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Our loss :( (Xposted to TTCAL)


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
February 18th, 2011, 12:07 PM
TnPhotoMama81's Avatar Wife/Mommy/Photographer
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Hi everyone,

Over night I started bleeding more and had more cramping. I could tell that my body is trying to pass things.

We went in this morning, and I just knew it wasn't good news. They did an ultrasound and found the baby stopped growing at 7 weeks 6 days. (Our last loss only made it to 7 weeks 5 days). She could also tell there was some fluid in the head of the baby so she thinks more than likely the baby probably had downs or trisomy.

It is kind of strange. Not even a week ago I actually had a dream that we had a baby with something wrong like that with it

They took about 8 or 9 vials of blood because they are going to see if I have blood clotting disorders or something. I am sure some of you know the testing I am talking about. I think one of the tests is for the MTHFR gene thing? I have to have more testing done in about 4 weeks once the HCG is out of my system. She said they can only test for half of the stuff right now because the pregnancy hormones can mess up the readings for the other half of the tests.

So right now I have the cytotec, pain meds, and phenegrin. I took my first dose of cytotec at 1:30.

Also, they said that if we can get the baby once it passes, they will send it to a lab for further testing. It really sucks to think about that. Honestly, we were wanting to bury it in our yard. I know this may be "TMI" but we flushed the one the last time and we both feel pretty guilty about it. But it is so hard going through that the first time and not really knowing what to do. I hate to think of our baby being poked and prodded at but I think it could help us in the future to possibly prevent another m/c from happening. It just makes me so sad.

Right now I feel kind of numb in a way...I am sure there will be a lot of crying tonight but I know there just wasn't anything I could have done. I tried my hardest with the whole progesterone thing. I feel like we did everything we could.

Part of me feels so stupid for having so much positivity about this pregnancy...I really thought everything was going to be ok. I felt like if we could get past the 7w5d mark when our last one died we would be ok...obviously so many things can still happen after that but it was just one of our milestones. On Tuesday (7w5d) I just had a feeling that something was wrong. Ugh.

Anyway, thank you everyone for your support and kindess. It is nice to have friends who understand what it is like to lose a baby. Hopefully the next time we get pregnant we will have more answers and can possibly stop this from happening again. I really want Ethan to have a little brother and sister...to see them interact with each other. How special that must be. Which also makes me so sad for him as well. I was really looking forward to trying to breastfeed longer this time and just make up for a lot of things I missed out on with Ethan. I wanted this second chance so bad!

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  #2  
February 18th, 2011, 12:11 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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  #3  
February 18th, 2011, 12:35 PM
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I'm so sorry.
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  #4  
February 18th, 2011, 01:09 PM
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I said this over in the DDC to: I am so very sory! I pray you someday get your rainbow baby, and a sibling for your son!!
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  #5  
February 18th, 2011, 01:10 PM
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I hope you can get some answers.
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  #6  
February 18th, 2011, 01:49 PM
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I am so sorry for your loss
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  #7  
February 18th, 2011, 02:09 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I'm in tears honey. I'm so very sorry. It's so incredibly unfair.
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  #8  
February 18th, 2011, 04:50 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
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Oh no. I am so, so sorry for your loss. I know there are no words that will make this better. I am crying for how unfair this whole thing is. I hope you get some answers very soon.
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  #9  
February 18th, 2011, 05:27 PM
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Oh no.....I'm so sorry Melissa. I'm in tears. I pray that you will get your rainbow baby soon.

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  #10  
February 18th, 2011, 05:34 PM
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Thank you everyone <3
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  #11  
February 18th, 2011, 08:30 PM
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I am SO sorry!
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  #12  
February 18th, 2011, 11:00 PM
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I'm in tears too. I'm so so sorry.
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  #13  
February 19th, 2011, 09:01 AM
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OH I am so so so sorry for your loss
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  #14  
February 19th, 2011, 01:23 PM
ldovey83's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I commented on your post in TTCAL.. I am so sorry hun that you are going through this again.. Many many hugs.. It is breaks my heart!!
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  #15  
February 20th, 2011, 10:41 PM
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Your time will come again. All the best to you. Good luck on TTC and I hope the next time will be your time! Don't lose hope.

Good Luck!
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  #16  
February 21st, 2011, 12:18 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry, Melissa Please don't feel stupid to have been positive. Keeping you and your family in my T&P.

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