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angelversary while pregnat


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
February 15th, 2011, 10:33 AM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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Did you have to go through any of your angelversaries while you were or have been pregnant?
How did you deal?
I am feeling anxious about the next two weeks since both my losses are coming up on their loss dates. I was upset last night before going to bed and unfortunately woke up feeling anxious. It wasn't until I talked to my BFF that I realized it wasn't that I was worried about the current pregnancy I am dreading my loss dates. Last year i didn't "deal" with CJ's loss in 2009. I was going through a second loss and completely consumed by that. I am just wondering how you ladies handle it and how to keep from getting anxious again. If that is even possible. Thanks ladies.
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  #2  
February 15th, 2011, 10:53 AM
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Elijah was born in Sept but his due date was last Friday. It was emotional for me but I really needed to lean on God to get me through. We went to the cemetary on the day and took flowers. I do feel some guilt but I try not to let that come through.

I feel that you need to do what you feel is best for you to get through. It's not an easy day pregnant or not. I'm so sorry for your losses hun. Hugs and I will be thinking of you.
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  #3  
February 15th, 2011, 12:21 PM
mom2moose
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Sorry to both of you. My loss last year, is a mirror image of THIS pregnancy, other than this time have better results. Same month pregnant, same due date. It's odd, but I play "ignorant". I just try not to think about the loss much.
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  #4  
February 15th, 2011, 02:23 PM
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August I lost my first baby so I will have that.
I should be 28 weeks pregnant right now and my EDD was May 10th so I think that week will be hard thinking about the what ifs.
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  #5  
February 15th, 2011, 03:13 PM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
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Today is my due date for my angel. In all honestly, I'm just ignoring it. It's just a date and with my other kids all being early and none being born near their due dates, I don't put much in a due date anyway. It's been harder seeing updates from my cousin who is due in a week. It's a constant reminder of where I should be and I have to remind myself that I wouldn't have this little girl if I hadn't had my m/c. Sorta bitter sweet.
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  #6  
February 15th, 2011, 04:15 PM
onedaysoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Actually, today at 8 weeks 4 days is when my loss started (my ticker says 9 weeks at loss, but I was off with the dates), and I haven't been dealing too badly, except for panicking and thinking that I'm getting the symptoms that I had then. I keep running to the bathroom to look. I realized halfway through the day that today was that day, and that's when I tried to convince myself that it's all in my head. I calmed down as the evening came, and am better now...not perfect, but better.
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  #7  
February 15th, 2011, 05:22 PM
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I think I will be okay for mine. Somehow, I think the pregnancy has dulled the pain. I am coming up on my EDD for the first one we lost in July and I know I will feel it on the day. But at the same time, I know that he or she would have been here already and that I am mourning "what ifs." I will recognize the loss and say a prayer that my little one is being taken care of. I hope I will feel okay on the loss day. Today was actually the day we found out things might not be "right" but I did not even notice. Which I guess is a good thing.
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  #8  
February 15th, 2011, 06:55 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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This will be the 2nd time I'm pregnant on Cora's birthday. The first one was with Erin, and since I hadn't had a healthy delivery since, AND it was her first birthday, it was really hard. I think I'll be more okay this go around. Plus I won't be as far along, so I think that will make a difference too.
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  #9  
February 15th, 2011, 08:15 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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Thanks everyone. I think I just need to keep busy and I will do ok. I am very glad I am not due in August again. My last two pregnancies were so much the same from conception, to due date to loss date. I am thankful that didn't happen again. It helps.
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  #10  
February 15th, 2011, 08:57 PM
Libby22's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My due date was in nov to my Angel baby. What I did was make Angel cookies just to remerber the small time I had with that baby, also planted a rose. may sound silly doing it but it really help me get tho that day.
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  #11  
February 16th, 2011, 12:05 PM
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While pregnant with Megan my EDD passed for my angel baby. It was really hard for me leading up to the date but once the date came it was less of a stabbing hurtful pain. Now because I was dealing with PPD after having Megan and my angelversary date was 3 weeks after I had Megan, also her original due date, I was a mess. But looking forward to this year I know that the hurt won't be there like it was the first go around. ~Hugs~
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  #12  
February 17th, 2011, 12:35 PM
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I am like Rebecca, I don't put much stock in specific EDDs. But my SIL was due a couple of weeks after me, my good friend a couple of weeks before, and now it is my SIL's due date and my friend's baby is a month old. I occasionally feel pensive about it, but nothing too bad. I felt a lot worse about it at xmas time when my SIL had her huge belly and I was not even really showing yet, I felt so behind and often felt sad about it. But now that I'm almost 3rd tri and getting a big old belly and feeling lots of movements, I'm just happy to have this baby growing in me!
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  #13  
February 17th, 2011, 07:38 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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Thanks ladies. I am not so much dreading my EDD as much as my loss dates coming up in less than a week. I will just have to keep myself busy.
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  #14  
February 20th, 2011, 05:24 AM
LuvMyFurbabies's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I haven't had an angelversary during this pg but I did go through the EDD for the twins during this pg and all the 1st time holidays without them. DH and I had planned a cruise during the time of their EDD before getting pg so we would have something to look forward to and be able to be away from all the life stuff to just deal with the emotional part of it all. My angelversary will be shortly after this LO is born so I don't know how that will go. I told DH to watch for signs of post partum as I get close to that time. He thinks I will be fine and others think that it wil be easier b/c we will have our little man but part of me thinks that it will make it harder b/c I will know what I really missed out with them.

I think the biggest thing I learned was to recognize where I was each day and what I was feeling. Allow myself to feel the feelings for a little while and then after a few hours or a day of grieving I would do something like get a pedicure, go on a date, meet up with friends to help get me past it. I think just acknowledging where you are at will help you to get through it. There is no doubt it will be a hard time for you but just remember that it gets easier and better with time and try to just enjoy your current pg when you can.
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