Log In Sign Up

When do you tell everyone?


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
March 25th, 2011, 06:13 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Red wants to tell everyone after we see the heartbeat at the next ultrasound. How do you all feel about that? Should I tell him we should wait?
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



Reply With Quote
  #2  
March 25th, 2011, 06:20 PM
mom2moose
Guest
Posts: n/a
That was my plan, to tell people when we saw the heartbeat. I have a big mouth though, and told a week before that. LOL

My theory was that I would tell people if the worst happened, and I miscarried, so why shouldn't I tell people something joyful? I wanted as many people as I could get to be happy about the baby, excited for it, and praying for us.

My case may be different, as I "only" had one loss, versus numerous ones. Everybody is different. Good luck when you do tell.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
March 25th, 2011, 07:26 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
Send a message via MSN to JessP Send a message via Yahoo to JessP
I waited until 12 weeks to fully come out of the closet . But most family and close friends knew by 10 weeks. We still waited a bit to say anything. Mostly because we didn't want the rude comments about how we shouldn't be having another baby. But finally I just decided I didn't care. I was also nervous because while I would probably mention we had another loss to people it might not have been immediate. Its hard to say. Each to his own really. I say if you get a heartbeat let people know. Share your good news with the world and celebrate .
__________________

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie
http://skinny-jessi.blogspot.com/


Reply With Quote
  #4  
March 26th, 2011, 10:50 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Thank you. I understand where he is coming from, but with 4 losses I feel like the boy that cried wolf. I feel like we keep telling people we are pregnant and then we lost the baby and it has turned from support to pity at this point.

I guess I have the next 9 days to talk to him about it. The second we see that heartbeat I will probably just go crazy and tell everyone anyway
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



Reply With Quote
  #5  
March 26th, 2011, 12:00 PM
Ashl3y
Guest
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by missy123 View Post
Thank you. I understand where he is coming from, but with 4 losses I feel like the boy that cried wolf. I feel like we keep telling people we are pregnant and then we lost the baby and it has turned from support to pity at this point.
I guess I have the next 9 days to talk to him about it. The second we see that heartbeat I will probably just go crazy and tell everyone anyway
I totally understand this, which is why I waited until 13 weeks this time around.I had an ultrasound at 12w6d and I decided that if everything looked good at that ultrasound, we would tell people. It did, so we did.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
March 26th, 2011, 12:07 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,044
Do what you feel is right, and what will make you most comfortable. We told everyone right away.
__________________
Rachel
Mommy to Alexander, Annabella, & always missing our angel!
Reply With Quote
  #7  
March 26th, 2011, 02:06 PM
BeccaM's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 3,951
Send a message via Yahoo to BeccaM
Other than my JM family we didnt tell anyone til after the first trimester. It was just too much after yelling from the rooftops last time we got pregnant and then have to turn around and tell everyone we lost it.....Some do like to tell as soon as they know in case something happens they have the support of family to get thru it... It really just depends on what you want and feel comfy with...
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #8  
March 26th, 2011, 03:10 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I agree with the others, it depends on what you feel comfortable with. With Erin I waited until we saw the heartbeat, but with Patrick and Skittles I told right away. I figured I wanted to celebrate as much as I could, no matter what happened.
__________________
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


Reply With Quote
  #9  
March 26th, 2011, 04:07 PM
Micksbabe's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,347
We have told family and a few close friends! I won't be telling anyone else until we hear the heartbeat which is super far away since we don't get an early ultrasound and my 1st appointment isn't until 12 weeks

I would talk to you DH and just let him know how you are feeling. I can feel the amount of love you two have for each other through your posts and he will support you
__________________

Thank you Bokkechick for my gorgeous siggie

Reply With Quote
  #10  
March 26th, 2011, 04:48 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 6,097
Df and I agreed not to tell until after the first trimester screen for obvious reasons. Telling my mom I am pregnant is not something that I want to do over the phone so it will be quite until we go home for a wedding the end of May, it just works out that it will be the end of the first trimester.

If your not comfortable telling people right away, I would talk to him about it and I am sure he'll understand
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #11  
March 26th, 2011, 05:24 PM
AliciaF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 2,517
We told close family and friends pretty quickly but held off on telling most people, including our kids, until I was 10 weeks. We didn't want the kids to have to endure another loss after losing their brother at 20 weeks.

We told everyone at our dd's 1st b-day by having her unwrap a "big sister" shirt
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for my perfect siggy Follow us on Facebook

Reply With Quote
  #12  
March 26th, 2011, 07:07 PM
MamaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 8,300
We told family and a few close friends right away; people who we felt comfortable sharing with if we had another loss, and people we knew we could count on for support. The rest of the world waited until almost 10 weeks ( I had an SCH with this PG so I had about 4 ultrasound by that point), and then announced on FB.

Do what feels right for you and DH.
__________________



















Reply With Quote
  #13  
March 26th, 2011, 07:10 PM
tobi4's Avatar Tobi
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 4,409
Other than our parents and a couple of close family members we planned on waiting until 12 weeks, after the nt scan. As it turned out we had 5th disease at work so I had to be transfered out at 61/2 weeks. So much for planning when to tell work! lol. I completely agree with having the support of as many loved ones as you feel comfortable.
__________________
Mom to Colton,Megan, Caitlyn, Nick, Brandon and 2 angels.
BFP Dec 2010 hcg Dec 18 13dpo 58... Dec 20 15 dpo 190.4 (28 hr doubling)

[/url
Reply With Quote
  #14  
March 26th, 2011, 08:17 PM
Sillylittlefishey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: IL
Posts: 2,852
This is something that DH and I have been debating.

I want to wait until we get past where we were when we lost our last baby (8weeks 1 day). As long as everything looks good and the dr is optimistic.

Dh wants to wait until after the first trimester...even though he's already blabbed it to his boss....

Telling my sister on the other hand...I'd rather wait until the baby can tell her theirself...she is always a huge source of stress in my pregnancies and gets increasingly worse every one...and I'm not convinced she didn't have a hand in our m/c with all the stress she caused but that's another story for another day...
__________________








Reply With Quote
  #15  
March 27th, 2011, 06:48 AM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,756
Missy, you should do whatever you're comfortable with.

I think we will tell around 8 weeks after our first u/s, mostly because keeping it a secret is really hard with my mom knowing that we were doing an IUI. I actually had to lie to her, which I feel bad about, but DH doesn't want to tell yet. I just feel stuck.

It can be hard to work out a compromise on this, but I hope you are happy with whatever you both decide.
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #16  
March 27th, 2011, 01:12 PM
ItsFinallyOct's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 708
Our first time pregnant last year, we waited til 13 weeks til it was "safe" and lost our baby at 17 weeks. This time...we will tell when I am too fat to not hide it..or around 18 weeks. I'd love to be able to tell everyone right away, but the less that know..the less we have to explain to if there's another tragedy. Ahh how a MC changes things
Reply With Quote
  #17  
March 27th, 2011, 02:57 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,315
I just recently told my sister at 9wks, but only because we went away to a water park and she wanted to drink the night away with me........I had no choice. I will not be telling my kids until the next appt, 11w6d. My dr. put that high risk fear into me that the 11th week is the critical week for first trimester loss (meaning if I make it to the 11th week, we should be in the clear). I dont want my kids all upset if I can controll that part. Heck, I did not even want to tell my JM friends until I was past the 8th week..........the whole pitty thing, I get. After so many loss's, I guess its the only way we take support......I was happy just telling you!
__________________
Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:43 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0