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I'm getting closer to my due date. I was reading about labor and delivery last night in one of my books. You'd think I know all this because I've done it a few times, but you kind of forget stuff. Anyhow I was just reviewing it and starting thinking about going into labor and remembering my kids' labors and of course I started thinking about my stillbirth
I was thinking about how when I asked for painrelief when I was contracting I didn't need to worry about the effect on the baby because she was already dead. That made me start crying I just started flooding with the feelings of what is was like to know my baby was dead and still having to deliver her.
I wonder how I'll ever get through this L&D without flashing back to my last one. If I go before 38 weeks I have to do it on my own since my husband will have to watch the kids. After that my mom will be out to help watch the kids.
Oh Susan - I hope that your DH will get to be there with you! I'm sorry you have to relive those memories but you'll be okay come that day. I think you'll be so excited about that moment that even though you'll remember your little girl lost you'll be okay. I'll be thinking about you!!
<span style="color:#333399">JACK MATTHEW BORN NOVEMBER 25TH AT 4:39PM WEIGHING 7LBS 11OZ, 20.5 INCHES