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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
August 14th, 2011, 07:41 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Are you done or thinking of more children? If you are thinking of more, does the thought of the possibility of another loss scare you or even put off trying again?
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #2  
August 14th, 2011, 07:45 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,017
We are 97% certain we are done. I leave that 3% open just because I am not getting my tubes tied and he's not getting snipped...soooo...if it's God's plan for us to have more I suppose there is alway that possibility. I do think I will try to find a pill I can tolerate, in the past we've just used NFP and condoms at times we were in the "fertile" zone.

And, there's that part of me that always dreamt of 4. BUT, DH is getting up there (he'll be nearly 48 when Princess T is born) and I'll be 34 when she's born. So, not sure we should have anymore. Though, his parents were both 42 when he was born.
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“Before you were conceived, I wanted you...
Before you were born, I loved you...
Before you were here an hour, I would die for you...
This is the miracle of love.” -Maureen Mansfield


(6), (3) and a due Dec. 25, 2011 and one up above and forever in our hearts.




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  #3  
August 14th, 2011, 07:45 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 11,060
We are absolutely not done. We would like at least one, if not two, more after this baby is born.

The idea of loss DOES scare me. But not enough to not try to have another. I figure that if I want to try again, that is a reality of it. It would break my heart if I let fear get in the way of something we desperately want (more children).
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  #4  
August 14th, 2011, 08:06 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,364
Definitely done. To be honest, if we lost this one at this point we'd probably still be done - as three losses past 12 weeks is about all I can handle. I'm getting older and my dh was hesitant to try this third time, so we agreed upfront that we would give it one more shot but that this was the last one. I just pray every day that this baby is healthy!
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  #5  
August 14th, 2011, 08:11 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,408
If these two babies stick we're done. I pray that they make it. The idea of having DS, DD, and the twins is just perfection to me. If we had unlimited means and I had a body that would cooperate I'd have a houseful. But since there are no visions of winning the lottery I really LOVE the idea of what we've got right now. It actually makes me feel relieved. Then I get scared, because there is still so much that could go wrong with this pregnancy.
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  #6  
August 14th, 2011, 08:28 AM
KeepingFaith's Avatar *~Mom to Faith Marie~*
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,697
We are done after this one. I always wanted two kids and DH agrees. and we will have one girl and one boy so it's perfect!
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1/25/12

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  #7  
August 14th, 2011, 08:36 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 7,039
I think we'll be done after this one. If I lose this one, we'd likely wait a while before trying again, but we probably would try again.

I don't feel comfortable getting anything permanent done to prevent pregnancy until the youngest is five, so I suppose there's plenty of time for surprises or changing our mind before then.
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Mama to a lower elementary school boy, preschool girl, and my miracle baby girl.
Two 10w losses (11/2010 + 8/2011)
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  #8  
August 14th, 2011, 08:37 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,313
Im absolutely done this time. Jerry is going to be 49 this year, just before Selena is born and I will be 41. I want to concentrate on getting my cancer re-checks (scans, MRI's, and possibly putting myself into menapause again). If I were to try again, I would not let the fear of m/c take over, it would be more worry about my over all health at this age. Plus, I would really like a distance in age between my kids and grand kids,lol
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Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

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  #9  
August 14th, 2011, 10:12 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I'd like one more. I've always said that I wanted 5, and with my pregnancies we decided Cora counts, so 4 living. It'd be perfect if we had a boy after Allison.



I haven't let the fear get in the way of trying again yet....it does make me nervous (especially now since I'm hitting my loss point on Friday night/Saturday), but like Ash said, it'd be more heartbreaking to me to let the fear keep me from trying.
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  #10  
August 14th, 2011, 10:43 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,044
Completely done!! I only want two kids no matter what. DH said two is fine for him but so would 3 but I don't want 3 because I feel like one will always feel left out, and no way in HECK could I have 4 kids. So two it is LOL. But since we're young we're not making anything permanent til about 5 more years so I guess anything could technically happen before then, but if it did it wouldn't be on purpose LOL
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Mommy to Alexander, Annabella, & always missing our angel!
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  #11  
August 14th, 2011, 10:58 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
I am done...I just wanted one more baby when we started to try...My doctor told me last week that I shouldn't have any more babies, it's too risky to my health...The fear of loss does play a big part in me being done too.
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  #12  
August 14th, 2011, 11:03 AM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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Location: Washington
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We are done after this. If my body didn't hate being pregnant so much (tons of pain and it gets worse every pregnancy) I would totally have more. I would have lots of babies I love babies! But really I can't emotionally and physically go through another pregnancy. DH doesn't want anymore either. With the age gap between DS and DD#2 (5 years) this will be more like an only child LOL. DH is getting snipped at some point after this pregnancy. Its on him to get it done but I keep reminding him to make the appointment LOL. If for some crazy reason we decided we wanted more I would adopt. I don't see this happening but its still there.
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  #13  
August 14th, 2011, 11:05 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
my DH will hopefully be snipped too....The doctor told me last week that he thinks my DH should do it while i'm still pregnant lol
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  #14  
August 14th, 2011, 12:06 PM
mom2moose
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Posts: n/a
Totally DONE!! I'm old, I wasn't even sure I wanted more than Moose, we'll have one of each, and I despise being pregnant. It's already in my chart that if I have to have a c-section, that they tie my tubes right then. If not, I'll get it done as soon after labor that they'll let me.
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  #15  
August 14th, 2011, 04:44 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,571
We are done. We always talked about having 3 kids, even when we were in high school and dating. And now that we're both getting up there in age, and the fact that this pregnancy has been much more uncomfortable than my previous pregnancies, I'm convinced that we're done even if we did win the lottery or something.
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~Jess~
Mom of 3 awesome girls

Lucia Jane, born 10.9.11


Forever missing our angel babies
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  #16  
August 14th, 2011, 04:54 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 744
Done done and done. I am 40 and feel as though I have put myself on hold for the last few years as we went through the losses. I am ready to move forward and grow with our new family and move past the baby stage. I love babies, but someone else can have them
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  #17  
August 14th, 2011, 07:05 PM
OurSweetLabs's Avatar I LOVE My Boys!!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 11,003
My Family doesn't feel complete to me,, but I am more afraid of how early this one will come and how hard this pregnancy has been on me.

I really don't know.
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Proud Host of Cesarean Section Birth and Co Host of Blinkies R Us and the December 11 PR

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  #18  
August 14th, 2011, 07:51 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
Since this could be our first baby, we are pretty sure that we are not done having biological children. We really would like to adopt and how hard this pregnancy has been on me we will really need to decide if we want to adopt or try for another biological child.

I do feel really, really sad when I think that this could be my last pregnancy so I think we will try for at least one more biological.
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  #19  
August 14th, 2011, 09:12 PM
dreamer10's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Utah
Posts: 2,084
We are done. No more needs to be said on this matter!
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The adventures of raising a big family....Life, love and family in the Sock Bin! www.thesockbin.blogspot.com

Our rainbow baby Brynlee Sue was born August 17th after four heartbreaking loses! Life is an amazing journey. Hang on, keep your faith and try to always move forward!
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  #20  
August 15th, 2011, 12:22 AM
Libby22's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 4,146
Im not sure. I really hate being pregnant I cant enjoy it I worry all the time. maybe in 5 or 7 years.
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