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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
May 24th, 2011, 08:14 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,364
Hi Ladies,

I'm just looking for a little support from women who have been where I am now - terrified of yet another pregnancy loss after two already this year.

Here is my story. I have a 4 year old son who is happy and healthy. When he was two we started trying again. After a year of fertility treatments and IUI, we got pregnant, but unfortunately my husband and I had to make the heartbreaking decision to end a pregnancy with severe Spina Bifida/Hydracephelus at 20 weeks. It was the worst month of our lives but we made the only decision we could given the prognosis and our son at home. 6 months later we conceived again and this time I miscarried at 12 weeks (genetic abnormalities). The two incidents are not related.

After much discussion we decided to try again and for the first time in four pregnancies I got pregnant on my own without any treatment and I am now 6 weeks along. I had my first ultrasound today and the baby looked right on track with a strong heartbeat. I'd been worried all weekend that the pregnancy test was a mistake as i've never gotten pregnant without either clomid or injectibles, and i've spent most of the last 7 years trying to get pregnant.

Now that we know it is real, I'm terrified that something terrible will happen. I can't think about anything else but this baby and what will happen if something goes wrong again. I am hoping some of you have some wonderful stories about successful pregnancies after a loss, and some friends to keep me sane while I wait for the 12 and 20 week tests.

Thanks,
Becca
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  #2  
May 24th, 2011, 08:41 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
Welcome Becca! I'm so sorry about your losses and all your difficulties in this journey. 7 years is a long time, HUGS.....

I hope that the fact that this pregnancy "took" on its own, without fertility treatments, is a great sign for you that you have a strong, healthy little bean in there and all will be well!!!! Seeing the heartbeat is fantastic news, congrats!!!

Pregnancy after loss is very challenging, especially when you have huge milestones to get past before you can breathe again. We understand and are here for you whenever you need support or to vent, this is a wonderful board!
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  #3  
May 24th, 2011, 08:59 AM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
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Welcome to the board and JM. This is a great group of ladies with lots of success stories . I had a loss at 15 weeks and 12 weeks. No known cause. I am pregnant again and at 22 weeks and she is perfect. I agree with Shen the fact that you got pregnant on your own and baby is doing so well is a great sign. Take it one day at a time. We are here for all the crazy moments. Pregnancy after Loss is hard. But we are all here together.
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  #4  
May 24th, 2011, 09:22 AM
mom2moose
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Posts: n/a
Congrats on the baby!! And Welcome to the board!! This is the place to be for any concerns or fears you may have. We've all been there.

Sorry for your losses. I agree with Shen, that maybe because you did this on your own, that it means it'll be a great pregnancy. Also, I think it's great they already saw the heartbeat!! Yay!!

Looking forward to getting to know you!!
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  #5  
May 24th, 2011, 09:41 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,364
Thank you all for your replies! I'm still kind of in shock that I'm pregnant at all. We've been planning to go back for IUI for about a month now but I'd been just waiting for my period to start. I called the clinic Friday and they said they could give me something to bring on my period but i should take a pregnancy test over the weekend and call back Monday. I did the test just to confirm that i wasn't pregnant and literally fell over when i saw how fast that plus sign came up. I do feel like getting pregnant on my own for the first time must be some sort of sign that this is meant to happen. But I can't stop thinking about the losses as well and i know i'm in for a long 12 weeks until i can get through all the screenings.
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  #6  
May 24th, 2011, 10:01 AM
onedaysoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Montreal
Posts: 3,168
Welcome Becca and congrats! Sorry for you previous losses. Pregnancy after Loss can be a hard time, but it does get easier and we're all here to listen to your fears and concerns and of course through the happy times too.

I hope this is it for you and agree with Shen that getting pregnant on your own should be a good sign!
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~~~




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  #7  
May 24th, 2011, 11:38 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Hi and welcome to JM! Short version: We tried for 2.5 years with 4 losses to have a baby. Due to my age (42) and my fsh the RE told us I would not get pregnant without IVF and donor eggs. We tried Clomid and IUI all failures. Ran out of money and got pregnant 2 more times on our own (both losses). Now we are 13+ weeks pregnant.

Hang in there - we all know how stressful all of this is. We are in it together
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
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  #8  
May 24th, 2011, 12:58 PM
OurSweetLabs's Avatar I LOVE My Boys!!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 11,003
Welcome


This board is a wonderful place to be !

My Name is Donna, I the mom of a three year old. My most recent losses were at 6 weeks and our twin at 8 weeks 2 days..
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  #9  
May 24th, 2011, 01:18 PM
8miraclez's Avatar Formerly Halfbaked
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 7,469
and
This is a great group of ladies. My losses were all early but we all know the anxiety that comes from just getting a positive test. That bean already sounds determined. I hope you have a great 8 months.
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  #10  
May 24th, 2011, 01:26 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,017
Hi Becca...sounds like you already have a little fighter on your hands! Welcome and we are all here for you. I pray this bean of yours is absolutely perfect and look forward to a day you post pics of that baby post-delivery. Shen is right on, getting pregnant all on your own this time and seeing a heartbeat are fantastic signs. I pray you have a happy and very healhty 9 months.
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“Before you were conceived, I wanted you...
Before you were born, I loved you...
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you...
This is the miracle of love.” -Maureen Mansfield


(6), (3) and a due Dec. 25, 2011 and one up above and forever in our hearts.




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  #11  
May 30th, 2011, 08:27 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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Its hard not to think about the losses. That is what is so great about this group of ladies we understand the crazies and how a loss can make you worry so much more. Glad to see you are jumping right in. Looking forward to getting to know you more as the next 9 months go by . KUP on how you are doing.
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  #12  
May 30th, 2011, 09:10 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,044
Welcome! I am so sorry for your losses Going through those weeks waiting for your milestones to pass is so awful at times, I hope we are able to help you through at this board!
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Rachel
Mommy to Alexander, Annabella, & always missing our angel!
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  #13  
May 31st, 2011, 07:30 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,364
Had my second ultrasound today and baby is right on target - HR is 139 and 9.3mm crl. I don't remember measurements from my earlier pregnancies but the doctor said he's growing right on track so far and it is very encouraging to see the progress from one U/S to the next. Of course since both of my losses were late, I'll be worried until i get past 21 weeks, but I'm trying hard to stay positive. Thank you all for the kind words!

Has anyone else had a late miscarriage and/or second trimester loss? How did you pass the time until the 20 week ultrasound wihtout losing your mind?
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  #14  
May 31st, 2011, 08:17 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,057
My losses were early, but I know we have several PAL ladies who had one or more 2nd trimester losses, so hopefully one of them will chime in here!

I just wanted to say CONGRATS on a great 2nd u/s!!!! That is great news
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  #15  
May 31st, 2011, 03:18 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,364
Thanks Shen! Silly question, but I don't see any signatures on the page - do you know how i can add them in? Would love to get to know a little bit more about all of the wonderful women here!
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  #16  
May 31st, 2011, 04:13 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,285
Welcome to the board! And, congratulations on your pregnancy! All of my losses were early losses so the whole positive test stress is one I know too well. I am so happy to hear that your baby has a strong heartbeat! I pray that you will be blessed with your rainbow baby!

Oh and to add a signature, you go to the "User CP" link at the top part of the page and on the left of that screen there will be an "edit your signature" link so you can add a signature.
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