Log In Sign Up

Starting to panic...(good update in 1st post)


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
September 18th, 2011, 06:52 PM
fromustobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 8,577
I was amazingly calm the first week...but over the last few days, I've been getting more and more anxious...

Yesterday, I took one of those detect5 tests (a pee stick that shows you quantitative numbers as to what your HCG is)...and I was expecting the 2000 HCG line to pop up, and it didnt...I didnt freak out too much cause I MIGHT have taken it a bit early (my HCG had been doubling super fast and was 882 on Thursday, so I thought it would be 2000 by Saturday)...so, I tried to chill out, but bad stuff was starting to creep into my mind...

Then today, the line again didnt show up...its now 72 hours since I had an 882HCG, there is no way that it shouldnt be showing up yet...and, on top of that, my one sign - sore BBs are definitely not as sore as they were a few days ago (sore BBs going away was my ONLY sign that something was wrong when we lost the baby last time)...so now I'm completely freaking out, a crying/panicking mess...

What is messing me up so much is that I had no signs of my loss (except BBs werent as sore, but that may have just been in my mind), I just went in for an U/S and the baby was gone...and I'm completely terrified of having that happen again...I dont know where to turn...I dont want to express this in my DDC, cause I dont want to scare them...I'm not really TTCAL any more...

I'm just so scared...I told myself that I would steel myself up and not "care" about this baby until I got past the date of my previous loss (9 weeks)...but I cant...and at this point, I'm so scared that I'm going to be feeling that heartbreak again very soon...and I'm already mourning it

I'm anxious anyway, but this is really bad...

**UPDATE** - Nurse called and my levels are over 5000...they didnt even bother diluting it again to get a more accurate number cause the level was so high...OMG, I cant even describe how relieved I am...of course, I start bawling on the phone, so the nurse is crying with me...what a hormonal mess I am!!
__________________
THANK YOU Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie
3

Last edited by fromustobaby; September 19th, 2011 at 12:20 PM.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
September 18th, 2011, 06:59 PM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,965
Send a message via Yahoo to lindsey2000k
Its so hard to not over think everything.
My boob soreness keeps coming and going. I will start to think humm they are not as sore then later that day I am holding them they hurt so bad.
I dont know if I would trust those tests 100% because you might not have had strong urine for that test.

I hope we are both just making this stuff up in our heads and everything will be fine.
__________________




http://lindseysphotography.com/
Reply With Quote
  #3  
September 18th, 2011, 07:03 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,411
Im so sorry that this test has you this worried. Thank god we dont have any test like that here, or Im sure I would of been the same way. Just remember, that its still based on how diluted your urine is, what you ate recently and all that jazz. Blood tests realy are the only reliable ones at this point.

Its also understandable to feel like your mourning the loss that might happen. This is the biggest part of PAL. We mourn until we have passed the milestones, and then were just a nervous reck until their in our arms. Try and stay calm, when are seeing the doc again?
__________________
Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

Reply With Quote
  #4  
September 18th, 2011, 07:09 PM
fromustobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 8,577
I'm thinking of lying to the RE and saying that I had bleeding to get another bloodtest...I hate lying but the panic is way worse to me...

if I could get one and see that the numbers were still doing ok, then I wouldnt take another of those Detect5 tests...but right now, with not seeing the line for 2 days now, I am just resigning myself to the worst...and, the scary part about that is that I'm not even at the point where we lost the baby, I still have 4 more weeks to completely stress out till I get past that milestone...

I hate this...
__________________
THANK YOU Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie
3
Reply With Quote
  #5  
September 18th, 2011, 07:10 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I agree with Lori. Plus those tests are so new out on the market that I don't know how much I trust their reliability. When are your next betas?

With this pregnancy I would have days where it seemed my symptoms went away and I felt good. I would panic and have chest pains thinking the worst.

I guess this is the way PAL is. Sad but true. ((hugs))
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



Reply With Quote
  #6  
September 18th, 2011, 07:18 PM
fromustobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 8,577
I dont have any more scheduled...I had 4 already...but, I can lie and say I'm bleeding and get one more - I think...

Missy-
Last time around, I was really worried, but then when I lost the symptoms, I said that it would be fine cause it happens...but, the baby actually died, so now I put a lot into lost symptoms now...so,, panic is just overwhelming me...
__________________
THANK YOU Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie
3
Reply With Quote
  #7  
September 18th, 2011, 07:21 PM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,408
I'm sorry this test has you so worried. I wonder how accurate they really are. I wouldn't trust them too much since they are new to the market, but I would still be freaking too. I can tell you that my symptoms with this pregnancy have been so come and go. It has made me so scared at times, especially since there are two babies. I hope that everything is perfect with your numbers!
__________________



Thank you Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!


Reply With Quote
  #8  
September 18th, 2011, 07:24 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I doubt you even have to lie at all. RE's are used to dealing with us. They are used to high risk pregnancies and high risk TTC girls. I would call first thing in the am and tell them you are very concerned, that your symptoms just seem to be leaving ect.... And truth be told the fertility industry is big business and a cash cow. They love people like us to keep going in and having repeat testing - more dollars in their pocket.

((hugs)) Your pregnancy is very special to me and I am praying for you.
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



Reply With Quote
  #9  
September 18th, 2011, 08:00 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
HUGS

I know it's impossible not to worry...you're levels are a lot higher than mine (i think i'm around 100 today) but I thought this might give you some comfort:

HCG Weeks

Quote:
Look most closely at the progression: during the huge majority of early pregnancies (80-90%), the level will double every couple of days, or 72 hours. As your pregnancy progresses, levels rise and that doubling time increases. The expected doubling time for HCG levels:
Under 1200 mIU/ml: 48-72 hours.
Between 1200 to 6000 mIU/ml: 72-96 hours.
Over 6000 mIU/ml: more than 96 hours
If you're already over 1200, it sounds like up to 96 hours to double is well within normal. Even in the less than 1200 group it's 48-72 hours, so expecting it to double every 48 hours precisely would put it on the very fast end of the scale. If you recast your numbers with initially 72 hour to double from mid 800s to 1700...and then 96 hours to double above 2000 is that a possible scenario as to why you're not above 2000 on the test today?

I bought the same tests...and they're neat but I'll ditto Missy that I'm sure they're not as accurate as blood draws so try not to worry yourself crazy over a single result. HUGS
__________________
Lara

Savannah Stylin!





Remembered Forever with Love
10/13/2008 (@9w2d) 10/18/2011 (@8w5d) 2/12/2012 (@4w3d) 8/13/2012 (@10w3d)
Reply With Quote
  #10  
September 18th, 2011, 08:15 PM
fromustobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 8,577
trying...thanks girls...
__________________
THANK YOU Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie
3
Reply With Quote
  #11  
September 18th, 2011, 08:53 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,411
At this point, you could see a gestational sac.......if you want to "lie" about the spotting, so be it. I would too, just to put my worry to rest for a bit. I think an u/s at this point would be more worth your troubles.......If you had already 4 beta tests done, then I'd skip another anxiety attack and go straight for u/s. It will be so much more reasuring to see the sac in the right place then to wonder if the betas are doubeling to standard pregancy text book betas.
__________________
Thank you Shortcake for my beautiful siggy..]

Momma of 8 beautiful children now. Most recent is Jerry Jr. born 11/19/12 at 37wk, 7lbs 6oz and 19.5inches and Baby Reymundo born 10/7/13 at 35w6d, 6lbs 7oz, 19.5 inches. Momma of 5 angels. New siggy to come!

Reply With Quote
  #12  
September 18th, 2011, 09:24 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Washington
Posts: 22,034
Send a message via MSN to JessP Send a message via Yahoo to JessP
So sorry you are so worried. It is a sad but normal part of PAL. You aren't quiet 5 weeks so fairly common for the symptoms to come and go as the hormone levels rise. They are surging through your system but not too high yet. I also agree with Missy you probably wouldn't have to lie to get more testing. I flat out told my dr that I wanted an u/s because I was having nightmares and panic attacks and I was able to get one and I don't even see an RE. I was also 10 weeks. I hope you can get seen or more testing to put your mind at ease.

__________________

Thanks .:Shortcake:. for my great siggie
http://skinny-jessi.blogspot.com/


Reply With Quote
  #13  
September 19th, 2011, 08:43 AM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 5,756
It really sucks that there is not much to ease your mind during really early pregnancy. Hopefully you can get another beta done if you think that will help, but keep in mind that a doubling time of 72-96 hours can be totally normal at this point. Sometimes I think betas cause more worry than anything I agree with Lori that an u/s, maybe one late this week and one late next week, will be most reassuring.

My loss was also a missed m/c discovered at 12 weeks, and it is really hard to convince yourself that everything is okay. Especially when it seems like none of the positive information you get necessarily means anything. I hope your bean is growing right on track!
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #14  
September 19th, 2011, 11:33 AM
fromustobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 8,577
Nicole-
My loss was a missed miscarriage also...no clue that anything was wrong until the U/S...but it was earlier, at 9 weeks (they think the baby died either that day or the day before cause it was measuring perfectly)...so, I'm going to be a mess until I can get safely through the ninth week...

Anxiety is not good today, I'm trying, I really am, but its not working at all...
Had playgroup and I was just in my own little world...if anyone spoke to me, I'd practically break down in tears...fun (they dont know I'm pregnant)...
Finally talked to the nurse and didnt bother lying cause I was such a wreck she could tell that I needed something, so she had no problem with me coming in for another blood draw...

Broke down completely in the blood lab, poor Kaiden was trying to comfort me, he had no idea what was going on...

Now just waiting for the call, and panicking...
Kaiden is down for a nap so I'm going to try to sleep so that hopefully the time passes quickly...
__________________
THANK YOU Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie
3
Reply With Quote
  #15  
September 19th, 2011, 11:48 AM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 5,820
I hope all is well. I suck at comforting words. I'm glad you got a blood test, because I wouldn't trust an over the counter hcg thing. I would treat those as novelties, like whoopie cusions.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
September 19th, 2011, 12:21 PM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 14,353
Tonya I'm so glad that you got more bloodwork. Hopefully that will help ease your fears until you can get past 9 weeks. I wish we could just blink our eyes and be through this difficult time of our preg. The same thing happened to me that happened to you. We were just going in for a routine check up and dr. did an u/s and we discovered the baby had died. I worry about little thing with this baby and can't help but worrying that the same thing will happen. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Hopefully we can all help each other get through these tough times. I'm praying that all is well with your little bean.

I just saw your update!!!!! Yea Glad your numbers are so high. Hopefully that will give you peace of mind for now.
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for my beautiful siggy
Reply With Quote
  #17  
September 19th, 2011, 12:32 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4,396
Yay!! Awesome numbers!!! My loss happened before the first u/s. Passed the baby and everything else naturally at around 6 weeks (probably really closer to 4 which is why my ticker says 4).

I was freaking out over every little thing until the first u/s with this one, too. I got my first u/s at 7 weeks. I thought, based on my dates, Lily was supposed to be measuring right around 8 weeks. She was measuring 7 weeks, 3 days, but my OB wasn't real worried, as she looked like a perfect 7week old baby. It was probably just delayed implantation or I didn't ovulate when I thought I did. I don't think I really settled down and stopped worrying quite as much until the 12 week nt scan.

I hope those numbers continue to climb!!!
__________________
Mom to a 2 year old baby girl, 2 week old baby boy, and one in Heaven.

In loving memory of our angel baby, with us for 4 weeks. Baby went to be with God July 24th, 2009.




Reply With Quote
  #18  
September 19th, 2011, 12:40 PM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 5,820
Glad you had great numbers!
Reply With Quote
  #19  
September 19th, 2011, 01:20 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,340
wonderful news!!
__________________


Thank you *kiliki* for my beautiful siggy!

Reply With Quote
  #20  
September 19th, 2011, 01:22 PM
L-SBB's Avatar Bébé Cowgirl
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 9,810
yay for such a great update...and your #s are so high! hrmm is it too early to take bets on whether you're cooking twins in there?
__________________
Lara

Savannah Stylin!





Remembered Forever with Love
10/13/2008 (@9w2d) 10/18/2011 (@8w5d) 2/12/2012 (@4w3d) 8/13/2012 (@10w3d)
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:11 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0