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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
October 15th, 2010, 06:32 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: *queen city* of North Carolina
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Ok, so I got a BFP on Tuesday. After NTNP, we're excited. The baby is due the same day DD was. Another june baby is great. So, I've felt really sick to my stomache for a few weeks but not as intense as it was with DD, but more than with either loss I had. So that is a huge perk right?
Well, everything is going peachy, I called my OBGYN asap b/c my OB initially said he'd want me to come in for HCG beta counts if I wanted too. Well, they had a policy change and if I want to stay at the location close to home I had to switch OB's. Well, the new OB wont see me until at least 8 weeks (5 wks 5 days now), so my appt is set up for 11/4 at 8wk 5 days.
Well, I've probably overdid it today at work (lifting kids, running around, etc). But I noticed a drop of brown. Of course my heart dropped. That is how it started with my loss in March. I'm just confused. I told DH if I still notice it in the AM I am going to the ER I'm not waiting around until MOnday to see my OB. No way, no how.
I'm just so irritated and frustrated because I so badly want everything to be ok. I know the logical side is to relax, and wait and see time will tell. I'm just irritated b/c I really wanted to have HCG numbers checked this week. IDK - how do ya'll get past the first trimester fears and anxiety? I am trying to think positive because there really is no indication any which way. And I just have an overwhelming peace about this pregnancy, I don't have the anxiety I did before. With my last pregnancy, I just *knew* something was wrong. And I didn't want to tell anyone. This time, I could care less and ready to shout it from the roof top. I am just trying to keep it hush-hush b/c I want to surprise my family in NY. I've been taking care of myself, taking a multi vitamin, etc. Unlike last time, I was taking quite a bit of medication not safe for pregnancy. I do have faith that things will be ok this time around. And I know many people first hand who have experienced first trimester bleeding and have happy healthy children or children to be to show for it. It just kind of worries me. And I'm not sure how to overcome it aside from rushing to the ER.
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  #2  
October 15th, 2010, 10:42 PM
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I know how you feel. I miscarried in May. I was 14 weeks and 2 days before we had gotten an u/s and watched her jump around and she had an awesome heartbeat. Then all of the sudden I got extremely sick. Like you, though, I really wasn't surprised when they didn't find a hearbeat. I just knew the whole time that the pregnancy just wasn't right. I couldn't explain it and didn't tell anyone.
I am the same way you are, just can't be excited, at all. I am so afraid to get my hopes up. So afraid to amp myself up, only to set myself up for disappointment. For me, my week start day is Thursday, so I am just getting from Thursday to Thursday now. I hate to admit I have this thought in the back of my head that just keeps saying, "Don't get exctied, you'll just lose it again." I really wish I could find the faith to believe everything is okay. I go for my first u/s on Tuesday and I am praying that everything looks good. I wish I could offer you some better advice on how to make it through the 1st trimester, but I am in the same boat you are. Just taking it week by week and each OB appointment at a time.

Hoping it sticks for you!
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  #3  
October 16th, 2010, 07:43 AM
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Its on and off the and just kinda brown tinged if that makes sense. So i'm hoping its just some normal wierdness going on. I of course just want to rush somewhere that can do an u/s and pray they can see a healthy baby. I never take a test until I'm at least a week late (usually 6-7 weeks) and only need to wait a week until an appt. But this is killing me right now. I have faith though that everything will be fine, but its hard not the analyze the what ifs. I really don't want to tell my mom, but I really wnat to call her and cry b/c she used to work in the OB field and could really use some extra medical knowledge right now on what would be the best here and now tactic.
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  #4  
October 16th, 2010, 08:18 AM
~LaurenNoel~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Florida
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*Hugs* I've been there. I had brown spotting with my second loss (10 weeks), but also with this rainbow baby who is perfect. It really depends on the person as to whether it is an issue or not. I think it is a good sign that you feel that this pregnancy is "right", because I also felt the way about this pregnancy, and my intuition is correct. I would get checked out, but that's just me. The first trimester is awful, and even if you see your numbers rise, or see him/her on u/s, you will be freaked out again in weeks. It's a hard process.
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  #5  
October 16th, 2010, 09:35 AM
OwensMommy25's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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The only pregnancy I didn't have brown spotting with was my loss. Brown spotting is a pregnancy symptom for me. I hope everything turns out okay.
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  #6  
October 16th, 2010, 01:00 PM
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Thanks ladies! I'm not feeling nearly as scared. Really logically, my cycles ARE all over the place. My "due date" based on LMP and typical 28 day cycle is june 13th, making me 5 wk 5 days. However, if I go by my "average" cycle length and if I ovulated what I think I did that puts me at 4 wks 6 days. So it can make over a week difference depending really on when I ovulated. So, any number of reasons from just some leftover implantation maybe, cervical changes/irritation, just plan old craziness of pregnancy that is unexplained. So really, I *know* I can't freak!

The funny thing is, when I had my loss I kept taking tests to get another BFP and "know" I was still pregnant. I have no desire to take another test because I *know* I am. Even though I know that was illogical to keep taking the tests it was almost an OCD kind of thing I just *had* to do it.

Also, to update TMI: The spotting is getting less as less. So instead of every time I wipe its only every other time and its still about the same amt of blood (about the size of an average rain drop) and I'm not going pee any more or any less if that makes sense. Its only on the toilet paper when I wipe really.
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  #7  
October 16th, 2010, 01:06 PM
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I'm glad your spotting is gettting less. Hopefully it will stop today. I have had a few days of that brown discharge also. It is so nerve racking, especially for those of us who have had a miscarriage. Anything that might even slightly indicate another loss is so hard for us to ignore. KUP. It may be worth the peace of mind to see the OB just to be assured.
Hugs.
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