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Will I ever feel normal?


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
September 30th, 2011, 05:35 AM
StaceygirlPa's Avatar Waiting for our Miracle.
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Will I ever feel normal or comfrontable with this pregnancy? I am over joyed that we saw a wonderful heartbeat. At the same time I am so scared. When I wake up in the morning the first thing I do is made sure my boobs are still sore. I am enjoying this pregnancy but I am so scared. I fine myself snapping at Dh because I am always thinking to much and he tells me to stop thinking. It seems like time is going by so slow. I wish I could just jump right to the second trimester. Although at the same time I don't want time to go by so fast. Does this make sense?

I am so happy I have all of you on here to talk to.
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  #2  
September 30th, 2011, 05:47 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Unfortunately, none of us really feel "normal" in PAL......but for some of us, it does get easier, we stop "thinking" so much of bad things that can happen, once we pass our milestones. For me, even milestones were not all that great, as I knew that all the tests were coming up and my age made me such a high risk for certain defects. I think once I passed all the tests and growth was good (20wks) I finally breathed a bit.

I pray that this time for you go's by withougt any complications and your pregnancy symptoms continue to reasure you as much as possible. I understand about not wanting it to go by too fast, yet you want to get to the "comfortable" part of pregnancy. You will find yourself having more moments of excitement than worry as the weeks wash by though......
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  #3  
September 30th, 2011, 05:50 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am always wondering the same thing. I don't think I'll ever stop worrying about losing this baby. I am hoping after the first trimester i can start to relax a bit and feel like this baby is here to stay. I hope you can find some peace and enjoy your pregnancy. Atleast we all have each other to help us get through the hard times.
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  #4  
September 30th, 2011, 06:08 AM
onedaysoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I found that with each milestone passed I relexed a little more....but never completely. I guess that's what my "normal" was in PAL. I hope that you get to a point where you can relax a little and enjoy it!
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  #5  
September 30th, 2011, 06:27 AM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am in the same boat.
I dont know if the second trimester or third will calm me down.
Knowing what can happen with MTHFR and I could loss my baby at any point in pregnancy really freaks me out.
Right now its really bad because I am not past my loss points yet.
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  #6  
September 30th, 2011, 06:32 AM
*SamF*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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With DS it took until I could regularly feel him move, which was close to 20 weeks.
I think it will probably be about the same with this one. Although I always have that little fear in the back of my head, which I don't think many of us can get rid of here in PAL.
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  #7  
September 30th, 2011, 06:32 AM
KeepingFaith's Avatar *~Mom to Faith Marie~*
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I agree with the other ladies. Will you ever feel like someone who is blissfully pregnant, never having a loss in their past? no. But, will you feel better and more relaxed with each passing week/milestone? YES. I am finally starting the enjoy being pregnant, it has taken a while but, I am there. I have a good feeling you will be there too, it will come faster than you think. I can tell you without these ladies, I don't think I would be there yet and I know they will support you as much as you need.
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  #8  
September 30th, 2011, 06:44 AM
mom2moose
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I agree with everyone else. No, you probably will never relax completely. But, as each milestone passes, maybe you'll relax a little more and enjoy it. That being said, I have Finn and still worry constantly. It's the life of a mommy.
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  #9  
September 30th, 2011, 09:51 AM
StaceygirlPa's Avatar Waiting for our Miracle.
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Thank you ladies. I am hoping after I past the 7 and 8 weeks I will be able to relax some and enjoy this more. Since all of my losses have been around 6 and 7 I am so nervous now that something is going to happen. I keep reminding myself that baby had a great heartbeat and was measuring 1 day ahead.

It does help having all of you to talk and know what I am going through.
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  #10  
September 30th, 2011, 10:54 AM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
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I've never felt "normal" a day in my life. Welcome to Club Odd! (jk)

I really am not normal when it comes to a lot of emotions, so I can't help that much. However, everyone in here has said the things I would have said. You'll always have the worry, but hopefully the good stuff will be more prevalent than the bad stuff soon.

Time is still creeping for me, so I can empathize with that. It stinks.
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  #11  
September 30th, 2011, 11:22 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadeauxe View Post
I've never felt "normal" a day in my life. Welcome to Club Odd!
Hey I belong to that club too!!


Yes Stacey - I hope you will feel more normal and allow yourself to get excited as time passes. For now it is a constant roller coaster of fear... fear that you will lose this baby as you did the others. But know we are here for you and you know I am a phone call/text away as well when the crazies hit.

As each day goes on you will feel better and better and before you know it your baby will be here and we will be celebrating with you all over again. Maybe we can even talk Courtney into bringing out confetti girl for the birth as well, lol.

In the mean time take each minute as it comes and know your feelings are ok.
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  #12  
September 30th, 2011, 03:16 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm sure it's different for everyone that's had a loss or losses....honestly i'm 38 weeks tomorrrow and i'm still not normal or relaxed...Just this morning I had a freak out and had to listen to his heartbeat...I've had moments where it was easier than others in pregnancy, but never like it was before I ever had a loss...My first loss was pretty far along, and i've met/talked to many who had full term stillbirths, so I think that's why i'm not relaxed at all...You can still enjoy your pregnancy and be scared at the same time...I think I have for the most part...I hope in time that you feel more confident and can relax and enjoy every minute of your pregnancy...I found it easier in the 1st trimester with the morning sickness...As long as I felt sick I knew everything was okay...It got harder for me in the 2nd closer to my loss point and before I felt movement.
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  #13  
September 30th, 2011, 03:20 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Yeah, I'm like Megan. lol The worry gets progressively more stressful for me. I hope you're more able to relax, like the others did!
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  #14  
September 30th, 2011, 05:15 PM
fromustobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I could have written your post...
I was cautious anyway, and now after the loss, I am probably considered psychologically impaired...

I dont remember much from my loss, cause it was such a blurr of emotion, but I vaguely remember not having sore BBs and not being nauseous that morning...so sore BBs and nausea are the two things that I'm desperately holding on to...

I grope myself all day every day, even Kaiden is now groping his boobs cause he sees me do it so much...the BBs get numb from being touched so much so I freak out that I've lost the baby...y right now, my BBs arent sore, and usually at night, they are the most sore, so I'm in the middle of a freak out right now...

I also am freaking out constantly cause I'm not very nauseous at all...

I'm really hoping that after 9 weeks, I'll start being a bit more sane, right now, I'm a mess...
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  #15  
September 30th, 2011, 05:41 PM
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I don't know if this is helpful or just worse.....but when I found out about the triplets and that they had no hb's I was 9 weeks and they measured 9 weeks....but I was extremely sick. I could not keep food down at all. I didn't have my d&c until a week after we knew there were no hb's (because I couldn't let go) and I was desperately sick the whole time. I finally felt better after the d&c. I also never once bled. Whereas I did bleed with my healthy pregnancies.

Soooo....I guess what I am trying to say is that symptoms aren't everything and therefore probably aren't as worthy of obsessing over as we think.

But in my case, I just stress over all of it. Symptoms, bad. No symptoms, bad. Bleeding, bad. No bleeding, no guarantee....I guess that makes it a lose/lose as far as anxiety goes...
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  #16  
September 30th, 2011, 07:35 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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There is a new normal after PAL. I hope you start to feel better and relax soon. My freak outs started as I got closer to the second trimester but I had later losses. Passing milestones helps. I hope you feel better soon.
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  #17  
September 30th, 2011, 08:09 PM
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I still worry much more than I did in my pregnancies before my losses, but it has gotten gradually easier for me the more my pregnancy has progressed because my losses were early on. The first trimester of this pregnancy seemed to last forever and forever, and I was so moody. The second trimester was faster, especially after reaching "viability." The third trimester has flown by for me, and I can't believe I'm almost to my due date. I still freak out if I haven't felt her move for awhile, to the point that I think she is going to be used to being poked and prodded because I'm always trying to wake her up.
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  #18  
October 1st, 2011, 06:27 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I've never known "normal" since my first pregnancy was my first loss. I never got to experience blissful ignorance. I am a worrier by nature. Each new milestone excites me, and makes me want to feel more secure. But, I still worry at every stage. I don't breathe a sigh of relief until baby is here safe and healthy in my arms. Shortly after that I start worrying about all the things that can happen in the newborn stage. Like I said, I'm a worrier.
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