so so relieved that she was OKAY - she was alive, she was healthy, and for the past 9 months, I had been sure that that wasn't going to be the outcome of my pregnancy, or her birth.... it really is a total outpouring of emotion, stress - and to some extents, trauma, I think.....

our babies are going to be fine - but I know that we aren't going to believe that, until we hear that first pissed off cry, because we've disturbed their nice warm home

Tonnes of love to you & your baby boy Lisa... Not long & we can both let all this fear out...
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  #5  
May 27th, 2010, 03:15 PM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,851
Lisa,

Aww sweetie! One day at a time

You have been through A LOT. The pregnancy with the girls was such a roller coaster for you, it's only normal to feel like you do.

Could you go for a 3d4d elective u/s to ease your worries? I know it is one of the things that saved my sanity with Matthew. It was so worth every penny

Lots of coming your way. I can't wait to see pics of your little man!
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Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (22) Amanda (19) Matthew ( 4) and Daniel (3).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (23) and Krista (20)
step-grandma to: Wesley (3), Rosemarie (7 months)



On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon. He was our 7th loss
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. She was our 8th loss Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

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