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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
August 31st, 2011, 10:04 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
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Some of you know this part of my story, so please bare with me if you do. Last summer I got pregnant and was due April 12th. I wound up losing the heartbeat at 9 weeks and needed a D&C at 11 weeks. 3 of my coworkers were also pregnant. One was due 2 days before me, one was due 2 days after me, and one was due 2 weeks after me. Every day was sheer hell watching them grow and us not being able to conceive. Two of them gave birth the day I went for my initial RE appt. I have no idea how I made it thorough that without jumping off the roof, other than by the grace of God. So fast forward to today. I get a text from one of my coworkers/friends that she's pregnant. She's due either the end of April/beginning of May. I'm happy for her, because she got pregnant last school year and was due in October, but lost the baby at about 7 weeks. I am petrified for me! Things have been going well for me with this pregnancy. I had 4 ultrasounds in 4 weeks and both babies have looked great and had strong heartbeats, but they're having me wait 3 weeks for the next one. I'm one week in with two left to go, and the worries are already starting. Now with her pregnant I'm even more worried. What if I lose these babies and I have to go through this again- watching some one else grow every day? I know I'm borrowing trouble, and I've really been trying not to do that. But last school year was incredibly horrible, and I have absolutely no desire to go through that again. I'm praying that both of us get to have healthy babies!
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  #2  
August 31st, 2011, 10:19 AM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
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People are always pregnant around you, just just don't notice until you're not. It seemed like every actress in Hollywood was announcing their pregnancies after my loss.

I would try to focus on the positive correlations that you've previously mentioned, such as seeing the heartbeats after a certain point and how you've been more optimistic (?) this time around, and not worry about your co-worker or any other what ifs.

A person could really drive themselves nuts if they thought about every negative thing that could befall them at any given moment..like a toilet falling out of the sky and landing on your foot, causing you to break all of your bones and then your car breaks down on the way to the hospital, so by the time you get there (via ice cream truck), you foot has to be amputated and they find a foot donor replacement, but it's a penguin flipper. THAT would suck. Half waddling, half walking everywhere. Not to mention the sudden desire to eat nothing but herrings. I'd say you're having a pretty good day.
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  #3  
August 31st, 2011, 10:23 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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Prayers are going out to you and your babies.
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  #4  
August 31st, 2011, 10:24 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadeauxe View Post
People are always pregnant around you, just just don't notice until you're not. It seemed like every actress in Hollywood was announcing their pregnancies after my loss.

I would try to focus on the positive correlations that you've previously mentioned, such as seeing the heartbeats after a certain point and how you've been more optimistic (?) this time around, and not worry about your co-worker or any other what ifs.

A person could really drive themselves nuts if they thought about every negative thing that could befall them at any given moment..like a toilet falling out of the sky and landing on your foot, causing you to break all of your bones and then your car breaks down on the way to the hospital, so by the time you get there (via ice cream truck), you foot has to be amputated and they find a foot donor replacement, but it's a penguin flipper. THAT would suck. Half waddling, half walking everywhere. Not to mention the sudden desire to eat nothing but herrings. I'd say you're having a pretty good day.
Thank you! I needed that! When you put it that way, I'm in good shape!
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  #5  
August 31st, 2011, 11:30 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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LOL, I like Courtney's anology of the situation!

Honetly though, these are the milestones that all of us through PAL go through every day......they suck, and I wish there was a fast forward button for all of us, but this is the worst part......it will get better. Every day brings you closer to holding BOTH your babies, and someone else is watching you grow and blossom!
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  #6  
August 31st, 2011, 12:38 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Courtney - you seriously make me laugh all the time!

Just take it day by day sweetie. That is all we can do... I got to week 8 then not even another doctors appointment until week 14 due to insurance reasons. Can you beg your doctor for an appointment 1 week earlier? Or have you thought of getting a heartbeat monitor? I sometimes found the heartbeat at 9 weeks and honestly there were times where it helped me from crawling out of my skin with worry.

Even now sometimes I listen to her even though I feel her move.
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  #7  
August 31st, 2011, 12:56 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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I am so sorry you are going through this. I had co workers pregnant with my second loss. Thankfully not with my first. But it was so very hard. With this pregnancy there were people pregnant and getting pregnant. But look here I am so very big and ready for baby girl to arrive. And at this moment hungry LOL. Try not to let your mind go that way. I like what Courtney said . You are doing great, you have two great heartbeats, your dr/RE is happy. Focus on how good its going and don't worry about this coworker. The first trimester is the worst. And you are almost through it.
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  #8  
August 31st, 2011, 01:03 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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I would feel the same way as you, it's hard not to think of it! *hugs*
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  #9  
August 31st, 2011, 01:47 PM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. I would try to stay focused on the positive and that all looks really great in your pregnancy. Courtney had a great way to look at. Made me laugh out loud.. Sending you lots of Hugs.
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  #10  
August 31st, 2011, 01:51 PM
*SamF*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have had so many people get pregnant not only since I started TTC this time, but people who got pregnant around the same time I did with my losses and they have gone on to give birth already (except the twins, the one who got pregnant at the same time is still pregnant)
But you just have to positive about THIS pregnancy and believe that your babies will be perfect!
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  #11  
August 31st, 2011, 02:02 PM
babyandbriana's Avatar Veteran
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Awww honey... I am so sorry.

That's why we're all here... just let the worries go and we'll hold you for a while.
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  #12  
August 31st, 2011, 02:09 PM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
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((HUGS)) And I wanted to say Courtney I love how you put it
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  #13  
August 31st, 2011, 03:17 PM
TnPhotoMama81's Avatar Wife/Mommy/Photographer
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I have the same type of thoughts sometimes...it is hard not to when u have experienced losses.

I hope we both make it to the end with happy and healthy babies!
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  #14  
August 31st, 2011, 05:49 PM
KeepingFaith's Avatar *~Mom to Faith Marie~*
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All these ladies have given you good advice and support so I'll just add some more
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