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Naming Troubles...


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  #1  
September 12th, 2011, 01:34 PM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So, MONTHS ago, my DH and I narrowed down the name list for our little girl to 2 names: Evelyn Rose (Evvy) or Eleanor Rose (Nora). This was really at my pushing because I just wanted to name our baby girl and call her by her name.

DH's favorite was Evelyn, so I started trying to think of her as Evelyn or Evvy, and I just got a really anxious feeling, which I interpreted as me thinking it wasn't the right name. So I convinced DH that we should name her Eleanor, and he was/is totally on board with it. But now, I am having a hard time getting myself to call her Eleanor or Nora, and I just call her the baby all the time. My DH will call her by name, and I just really don't do it. I was feeling weird enough about it that the name Josephine Cate (Josie) popped into my head and I have spent a couple days trying to get my DH to like it.

Part of me wants to think that my weirdness about using these names is because they aren't the right names for our baby girl. But I really think that it is some kind of emotional block that I am having with naming her at all. I'm not sure what it's about- maybe I have fooled myself into feeling happy and comfortable all this time but deep down I never really believed I would get to have my little girl????

Has anyone else had any weirdness like this with naming?
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  #2  
September 12th, 2011, 01:52 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Reading the first half of your post I was thinking the same conclusion you came to. It's hard because naming means real attachment. Yes, part of me did feel this way all 3 times. I had a hard time allowing myself to get attached. And then I decided that if the worst happened, I'd be just as devastated if I didn't allow myself to get attached as if I did, so I should let myself so as to avoid feeling guilty.

I hope you can work through it. You're definitely not alone though.
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  #3  
September 12th, 2011, 01:58 PM
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I was weird about her name. I didn't use it or let anyone call her that until after she was born. I have always felt weird about my name too though. It feels like an arbitrary label. Only lately have I been instinctively calling her by her name instead of "baby" but I still call her baby a lot too

My advice is not to overthink it. You can also wait until she is here to make your final decision, unless you are obsessed with monograms or something sometimes people "just know" onve they have aeen the baby's face. Although my nephew did not have a name for awhile because they couldn't agree... That was just for the middle name though.
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  #4  
September 12th, 2011, 02:36 PM
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Nicole - I could have written your post (changing the names of course)! It is so on target with how i feel.

IRL we will keep the names private until the birth, but we've gone back and forth with each other so many times. Nicknames are a huge part of the debate as the first name we decided on - Natalie Ella - has no good nicknames. The second is Samantha Naomi (naomi was dh's grandmother) but it also just doesn't feel perfect and i want the name to just strike me as THE NAME like it did with Max. I don't even really care about the middle names, as they get sidelined after the first couple of months anyway, but i want the name we chose to be perfect and i just feel like we haven't gotten there yet. But i also want it to be settled so the whole pregnancy feels real. So frustrating.
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  #5  
September 12th, 2011, 02:51 PM
markswife's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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DH and I had a top 5 list of names that we liked and we didn't like the same ones. I just couldn't settle on a name that I liked so we decided to just wait until she got her to name her. I was about halfway through labor when DH pipes up that he thinks we should name our daughter before she gets here. I somehow manage to mumble that I really liked the name Natalie. DH said he did too so Natalie it was. It cracks me up that we spent months discussing this at length and the actual decision was made in about 30 seconds.

As for nicknames, I like that there isn't some universally accepted nickname for Natalie. We call her Nat or Nattie occasionally but I'm not terribly attached to either one.
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  #6  
September 12th, 2011, 03:00 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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We have decided on a name but I have had a hard time using it or sharing it. I think part of it has to do with I don't want people's opinions on her name because its a more popular name right now. I love her name and won't change it but for some reason when I talk to others outside DH I refer to her as baby girl. I don't say her name. Perhaps I am afraid it will jinx something I don't' know. I have never had this problem before. Some people have to see baby before a name really fits.
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  #7  
September 12th, 2011, 04:29 PM
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I had a really hard time getting a name pinned down for DD too.

That is one of the things I am dreading this time too.
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  #8  
September 12th, 2011, 04:37 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by markswife View Post
It cracks me up that we spent months discussing this at length and the actual decision was made in about 30 seconds.
That happened with my youngest son! We talked about names through the whole pregnancy and honestly nothing clicked or felt right.

About 5 minutes after he was born my ex said I like the name Kyle. I said I love it and since my dad was here during the delivery we will give him my dad's middle name as well. It took about 20 seconds to name him and his name fits him perfectly.

Don't let it stress you out - you will just know when it is the right name.
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  #9  
September 12th, 2011, 05:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by markswife View Post
As for nicknames, I like that there isn't some universally accepted nickname for Natalie. We call her Nat or Nattie occasionally but I'm not terribly attached to either one.
Funny that you used the same name that is topping our current list. I'm 99% sure we are going to end up with Natalie but i just don't love Nat or Nattie. I'm not sure why, but they just don't fit for me. I'd be 100% sold if we could find a nickname we loved or if we could be reasonably sure that people would stick to using her full name, but i know three syllable names often get shortened. Do you find people automatically call her nick names or do most people stick to Natalie?
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  #10  
September 12th, 2011, 05:24 PM
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Nicole I wouldn't stress to much about it. When she comes a name might just come to you both or a name you already have might just "fit".
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  #11  
September 12th, 2011, 07:36 PM
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I have a hard time calling a baby by name before he/she is born. Even though we're 99% sure of our name this time, it doesn't feel comfortable for me to use it and I've had some of the same doubts as you. With our second daughter, we weren't 100% sure of her name until she was in our arms, and I have a feeling that the name will feel "right" for this one once she is in our arms. Anyway, I think your feelings are pretty normal for some people before the baby actually comes.
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  #12  
September 12th, 2011, 08:06 PM
Cheshire's Avatar Mommy to three beauties!
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We chose our names quickly with this one (both a boy and a girl name until we knew which we were having). I felt guilty that because our loss had been an unplanned and poorly-timed baby, I didn't spend as much time bonding before we found out Baby was gone...so I'm the opposite of everyone, I want to bond because if something happens, I want to feel like I did my best with that time. For me, when I'm hesitant to call the baby by a name, it's because the name feels wrong to me but what everyone is saying makes a lot more sense than my specific situation!
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  #13  
September 12th, 2011, 08:06 PM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks, everyone I think for me there is something more going on than not being sure... first I was completely in love with Evelyn, and as soon as I convinced DH I freaked out, and then the same thing happened with Eleanor. I am sure it will work out over time, and she will get a name at some point

Beccabee, I think Natalie is a really cute name, and if you choose it, whatever you end up calling her will come naturally.
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