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Antatomy Scan on Monday...and I'm very emotional


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
July 22nd, 2011, 08:24 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,017
Hey Girls...I need hugs today.

I know I should be over the moon excited about seeing my Bean on Monday morning, but every time I think of it I just get so choked up. I had days this week I got soooo excited and wished I could go for my scan right then. And then I've had days like this...and now that all I have is a weekend to get through I'm kind of a mess.

I don't know why. Maybe because this is all just so real finally, so some tears of relief? Plenty of it is fear over having everything measuring and worrying something won't be right. I have my regular ob appt right afterward and I know my office does that on purpose because the ob will go over all the measurements with us. That part makes me soooo nervous!! So nervous!!!

And the rest of the emotion behind it I don't get. Everyone around me is more and more excited and talking about it more and more...and I kind of have this feeling in the pit of my stomach like I just don't want to go! I guess I'm starting to worry it's a "premonition" of sorts...which I realize is illogical and not realistic or anything.

A part of me wants to fast forward to Tuesday, a part of me wants to rewind some days...What is wrong with me?
Signed,
Emotional Basket Case
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“Before you were conceived, I wanted you...
Before you were born, I loved you...
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you...
This is the miracle of love.” -Maureen Mansfield


(6), (3) and a due Dec. 25, 2011 and one up above and forever in our hearts.




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  #2  
July 22nd, 2011, 08:56 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Posts: 43,573
I think this is just pregnancy after loss. I get so anxious before ultrasounds. Once you've had things go horribly wrong it's hard to just expect them to go right. It's always there in the back of your head, I think.

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  #3  
July 22nd, 2011, 09:47 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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If there is something wrong with you, there is something terribly wrong with me! It is completely natural after going through loss to fear that you will go through it again. It isn't illogical at all. It isn't irrational. It is human nature. You are in my thoughts and prayers. You have all the virtual hugs I can give you right now.
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  #4  
July 22nd, 2011, 09:56 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Big Hugs to you, hope the weekend fly's by and your emotions are happy ones when you report back! Im the say way before all of my scans, I cant rest, I want to rewind, fastforward, you name it!
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  #5  
July 22nd, 2011, 10:48 AM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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I was the same way. Mine got moved up at the last min and that helped some but I was so worried that I wasn't really feeling movement and she wasn't ok and just a mess. I think its totally normal after a loss to worry and be anxious. I can't wait to hear your great update Monday afternoon/evening . Try to enjoy the weekend and not think about it to much. Easier said than done.
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  #6  
July 22nd, 2011, 06:00 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,017
Thank you girls...it's been quite a day inside this head of mine, but I'm hanging in. Did a lot of crafts and stuff with the boys to try and keep my mind off the scan. Thankfully, Bean is bouncing around in there tonight...he/she was quiet last night big time so that hadn't helped. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll have all good things to report to you all come Monday. You'll "hear" from me before that.
__________________
“Before you were conceived, I wanted you...
Before you were born, I loved you...
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you...
This is the miracle of love.” -Maureen Mansfield


(6), (3) and a due Dec. 25, 2011 and one up above and forever in our hearts.




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  #7  
July 22nd, 2011, 06:03 PM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
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I just wanted to say I hope time flies by. I'll be watching for your update
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  #8  
July 22nd, 2011, 06:08 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
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Thank you, Shortcake! That is so sweet of you! I will be sure to update as soon as I get home on Monday. ((HUGS))
__________________
“Before you were conceived, I wanted you...
Before you were born, I loved you...
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you...
This is the miracle of love.” -Maureen Mansfield


(6), (3) and a due Dec. 25, 2011 and one up above and forever in our hearts.




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  #9  
July 22nd, 2011, 06:22 PM
OurSweetLabs's Avatar I LOVE My Boys!!
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(((HUGS)))

Mine is tuesday and I am a Nervous wreck too
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  #10  
July 22nd, 2011, 07:32 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Emotional Basket Case,

When I went in for mine at 18w4d I was petrified for at least a week. The few days before I was having panic attacks and by the day of the scan I couldn't eat. I thought for sure that they were going to give me bad news. I did not want to think that way - after all I got to 18weeks what could go wrong?

I laid on the ultrasound table with a fear that was gripping me. Then I saw the most incredible image on the screen - my baby. And I started crying and couldn't stop. I had to wipe the tears away so I did not miss a second of seeing her on the screen. I knew no matter what that I loved this baby - this sweet little being on the computer, this child growing inside me.

Sorry, I got carried away. What I want to tell you is I understand your fears. ((hugs))
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #11  
July 23rd, 2011, 06:21 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree with the other ladies that it's part of having been through loss. I used to love ultrasounds, until I found out through u/s that my babies heart stopped beating. Now the thought of having an u/s is scaring the crap out of me. It's the same with my betas. I'm scared to death to go back on Monday for another draw, because that's how I found out I was losing 2 of my babies. Your fears are completely normal! I hope that you have a fabulous u/s on Monday!
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  #12  
July 23rd, 2011, 08:31 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,017
Our Sweet Labs...don't worry, you're not alone. I'm thinking we both will come back here with fantastic updates for everyone!

Missy, your post made me cry!

I can't believe it's Sat already...Monday will be here before I know it. I didn't sleep at all last night, but I am trying to just keep saying everything will measure just right and Bean will be fine. I feel him/her kicking around so I know that much is fine...just getting through the measuring!
__________________
“Before you were conceived, I wanted you...
Before you were born, I loved you...
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you...
This is the miracle of love.” -Maureen Mansfield


(6), (3) and a due Dec. 25, 2011 and one up above and forever in our hearts.




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  #13  
July 23rd, 2011, 04:46 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,236
Every single ultrasound I have had so far (except the "surprise one" at 26 weeks because I did not have time to think about it, they just did it at a routine appt), I threw up at least once before it and literally felt ill for days before I went. It was the same thing, I was so excited and literally was counting the hours until that time came. And then two seconds later I was terrified that the baby was not alive anymore or they would tell me bad news.

I found out my first baby died just by a routine sonogram, so it made me soooo flipping paranoid that even now, I might be nervous or throw up if I had one scheduled ahead of time. It is such an emotional time, being pregnant, and then add to it the fact that losses color every second of this experience.

I think what you are thinking and feeling is totally normal. I SOBBED at each and every ultrasound as soon as they popped the image on the screen. And I also told each tech that I needed reassurance immediately when they saw the baby and heartbeat. And they were so good about showing me him right away and telling me the heart was pumping away. Those two things were just what I needed to calm down, cry happy tears, and make it through the rest of the sonogram without being terrified.

I just know we wil hear a wonderful update on Monday. And keep that babe moving around tomorrow, to keep your head sane Lots of sugar and orange juice!! Lol. I am sending you huge hugs
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  #14  
July 24th, 2011, 06:54 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,017
Thank you all of you!! This time tomorrow I'll be sitting in the waiting room! Ugh! Yikes! Eeek! Thankfully baby Bean has been very active all night. I guess at this point, with all the movement, it's just the fear of everything measuring okay...but I'm trying to think positive thoughts. I know I'll ask ASAP about heart rate...and tell whatever she can tell me measurement-wise would be appreciated.

My husband is coming with the boys...which in a way is good 'cause I'll have them all around me. Should anything be wrong I'll have to keep a game face on, which is hard, but I'm always able to be more "strong" when my boys are there.

Cannot wait to be able to update you all tomorrow. Good news or bad, I know I have a great group of ladies behind me for support!!! ((HUGS))
__________________
“Before you were conceived, I wanted you...
Before you were born, I loved you...
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you...
This is the miracle of love.” -Maureen Mansfield


(6), (3) and a due Dec. 25, 2011 and one up above and forever in our hearts.




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  #15  
July 24th, 2011, 07:04 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Less than 24 hours!! Yippppee! I am sure you are nervous and I hope the same thing happens to you as did I - that you walk out of the ultrasound room going "really? I got myself all worked up for this?"

xoxoxoxo

What are you doing today to keep busy?
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #16  
July 24th, 2011, 07:10 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,017
Thank you, Missy! My husband had to work very late Friday and most of yesterday (something that only happens about twice a year), soooo we are going to all go out to lunch together someplace nice and then take the boys to the YMCA water park this afternoon (assuming it's not too awfully hot for me). That will take up most of the day. We invited a couple friend and their 3 boys over for a cookout tonight...burgers and dogs and some summer salads, followed by more swimming in our pool...all to try and keep me very busy!!! Hopefully I'll be so exhausted tonight after 2 nights of no sleep/anxiety that I'll be able to sleep.

In the morning it's all I can do to get out of the house in time...SOOOO, yesterday was the "hard" day as far as my mind being "bored" and thinking too much.

And thank you...I hope I walk out the same way too! Hopefully we'll be stopping on the way home (after hearing good news) to purchase the crib and dresser we picked out last week...and a few pink or blue items, depending.
__________________
“Before you were conceived, I wanted you...
Before you were born, I loved you...
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you...
This is the miracle of love.” -Maureen Mansfield


(6), (3) and a due Dec. 25, 2011 and one up above and forever in our hearts.




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