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Skittles is my FOURTH!


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
December 21st, 2010, 05:58 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I'm so tired of comments about "Yay! Baby #3!" This is not my third! *sigh* I feel like I didn't get that comment as much with Patrick (though obviously 2nd not 3rd), though maybe I did.


And these are people who know about Cora too. It frustrates me.
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  #2  
December 21st, 2010, 06:13 PM
OwensMommy25's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
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Im sorry *Hugs* some people don't know what to say about losses.
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  #3  
December 21st, 2010, 06:18 PM
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That must suck. I'm sure they don't mean anything by it, they are just focused on the kids who are still with you in body, and don't remember Cora in the special way that you do as her mama. But I can totally understand your reaction, it completely makes sense and you have every right to feel that way. HUGS!!

It's not really the same, but I've had people say "sorry about your miscarriage" about my ectopic, and it always angers me, because yes it was that, but it was a lot more than that too, it was a really close brush with my own death. These tend to be people who (I think) probably never got the whole gory story though. It's just people not really having a clue what you went through and how it still affects you, I guess is the common thread here.
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  #4  
December 21st, 2010, 06:22 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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The idea of an ectopic terrifies me, and yes, being that close to your own death traumatizes you in a different way, too. I think you have a right to feel that way.

I don't know, being pregnant and therefore overly emotional just makes it all a bigger deal. I miss Cora so much more when I'm pregnant.
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  #5  
December 21st, 2010, 07:34 PM
Dacontay4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: WI
Posts: 2,058
It's really hard to hear that. Johnathan is my 9th child...not my 7th. I hate saying he's my 7th...or I have 7 kids...but if I say I have 9th I have to explain about Mason and Kaydence...and then watch them look at me in pity, apologize and awkwardly change the subject, or ask questions. It's been like that since Mason died...but now that I have a big family it's like, people don't think it's as big of a deal that I lost 2.
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  #6  
December 22nd, 2010, 02:27 AM
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(((hugs)))))) I get it too. Oh is this your first? ( esp when I was pregnant)
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  #7  
December 22nd, 2010, 09:45 AM
~LaurenNoel~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This is our first rainbow baby. I haven't had anyone say that to me. I would be really upset too. *hugs*
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  #8  
December 22nd, 2010, 10:21 AM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 7,472
I'm sure they don't mean anything by It so just correct them. When they say "oh baby #3" say yes, here on earth. That will make them stop and think about what they said.
We have only told complete strangers so when they ask what number pregnancy this is, I say "this will be my 7th baby on earth". It's just to much to explain I've been pregnant 10 times already.
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  #9  
December 22nd, 2010, 11:04 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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I did correct one person, and he felt really bad. He was actually one of the few friends who got to hold Cora. But they moved away and we haven't seen him in years, and so he probably didn't think about it.
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