Log In Sign Up

Not trying to stir up a religious debate.....


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
August 31st, 2011, 10:31 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
My poor DH... He really wants Scarlett to be baptized Catholic. It is so important to him and his brother for many personal reasons. I was baptized Catholic but am divorced so he is having a hard time finding a church to baptize her. As his brother is a redound theologian and scholar by trade they are trying to find a way around this.

It makes me sad that he is having to go through all of this just to have her baptized Catholic. I know that god loves us and would not ever turn Scarlett away from him just because I am divorced.

On a cool side note: My mom kept my baptism outfit from when I was a newborn. As this is my first girl, she sent it to me last week for her to wear. I think that is pretty awesome!



__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.




Last edited by missy123; August 31st, 2011 at 10:38 AM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
August 31st, 2011, 10:42 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,308
I don't understand why the church wouldn't let you baptize her. I really hope that you can find a way around this.

BTW, my mom kept my blessing dress (in my church babies are blessed not baptized) and she passed it down to me a few weeks ago. It is wonderful that Moms would do that for us!
__________________


Thank you PrincessMom08 for my beautiful siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #3  
August 31st, 2011, 10:43 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,408
The Catholic church's view on this (and many other things) is a sore spot for me. I'm so sorry you have to deal with it. I was baptized and raised Catholic. My mom was married at 19 and divorced by 20 so the church has given her a hard time with lots of things. They've told her more times than I care to count, since the 80's, they'll annul her marriage for x amount of dollars even though there are no real grounds for annulment. They are just interested in the money. I don't think they gave her any problems getting us baptized though. I know the priest at the church I belong to gave me trouble baptizing DS. I've kind of pulled away from the Catholic church because of the whole sex abuse scandal. I find their handling of it reprehensible, and am thinking about switching religions. It's hard though, because I worry about what my grandmother (who's been dead sine 1993) would think. Anyway, when DS was baptized the priest said, "Oh you don't attend very often. I really shouldn't do this. But as long as you're not Jehovah's Witness I will." Ummm really?!? I hope you're able to find someone that will baptize her. It shouldn't matter that you're divorced (at least in my mind). Baptism isn't about the parents, it's about the babies.
__________________



Thank you Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!


Reply With Quote
  #4  
August 31st, 2011, 11:41 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,262
Hmmm, this is something I have not heard of either. All of my kids were baptised catholic, but then again they were born into my first marriage. I have not had Mia baptised yet, and just assumed catholic would be my choice again. I will look into my church requirements and take it from there. Im not catholic, so since they still allowed me to baptise my children catholic, I would think my second marriage should not be a problem, but who knows now! Jerry is catholic and so was my ex, maybe thats why?

If this means so much to Mike, just let him figure it out.....Im sure all will end well and your little girl will get her day in church like everyone else!
__________________
Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

Reply With Quote
  #5  
August 31st, 2011, 12:33 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
He is working on it... mostly grumbling cursings and something about rules and organized religion.
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



Reply With Quote
  #6  
August 31st, 2011, 12:42 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,262
Quote:
Originally Posted by missy123 View Post
He is working on it... mostly grumbling cursings and something about rules and organized religion.
LOL, if it comes down to all that when I look into Mia's baptism....I will just baptise her Baptist, its my religion of choice anyway. But since all my kids are catholic and I do believe in the catholic religion myself, I would prefer this. But Im not about to dish out a couple of grand like my brother did just to get my first marriage removed from their books. How obserd! I paid my attorney enough money, lol.....(still paying actually, 3.5yrs later!)
__________________
Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

Reply With Quote
  #7  
August 31st, 2011, 01:00 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
Send a message via MSN to JessP Send a message via Yahoo to JessP
That is just silly . I just don't understand Catholic religion very well to be honest. I would think that Mike could have her baptized no problem if he is Catholic regardless of what happened with you. I hope he gets something worked out, sounds like its very important for you guys.

On a good note that is very sweet of your mom and very pretty .
__________________

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie
http://skinny-jessi.blogspot.com/


Reply With Quote
  #8  
August 31st, 2011, 01:13 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 6,095
Catholic rules are silly if you ask me. I hope he can work it out.


How have you and your mom been? I know awhile back you had shut her off, was this a surprise in the mail or did you expect it
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #9  
August 31st, 2011, 01:31 PM
Cheshire's Avatar Mommy to three beauties!
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,227
I was baptized Catholic and things like that are why DH and I decided to move to Methodist. DH has been divorced, my parents weren't very religious, it's just a better fit for us. I'm sorry you're having to jump through hoops

That's so great that you can baptize Scarlett in your own outfit!!!
__________________





Reply With Quote
  #10  
August 31st, 2011, 01:46 PM
babyandbriana's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 198
I LOVE your baptism dress!!!

In my family we have an heirloom Christening gown that's made out of extra material from my mom's wedding gown. I'd originally planned on using that... but I may cut up my wedding gown and use it instead... I want SOMETHING good to come out of that dress

I actually belong to the same church as Rachel, and in our faith, babies are given a special blessing instead of a baptism. Baptism in our faith is a choice that you make when you're older.

Honestly, I grew up in a VERY Catholic small town. Well, it was 48% Catholic, 48% Lutheran and 4% other... I was an "other". There are some things that the Catholic church does that I don't agree with. Other things make sense... but some things are difficult. I think if you can find a more progressive priest (they DO exist) you have a better chance of having her baptized in the church, if that's what your husband wants to do.

Good luck, no matter what!
__________________

Thanks to tasha_mae for my BEAUTIFUL siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #11  
August 31st, 2011, 02:14 PM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,035
Missy I hope it all gets worked out! In the end as long as your all healthy and happy that's all that matters.
__________________

My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11


Want a siggy in a hurry? Check out my Siggy Express Lane
My blog


Reply With Quote
  #12  
August 31st, 2011, 02:59 PM
TnPhotoMama81's Avatar Wife/Mommy/Photographer
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oneida, TN
Posts: 8,355
Send a message via AIM to TnPhotoMama81 Send a message via Yahoo to TnPhotoMama81
That is so cute she will be baptized in your outfit
__________________


My Photography Website Pinterest My Etsy Shop
Reply With Quote
  #13  
August 31st, 2011, 05:15 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,364
LOVE the outfit, and it's so special that she will be Baptized in your outfit.

As for the Catholic rules, I don't know much to add, but i do think it should be all about the baby and not what his/her parents have done. (not that there is anything wrong with divorce).
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #14  
August 31st, 2011, 05:23 PM
KaiyaRae'sMomma's Avatar Forever missing Kaiya Rae
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 2,840
I was baptized and raised Catholic, but I didn't really attend much after HS. DH and I started attending church together when we were dating, at the Lutheran Church his family had been going to since he was a kid. We were married int he Lutheran church, and we now attend regularly and are very active in our church here in OH (also Lutheran). Kaiya was baptized and burried at our church. We call Lutheran "Catholic Light" because it is so much like being Catholic but with out the silly rules!
__________________



Thank you Alethia for my siggy!


Read my blog: www.grievingmomma.wordpress.com
Reply With Quote
  #15  
August 31st, 2011, 06:28 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,524
I am so sorry that you're having such a rough time with this. It seems so unfair.

I'm in the same church as Rachel and Bri. My mother actually saved my blessing dress. It was made from the lace of the table cloths from her wedding reception, which she still had. Unfortunately the lace has yellowed badly and really unevenly so I wasn't able to use it.

Erin's dress was made from the extra fabric from my wedding dress and my actual veil, and my mom crocheted one from Allison. I fully plan on keeping them for them to use for their daughters when the time comes. It's such a beautiful idea.
__________________
Thanks to Vicki... for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


Reply With Quote
  #16  
September 1st, 2011, 04:20 AM
onedaysoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Montreal
Posts: 3,168
Love the dress Missy! I love traditions like that. Mine was one that has been used in my Mom's humongous family...so no one is even sure where it is anymore.

As for the baptism deal, there really shouldn't be a problem. I'm Catholic and DH is not (we married in a Catholic church). I've known children to be baptised Catholic who didn't have a father (unknown), who had divorced parents and parent's unwed. Sometimes it just depends on the priest that the heads the church you're talking to. And Danica has a non-Catholic godmother.

Good luck!
__________________

Forever missing our angel November 9, 2010, with us for 9 weeks
~~~




Reply With Quote
  #17  
September 1st, 2011, 10:02 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
Well this may sound weird, but I am actually Mormon and I habe been since the age of 11, but my dad and his wife are Catholic and my mom is Prodestant. With my first marriage (he was Catholic too) we baptized both kids Catholic even though I was not Catholic. I just had to attend a class and what not and then we blessed them in the Prodestant church. That way all of our families would leave us alone.

In our church though we do not believe in Baptism until the age of 8 (long reason why, no point in going into it) and my son was baptized into my faith at the age of 8, and my daughter just turned 8 so she will be getting baptized soon. Our church has no reasoning not to baptize someone unless they do not believe in Jesus or in our religion.

I just cannot understand why they would risk someone's salvation over money. How sad. I hope it all works out for you Missy. Beautiful dress btw.
__________________

Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #18  
September 1st, 2011, 12:38 PM
hearts.0nfire's Avatar STPR lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 11,046
I'm sorry they are giving you problems with it Missy. I'm worried about getting that done too. I'm Catholic but my husband isn't and I haven't gotten to go to church since having Darcy. I was hoping to do it this winter with both girls so we get it all done at once. I'll have to try and go up there this weekend to find out the rules. I hope it works out for you and also I love the dress!
__________________

Reply With Quote
  #19  
September 2nd, 2011, 02:37 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: The Heart of Rural England
Posts: 1,310
Quote:
Originally Posted by missy123 View Post
My poor DH... He really wants Scarlett to be baptized Catholic. It is so important to him and his brother for many personal reasons. I was baptized Catholic but am divorced so he is having a hard time finding a church to baptize her. As his brother is a redound theologian and scholar by trade they are trying to find a way around this.

It makes me sad that he is having to go through all of this just to have her baptized Catholic. I know that god loves us and would not ever turn Scarlett away from him just because I am divorced.

On a cool side note: My mom kept my baptism outfit from when I was a newborn. As this is my first girl, she sent it to me last week for her to wear. I think that is pretty awesome!



The highlighted words just really stand out to me. I find it so harsh that God loves you and forgives you, yet your catholic faith will not forgive and not only is punishing you, but now is punishing your baby! What kind of church does that? I wonder what God really thinks of the catholic faith.

You shouldnt have to find a way around the Catholics rules just for your baby. I won't go into my sins but I'm sure I would have been banished from a catholic church but my church has accepted me without judgement and they are like family. I don't have to tell a preist my sins but rather go straight to God for prayer and forgiveness. No disrespect because religion is a personal choice but I find it upsetting to deny an innocent baby what God would give her if He were here in person.

I hope things work out for you hun
__________________
Thank you Claire1979 for my beautiful siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #20  
September 2nd, 2011, 04:44 AM
StaceygirlPa's Avatar Waiting for our Miracle.
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Clarence, Pa
Posts: 5,106
Send a message via AIM to StaceygirlPa
I love the dress. I am sorry you and Mike are having such hard time getting her baptized Catholic.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:18 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0