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Am I in the wrong??


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
March 27th, 2011, 10:39 AM
mom2moose
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Ok (This is me taking a deep breath because I'm angry. LOL) One of the posts in my DDC was about baby monitors. You've all heard my story about why I like the Angelcare baby monitors for movement. (First DH died . . . ) Me, along with a couple other ladies, posted we liked the Angelcare monitors. One woman posted she thought they were a bad idea and for "overportective" mothers who then caused a "neurosis". (Para-phrasing here other than the words in quotes.) I replied back that I didn't think it made me over-protective or neurotic, just smart. And that I wanted to do whatever I could to keep my baby safe. She somehow turns this into me calling her stupid, I didn't, and that she should be able to express her opinion. And she should. But she didn't need to imply bad things about us mothers who DID use the Angelcare. And earlier, when another woman had asked opinions on her baby names, instead of just saying she didn't like them, she made this huge production of how that baby will never get a job because it would have an unusual name!!!! WHAT?? I know that there will be differences in opinions with SO many women. But there is NEVER an excuse to be rude, is there? Am I wrong for even commenting back? Or, am I blowing this out of proportion, because of my reasons behind wanting the baby monitor? I don't know. I know I'm moody, but I just feel that we should be kind to eachother, even when we all have different approaches to pregnancy and motherhood.
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  #2  
March 27th, 2011, 10:43 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You are not wrong...
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  #3  
March 27th, 2011, 10:43 AM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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I agree that everything should be nice. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. I have heard nothing but good things about the anglecare and it seems that a number of women in the DDC had/have them. I have not read the thread past my post but I would imagine she is just a grumpy pants. I might have to go check now though nosy me. Don't let it bother you. I think its a good idea to keep them safe.
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  #4  
March 27th, 2011, 10:46 AM
mom2moose
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I thought that if maybe I was (somewhat) polite, (I'm an adult, not an angel. LOL) that she would understand where I was coming from. But it doesn't look like that's going to happen. Perhaps I'm just over sensitive. I just decided to quit debating it with her. She's irritated me numerous times, (about the baby names of another woman, and she RELALY went off to those who didn't keep their child rear facing for 2 years. There ARE good reasons why some of us turned our kids early!) LOL I just realized I was ranting again. I'm done now before i lose my mind. LOL Sorry ladies!
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  #5  
March 27th, 2011, 10:51 AM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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I have to admit I read her post differently. But I only need a monitor for during the day when baby isn't with me. She did say she understood why mom's want them. She just feels that society is becoming very overprotective of children. I don't think she was saying you personally are being overprotective. But again I read it differently than you did. I have noticed that her posts are more "honest" than others but I mostly shrug it off. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Sorry that you got into a debate with her. I would just shrug it off. I think after a loss we do become more protective with good reason. We know the feeling of lossing a child. Moms that have never been through this see it different. I was a different type of mom before my losses to be honest.

Don't let her get to you. I don't think she meant any harm just her opinion.
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Last edited by JessP; March 27th, 2011 at 10:55 AM.
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  #6  
March 27th, 2011, 11:06 AM
mom2moose
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Jess - You're probably right. I'm in a pissy mood and am over sensitive today. Ugg. She's bothered me before, so I was irritated before I even read it. I'm just going to step away. LOL Thanks you for talking me down from the crazy train I was ready to board!! LOL
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  #7  
March 27th, 2011, 11:25 AM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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No worries. I have seen some of her posts. We are all so hormonal sometimes we just need to see the other side. Glad I could help out .
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  #8  
March 27th, 2011, 12:08 PM
hearts.0nfire's Avatar STPR lover
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I don't think you were wrong. I actually went to the post to read it. The first post wasn't as bad but when she kept making it sound like you were calling her stupid was a bit much. Also I am so sorry for your loss. We bought the angelcare monitor last friday because i'm terrified of leaving her in the room alone while sleeping. It brings me a lot of piece of mind to know that when i'm in the other room if something does go wrong it'll go off.
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  #9  
March 27th, 2011, 12:08 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I went to your ddc and read the thread, and did take it the way you did. These monitors are the reasons why SID's have decreased, along with alot of public information on the subject. I have personally never used one, as my infants co-sleep with me or sleep next to me in their craddels and Im a light sleeper. I have thought of getting one, but like I said, I practically sleep with my hand on their chests, lol..........

If I were in your ddc, I probably would of never even went into the thread, as I have no opinion on any brand of monitor......women dont want to see the words nerotic and overprotective being used in any part of their pregnancy, certainly any woman who has ever experienced loss before.
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  #10  
March 27th, 2011, 12:17 PM
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I have to say...some people will just get under your skin. I know what you mean about going into the post without an "open mind" toward her posts (not her specifically, but I have done it with a couple mamas on this site). So I understand why you are feeling sorta irritated with her responses, no matter if they were truly directed at you or not.

I don't think you are wrong. I don't think anyone is "wrong" in an opinion debate. But there is NO reason to be rude or condecending, which I see was happening. Different mom's have different reasons for wanting certain things. Having losses just amplifies something like that. I would love an angelcare monitor...but I have no reason for one. I cosleep in a co-sleeper and rarely leave the baby. BUT, I still sometimes want to have one.
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