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Gender scan/anatomy scan moan


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
July 20th, 2011, 07:54 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2010
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I guess this is a moan.

Everyone calls this scan the gender scan but I keep thinking about it as the anatomy scan with the gender as a plus. I have so many concerns because of my experience with the nuchal translucency being on the high end of normal. I'm definitely worried about something being wrong anatomically.

So my moan is that everyone in my DDC is all EXCITED to have their "gender" scans and my family is excited about finding out the gender when I'm going into it with more anxiety than excitement.

Anyway... that's what happens when you've been through what we have I guess, huh?
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  #2  
July 20th, 2011, 08:02 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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I was definitely excited to learn the gender, and terrified of the actual anatomy scan. The "what if" part is terrible!!! I always had to have someone with me with any scan...just in case. I didn't get a NT scan either. I would have been a lot more terrified if I had that too.

When is your scan? You will be in my thoughts and prayers that everything will be perfect!
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  #3  
July 20th, 2011, 08:10 AM
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It's August 3rd. So long to wait...
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  #4  
July 20th, 2011, 09:33 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I still dont understand how women call it the "Gender Scan" when it has nothing to do with gender but the "Anatomy". I know its exciting for everyone to find out the gender, but these scans are for checking the well being of the baby, at least IMO....

Like you, gender was the least of my concerncs when I had this scan done, I just wanted to know that he/she was all put together correctly, lol! I also had a higher than average NT with a measurement of 2.3mm (my Peri Dr. freaked me out and said he does not like anything over 1.5!) So my Anatomy scan was feared like yours, so I totally understand. Hang in there, Im sure all will great with your LO and you too can post the big update on GENDER when all your fears are at rest!
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  #5  
July 20th, 2011, 10:14 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I was scared too - but the minute I saw the baby on the ultrasound screen I started crying so hard. I couldn't believe how much in love I fell in with the baby. At that moment I knew that no matter what the outcome I would love this child always.

The most awesomest part is that she is doing great!

Hang in there - It is so hard being pregnant after a loss.
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  #6  
July 20th, 2011, 10:29 AM
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Thanks, ladies! You're so great!
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  #7  
July 20th, 2011, 10:40 AM
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I completely agree with you! My ddc is constantly talking about gender and the gender scans, and I find it quite frustrating. Having found out at my last anatomy scan (with my first loss) that my baby was paralyzed from spina bifida , finding out the gender is the least of my concerns. I am terrified for my appointment, knowing how the last one i had was the worst day of my life.
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  #8  
July 20th, 2011, 02:40 PM
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I asked my ob why he called it the "gender" scan when really why do they (the doctors) care boy or girl. His answer was "A lot of women have anxiety over the anatomy scan since it's the first look at everything all developed. Placing their focus on the gender rather than everything we measure is the goal in calling it that."

I thought that was a very logical reason. I know I started a "gender guess" pool to put in the baby book for all three of mine because the anatomy scans always make me very nervous (my FIL has cleft lip and cleft pallate, as did one of his cousins) so I try to focus on something "fun" instead of the task at hand.

The babies of PAL are all going to be FANTASTIC because we're a great group of women with lots of prayers behind our Beans!!
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  #9  
July 20th, 2011, 04:41 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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I have a love/hate relationship with ultrasounds. And nobody really understands my anxiety about them, and really all I want to know is that the baby is alive, healthy, and not wrapped in the cord. So it kind of annoys me when people are just excited, mostly because I'm jealous I don't get that.
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  #10  
July 20th, 2011, 07:12 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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I can see both sides. Yes we all want healthy babies but we all are excited to know what color to start buying too . I agree the most important factor is the anatomy but understand the excitement of learning if you are having a boy or girl. I have to be honest I didn't worry nearly as much about the 20 weeks u/s with my first two. I took for granted that everything was fine. The thought that something wasn't fine never really entered my mind. I think PAL changes our focus a bit.
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  #11  
July 21st, 2011, 06:28 AM
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Sometime between my 1st and my 2nd I read a blog post from a woman who was upset because at the 20 week ultrasound she found out that something might be wrong with her baby, but no one was asking her, "So, is your baby OK?" They were only asking, "So, boy or girl?"

Since then (even before my loss) I try to ask other women first if baby looks healthy before asking about the sex.

For me, the ultrasound that diagnosed the miscarriage will forever change me so that I'm nervous instead of excited for ultrasounds. I know that I'm going to cry either way for my 7 week ultrasound next week--cry (from relief) if there is a heartbeat, cry if there isn't.
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  #12  
July 21st, 2011, 07:30 AM
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Thanks again, everyone!
I understand trying to focus on the positive but I guess I want the ladies who are naive that they should prepare themselves in case something is wrong. Having this perspective makes me want to prepare them.
Jess, I guess I might also be jealous because I can't just be excited without the worry. I didn't think of it that way.
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  #13  
July 21st, 2011, 11:00 AM
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I can definitely understand both sides. I never was totally carefree about ultrasounds since CL and CP are neural tube defects...I knew that meant there could be a higher chance of them (and more serious ones than CL or CP) even with my first pregnancy.

I do remind people when they say, "When is your ultrasound? Are you finding out the gender?" that we are anxious to see that everythign is fine with the baby, and yes, we're finding out the gender. And I do try to always ask first when someone has an ultrasound if everything measured properly and looked okay.
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“Before you were conceived, I wanted you...
Before you were born, I loved you...
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you...
This is the miracle of love.” -Maureen Mansfield


(6), (3) and a due Dec. 25, 2011 and one up above and forever in our hearts.




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