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After the baby is born...


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
August 11th, 2011, 06:51 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
How long before you go back to work? Are you doing daycare or will a family member take care of the baby?

For you stay at home moms: Will you have someone to help you around the house after the baby is born?


All: Any anticipated long term visitors?
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #2  
August 11th, 2011, 06:59 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,103
Thankfully, I won't have to "go back to work" at any particular time. Julia will take a break from coming every day and come over a couple times a week in my "maternity leave." And then when I am feeling up to it, I will start getting her from school everyday and having her for a few hours in the evening. It is actually good timing with her starting Kindergarden this year. It will be easier regardless.

I will have DH's help for a week or two after the baby is born. He will ask for some paternity leave from his company, which is something his boss can approve or deny at will (small company). But his boss gave him a week with Liam and then he will take any vacation time he has left (prolly around a week). I might get sick of him before that though!

My mom is planning on coming for a week after the baby comes. She will see the birth, then head home to take care of Liam for us until we are released from the hospital. Then she will stay another 5 days or so. She does a bunch of cooking and keeps the house in order while I adjust to breastfeeding and such. My MIL will come about 3-5 weeks after the birth and plans to stay a week to "help." Frankly, it doesn't count as help...but I have to do it anyway. We are planning Liam's second birthday for when she is around because she will be able to help with that at least, since she is terrified of new babies and barely interacts with Liam as it is.
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  #3  
August 11th, 2011, 07:34 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,571
I have to go back to work just after the beginning of the year, when the baby will be about 11-13 weeks old. However, I will start doing some work from home about 6-8 hours per week when the baby is about 6-7 weeks old, hopefully while she is napping.

She will be going to a daycare down the street from us, which we researched thoroughly. The one that we picked does not have a spot open until the end of January or beginning of February, so my dh is planning on taking a couple weeks of paternity leave when I go back to work in January, and then my mom is going to come stay with us for a couple weeks until the daycare spot opens.
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Lucia Jane, born 10.9.11


Forever missing our angel babies
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  #4  
August 11th, 2011, 10:22 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
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I sadly will have to go back to work at about 8-9 weeks. I usually get more but I didn't save as much leave as I normally do. She will go to the same daycare my son goes to now. They are all so excited to meet her . I hate leaving them but I have to go back to work. Silly military contract and all LOL.
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  #5  
August 12th, 2011, 03:31 AM
JesSsica's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: northern Indiana
Posts: 1,233
I went back to work after my divorce and my kids have been in daycare ever since. I got to spend almost four years at home with them so I don't want to work 40 hours with this baby.

In an ideal world I would take my 12 weeks leave and then finish out the summer working Saturday mornings only just to hold my place in the practice. Once school starts I would start working just mornings only.

Of course, because of nature's perfect timing, I was offered a promotion last week with a 15% raise to take over as supervisor-- more stress, long hours, better money. *sigh* Of course I'm pregnant... They are taking me to dinner this Tuesday to discuss the details and they wanted to know what the plan is after baby.

I'm in such a gray area with this pregnancy. I think if I were farther along, farther than my past losses, I would feel more confident making decisions based on this pregnancy. I hate to make a decision based on a pregnancy that is still so fragile. On the flip side, what an honor even though this isn't the time to take on more stress.

*sigh*
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Mom to:
Madison Rey 11-24-2000
Cole Anthony 5-23-2002
Mia Annelise 3-29-2012

^angel^ 10wks, 2 days, D&C 12wks, 3 days 11-2-09
^angel^ 5wks, 5 days 1-2-10
^angel^ 11wks, 1 day 5-22-10 with D&C
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  #6  
August 12th, 2011, 04:24 AM
onedaysoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Montreal
Posts: 3,168
I get 50 weeks paid (Canada) and DH gets 5 weeks paid, so home until the end of that. Then he'll be going to the same daycare that Danica goes to, which is 10 minute walk from home.

My mom will be coming (not sure exactly when yet) and staying for a week or two (again not sure, she's a last minute planner lol).

My MIL lives close, so if I need help I can call her over. When we had Danica she gave us a tonne of homemade freezer food...was a lifesaver sometimes!
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  #7  
August 12th, 2011, 06:16 AM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 5,778
Quote:
Originally Posted by onedaysoon View Post
I get 50 weeks paid (Canada) and DH gets 5 weeks paid, so home until the end of that. Then he'll be going to the same daycare that Danica goes to, which is 10 minute walk from home.

My mom will be coming (not sure exactly when yet) and staying for a week or two (again not sure, she's a last minute planner lol).

My MIL lives close, so if I need help I can call her over. When we had Danica she gave us a tonne of homemade freezer food...was a lifesaver sometimes!
I should move to Canada. Plus I know French.
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  #8  
August 12th, 2011, 06:30 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadeauxe View Post
I should move to Canada. Plus I know French.
I don't know French but am willing to learn to be able to take 50 weeks off from work to be with Scarlett!

This isn't a poor me scenario but I have 2 weeks vacation saved up and that is it. Then I go back to work. I can't take any Family leave act time as I work for a very small company and I am in the top 10%. However the good news is my boss said I can keep her at home until 12 weeks. The boys are going to college local here so hopefully they can help here and there, otherwise during the day I will hire a mommy's helper. And Red will be home at night to love up on his baby girl.
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #9  
August 12th, 2011, 06:30 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,364
I have 10 weeks maternity leave and then DH will take a week or two before the new baby goes to daycare. I honestly love my daycare and prefer it to having my MIL watch my ds (not that she would offer). My mom has been having serious medical issues this year so she can do an occassional date night sitting she can't watch kids full time. I do work from home 2 days a week and i'm hoping to switch that to 4pm so i can have the kids in daycare only 9-5pm and be more available in emergencies. Commuting adds 90 minutes each way to my day so working from home is huge!
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  #10  
August 12th, 2011, 06:36 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
I also live in Canada, so I have 50 weeks combined maternity and parental benefits, plus I've been on sick leave since the middle of May (allowed 15 weeks sickness benefits) so I have a combined 65 weeks off work. I am hoping Chloe will be coming home around the point that I switch over to maternity benefits (early September), and then I will still have the full year with her. I am not sure where she will go when I have to return to work. We are considering a move, but if we stay put, she will go to the same babysitter as Connor.
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  #11  
August 12th, 2011, 06:41 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
I am extremely lucky to not have plans to work when Marsi is born. My parents will most likely be in Europe when she is born so no help there until they get back. I do NOT get along with FIL so I don't care, he won't be "helping". My MIL will do the best she can but she is the sole breadwinner and has to go to work the whole time since she won't have leave. It also depends on where we are when we have her. We might move before she is born. That would throw another huge wrench into the mix. We plan on DH staying home 2 weeks or less and the rest, is me. Heaven help me!
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  #12  
August 12th, 2011, 07:11 AM
onedaysoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Montreal
Posts: 3,168
Quote:
Originally Posted by missy123 View Post
I don't know French but am willing to learn to be able to take 50 weeks off from work to be with Scarlett!
You don't need to speak French to work in Canada (unless you're in Quebec). But, in Quebec daycare is government subsidized so it costs only $7/day per child
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Forever missing our angel November 9, 2010, with us for 9 weeks
~~~




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  #13  
August 12th, 2011, 07:12 AM
OurSweetLabs's Avatar I LOVE My Boys!!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 11,003
I am soo excited to be a stay at home Mom this time.

DH won't have much time to take off, but I am hoping my mom or sister will be able to help some with DS1
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  #14  
August 12th, 2011, 07:28 AM
KeepingFaith's Avatar *~Mom to Faith Marie~*
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,697
I work 2 nights a week (5-9)and ever yother weekend, which blesses me to be able to be a SAHM to them. I will probably go back when he is 8 weeks, he will go to my moms with DD until DH picks them up after he is done working(usually 8pm)
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  #15  
August 12th, 2011, 07:54 AM
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 7,039
With my son I was working full time before I had him, so I got 6 weeks paid maternity leave. With my daughter I was working part time from home when she was born. I want to say I did some work while I was in the hospital. I was supposed to be doing only the essentials for the first month, but wound up doing all my work.

If I continue working after this one, it'll likely be the same as my daughter and I'll be back to doing work right away. It's not as bad as it sounds, because I only work about 1-2 hours a day and from home.
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  #16  
August 12th, 2011, 03:55 PM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,756
I will be able to stay at home with our little girl for about 6 weeks and then I will be able to bring her to work with me. I work 3 days a week doing childcare for a family with 3 boys (a 7 year old, a 5 year old, and a 1 year old). It will be an adjustment, to say the least

Our family is all out of state and will probably come to visit for a few days at some point after baby arrives, but no one long term.
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