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My MIL *roll eyes*


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
January 9th, 2011, 07:56 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
So my mother-in-law is my facebook friend. And therefore she saw my posts today.

She called DH to see if I was okay. She's had 2 miscarriages herself.

Anyway, she then wanted to make sure that we knew that "life would go on" because I seemed "very very upset."

She's worried that...what...I'll be too devastated to function after a loss at 6w when I made it through losing Cora? Really? I just...I don't understand. It boggles my mind.


I'm really not saying I think that a later loss is worse. I don't. I just don't see how she thinks I'd be more devastated now.
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  #2  
January 9th, 2011, 08:03 PM
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Brittanie, I've had only early losses, and I personally think that for me, a later loss would be MUCH worse. I didn't even really process my first 6 wk loss until I was unsuccessfully TTC still around my EDD. It wasn't a major physiological event and didn't really hit me hard. So I DON'T think it's weird. Although (IF you do in fact have a loss, and I am STILL hoping that you don't!!!) you should be prepared for some time-lagged emotional impacts... especially if you don't conceive again right away.

Please KUP on your appt tomorrow... I am still sending you lots of sticky dust!!! I had some red bleeding at 6 weeks too (in total, about enough to fill a whole normal-flow pad) but here I am!
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  #3  
January 9th, 2011, 10:15 PM
LuvMyFurbabies's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I struggle with this a bit with DH's grandma. Everytime we see her she looks at me and says "make sure you take care of yourself." With this look like I wasn't taking care of myself last time when I lost the babies. It makes me feel like I have a disease or something. I know I went through something difficult but please treat me like I am human and try to be happy for me no matter what time I get. I then have to remember that she has never gone through what I went through so I can't expect her to understand and I know that she is just concerned for me and wants the best for me. I have to vent about it to DH and then remember what her true intentions are and then I can move past it.

I am sorry your MIL is acting that way but I am sure that she doesn't mean you can't handle it but rather she doesn't want to see you hurt after what you have been through. I hope that she is able to just be there for support for you.
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  #4  
January 10th, 2011, 01:05 AM
hearts.0nfire's Avatar STPR lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 11,046
Quote:
Originally Posted by shen7 View Post
Brittanie, I've had only early losses, and I personally think that for me, a later loss would be MUCH worse. I didn't even really process my first 6 wk loss until I was unsuccessfully TTC still around my EDD. It wasn't a major physiological event and didn't really hit me hard. So I DON'T think it's weird. Although (IF you do in fact have a loss, and I am STILL hoping that you don't!!!) you should be prepared for some time-lagged emotional impacts... especially if you don't conceive again right away.

Please KUP on your appt tomorrow... I am still sending you lots of sticky dust!!! I had some red bleeding at 6 weeks too (in total, about enough to fill a whole normal-flow pad) but here I am!
I completely agree. Will be thinking of you during your appointment today.
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  #5  
January 10th, 2011, 04:37 AM
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That was mean of her, of course life goes on but you can still be upset. Sometimes MIL's can be mean.
Praying Skittles is OK.
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  #6  
January 10th, 2011, 07:06 AM
*Kristina's Avatar Miss Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,843
Wow, sorry about your MIL... mine can be pretty insesitive too, so I know how you feel. Hope you're alright.
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