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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
May 15th, 2011, 08:44 PM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks for all the support, ladies. I just started worrying about a family member seeing this post and decided to calm my nerves I would take it down

Thanks for letting me vent, though
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Last edited by ohnicole; May 16th, 2011 at 02:59 PM.
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  #2  
May 15th, 2011, 09:40 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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Well not being Catholic I don't know that I can help much. However I do agree that if their church has stipulations on who can be a Godparent then they should have informed you. The only reason not to would be if they assumed that your DH knew and would tell you. My guess is they thought your DH knew the requirements and would take care of it. I personally would let your DH handle it and just try to relax. I know its hard sometimes but its something I am working on too. I sometimes get to worked up about DH's family and it just causes me unwanted stress and drama. I hope it all works out and I am sorry that you are getting so frustrated.
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  #3  
May 16th, 2011, 01:13 AM
mom2moose
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Catholic school girl here!! There are an amazing amount of rules to get your baby baptized in the Catholic church. As I am no longer a practicing member, they won't allow my child to be baptized in the church. (Which I'm fine with, and am looking into alternative methods.) The fact is, it doesn't mean anything, to be a godparent in the church, like that. You just stand there for an hour and then it's over. Godparents in the eyes of the law is the only thing that "matters". As Catholics, they should have known what the rules were though, instead of putting you through the hassle of it. I would just tell them to have the cousin do it, and opposed to having to lie to a priest. LOL Sorry you're going to all the hassle of it though. It must be frustrating!!
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  #4  
May 16th, 2011, 06:28 AM
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Nicole, I feel for you, because I am not religious (neither is DH) and some of DH's family are VERY religious, almost evangelical. I have strong values and one of my primary ones is honesty. I take honesty and integrity very seriously in my life. I have been shocked at several things that DH's family expected me to boldface lie about to other family members in order to "keep up appearances". Like before we married (and even when we were engaged) we had to pretend that we were not having "premarital relations" - we were ADULTS, 25-26 year old grad students living off our stipends (no support from our families), and basically living together, which we were totally open about with my family and I found no shame in whatsoever. But for DH's family we had to maintain separate apartments and hide all my stuff when they came to visit his place, etc. We took a trip together over spring break and DH told his family we had a hotel room with two beds It was just absurd to me and I always hated it, but I felt like I had no choice but to go along.

So that probably doesn't really help you, but I understand what you are dealing with a little bit.
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  #5  
May 16th, 2011, 06:58 AM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks, ladies. I know it's not really a big deal, I just have to keep reminding myself to let it go, LOL.
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Last edited by ohnicole; May 16th, 2011 at 03:00 PM.
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  #6  
May 16th, 2011, 09:05 AM
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Nicole I thought maybe I could offer some insight (since I'm Catholic). My sister has 3 kids and my newest nephew she asked me and my dad to be Godparents. My dad is not Catholic and the church has been made aware of this. They said it used to be that you had to be Catholic but now only one of the Godparents must be. Hope this helps you somewhat and if you have any questions feel free to PM me.

On another note it is totally their responsibility to make sure the person they are choosing meet the requirements and I think they should have done that before asking you. So poo on them
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  #7  
May 16th, 2011, 09:27 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would just let it go Nicole. It is their problem and I feel it is a horrible sin for them to lie to a church and god for their own convenience.

You are a strong girl for sticking to your convictions.
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  #8  
May 16th, 2011, 12:14 PM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
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Not being catholic, I'd don't have much advice except that it is their fault, they should fix it and you should be able to relax and not worry about it.
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  #9  
May 16th, 2011, 01:20 PM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Soon I will find out what they want to do, and if it involves any dishonesty or makes me uncomfortable, I will just let them know my limits. Sigh.
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Last edited by ohnicole; May 16th, 2011 at 03:01 PM.
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  #10  
May 16th, 2011, 03:19 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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Nicole I am glad you were able to vent. You know we have a private forum that you can post in as well .

That goes for any of you ladies.
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