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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
October 26th, 2010, 03:02 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 118
I'm not sure if anyone else here is this way, but I keep finding myself being negative about my pregnancy. I'm so scared to start thinking anything good because I don't want to set myself up for disappointment. I have these thoughts of, "why be happy, you know your're not going to make it." I guess I keep thinking if I expect the worse and hope for the best it will be better??? I don't know, I just wish I knew how to get out of this mindset. I mean this pregnancy is totally different than my last one. I felt so sick the whole time and was in a lot of pain. So, I know in my heart I shouldn't even worry, but I just get stuck in these thoughts. Am I crazy? I just want to stop.

Thanks for listening!
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  #2  
October 26th, 2010, 07:03 PM
hearts.0nfire's Avatar STPR lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 11,046
You are so not crazy. I was doing that too throughout the beginning of this pregnancy. To be honest i'm still scared even though i'm getting close to the end. I'm hoping and praying you continue to have a good pregnancy.
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  #3  
October 27th, 2010, 06:21 AM
~LaurenNoel~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 7,909
I was the same way with my last pregnancy that ended in a m/c. This time I just tried not to focus on being pregnant, and it helped the time fly by. If you find yourself being negative again, just try to keep yourself busy. *hugs*
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Wesley (7.16.09) Severe GERD, FTT, Gastroparesis, Sensory Processing issues, Tube fed, (G tube currently), suspected Mitochondrial Disease, trialing Gastric Stimulator. Nissen Fundoplication 7/2012
Ruby (2.16.11)
Nissen Fundoplication and Hiatal hernia repair 10/25/11
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  #4  
October 27th, 2010, 06:38 AM
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
I struggle with this too... I try to answer my doubting voice with a more objective voice, so while the doubting voice says "you're not going to make it" the objective voice says "you can't know whether you will make it or not - nobody can see the future". I guess that's as close as I can get to what they call "positive self-talk" - at least it's not irrationally negative!!!

There is a GREAT book called "The Feeling Good Handbook" about cognitive-behavioral approaches to anxiety/depression - it has a whole list of common "distortions" that negative thoughts tend to have - like globalizing, fortune-telling, black-or-white thinking, etc, with exercises you can go through to analyze your negative thoughts and discover their illogical basis, which ultimately makes them lose their emotional power. I have already lost 2 copies of this book by lending them to people, so I don't have my own copy anymore!!
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  #5  
October 27th, 2010, 07:45 AM
OwensMommy25's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,885
I think this is a normal feeling. I too, keep myself busy to avoid thinking about it.
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  #6  
October 27th, 2010, 04:05 PM
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Posts: 118
Thanks Ladies,
I'll just start digging into some projects so I have little or no time to go "there." It definitely helps to hear you experiences. I feel a little more 'normal' about it.
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