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So I was just wondering what you ladies did or are doing to help bond more with the baby during pregnancy after a loss? I know that it is commone to have fear of loosing another baby and struggle with connecting and bonding with the baby but I really don't want to wait until I am holding a healthy baby to bond with this one. I know it is going to take work and effort to force myself to connect so I just wanted to know your experience with it.
*Mommy to Brendan with Two Angels Above*
~Momma to 8 Furbabies (4 cats & 4 dogs)~
I will tell you what happened to work for me. I went to buy some MP3s online to listen to for relaxation/stress relief (Health Journeys, Belleruth Naparstek) as I used to have some generic stress relief ones from Belleruth and LOVED them, but lost them when I switched computers a few years ago. Way back when, they were the only thing that helped me relax when I had severe anxiety. It turned out she has a set (Guided Imagery and Affirmations) for pregnancy and childbirth, that uses much of the same phrases/language and music but has specific pregnancy stuff as well. I got those, and started listening to the pregnancy tracks at night, and getting into the relaxed state while hearing imagery like "feeling the weight and warmth of your hands traveling through your body to the new life inside, sending a blessing and a greeting" - for some reason that really clicked with me the first time I heard it, and suddenly I felt like I was bonding with the baby. It actually made me cry a little bit.
I think for sure, developing some occasional sense of relaxation surrounding the pregnancy is important. Maybe it also becomes easier when you can feel kicks and movement all the time. I'll be interested to hear what others say.
Honestly, I am so busy running around after Wesley, I barely think of the baby. I did not really bond with Wesley (no losses before him), until he was around 3 months old. They just don't feel "real" to me at first.
///...........................Lauren, wife to Jay, mom to Wesley and Ruby