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Very hard day


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
October 17th, 2011, 02:55 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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Location: In yonder mountains
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Today has been a really, really hard day. I don't even know how to explain it. I know some of you ladies know the saga with my Mom trying to make me do things to bring on labor. Honestly, every time I have talked to her in the month of October she has brought up caster oil. I have told her each and every time there is no way I am going to do that because of the risks to a child. Well, I found out this morning that my parents (one of which just got back into the country yesterday) are going to MO this week. So of course, my mom practically begs me to drink caster oil today so that Marsi will be here before they leave. It was my breaking point. I laid everything out again for her as to the reasons why I wouldn't do it. She ten proceeded to tell me about her doing it to get my sister and I out (before 37 weeks mind you!)

I broke down into tears. I couldn't breathe and I was shaking. Full blown panic attack because she was forcing me into this little corner that I refuse to be in. I can't just stop talking to her. She is usually a good mom and a good grandma. But, I am trying my hardest to KNOW that I am doing everything I can to keep MY baby healthy. It is MY decisions and she needs to respect them...but I can't make her be quiet about her opinions. I am completely lost on what more to do. I even said "I have had 5 miscarriages. I will NOT put this baby at any additional risk just to get her here a little early"...that was the sentence that put me into the panic attack.

I know I shouldn't feel bad. My mom's choices have gotten her into different countries and states right near my due date...it WASN'T my choices. She wants to meet Marsi so bad she tries to peg my labor into 2 days here and there.

Sorry, I could go on forever. I am so tired and emotional.
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  #2  
October 17th, 2011, 03:16 PM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
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sorry you're having to deal with that. It sounds very unpleasant. I wish I had some advice, but it seems like you're doing everything you can.
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  #3  
October 17th, 2011, 03:22 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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I'm sorry she's making you feel that way. You are completely right though, it's HER choice to not be around near your due date, not yours so she needs to figure out her priorities!
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  #4  
October 17th, 2011, 03:29 PM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry she's acting like this. You are completely right to make your own decisions- and she should really prioritize the health of your little girl over her selfish travel plans! I hope she stops stressing you out so you can enjoy your last few days of pregnancy!
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  #5  
October 17th, 2011, 03:40 PM
*SamF*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sorry she is pestering you. And it's not like Castor oil really works great anyway. Baby will be here when baby is ready.
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  #6  
October 17th, 2011, 04:38 PM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
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I am so sorry. I have mother issues myself, and that is why she will not be at the birth. Just let that beautiful baby bake, and when she is ready, she'll come.
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  #7  
October 17th, 2011, 05:11 PM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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Sorry she is being that way. You are doing the right thing. Castor oil can make you very sick and still pregnant. I saw ladies in my DDC use it to no avail. Don't let her make you feel that way.
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  #8  
October 17th, 2011, 05:48 PM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AZsnowflake View Post
I'm sorry she's making you feel that way. You are completely right though, it's HER choice to not be around near your due date, not yours so she needs to figure out her priorities!
I'm sorry she's doing this to you! You've worked so hard to get to this point and to keep her baking longer. She needs to lay off.
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  #9  
October 17th, 2011, 05:48 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh I did the castor oil thing at 41 weeks with my oldest son 20 years ago! It was so nasty tasting and that is all I did to myself was end up pooping out tons of little oil drops, lol. I do not recommend it



I am sorry you are having a hard time with your mom. ((hugs))
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  #10  
October 17th, 2011, 06:22 PM
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So frustrating tht you have to be in this position, especially so close to your due date when anxiety is high already. From what I've heard, things like castor oil don't work anyway... tell your mom that! Or, if she's that overwhelming, do what i do... tell my mom what she wants to hear - that you took the oil and it just didn't work. Not ideal, but i know how insistent moms can be at times!
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  #11  
October 17th, 2011, 06:30 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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Thanks ladies. I am hoping my break down makes her leave it alone. She called and apologized and decided that they aren't going to MO until after Marsi comes. It seems like she is finally getting her priorities straight.
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  #12  
October 17th, 2011, 06:41 PM
TnPhotoMama81's Avatar Wife/Mommy/Photographer
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i agree with everyone else I am so sorry she is doing that...it amazes me sometimes how selfish grandparents can be over stuff like that. My mom likes to chime in with her "wisdom" at times too.

Sometimes it is helpful but sometimes I feel like she judges me over some of the things we decide to do when regarding our son.

*hugs* Keep letting that baby bake!
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  #13  
October 17th, 2011, 07:09 PM
onedaysoon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So sorry your mom is being that way...but glad she apologized. I hope she sees what is more important here.
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  #14  
October 18th, 2011, 05:46 AM
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((HUGS)) I am so sorry your mom is being that way. I agree she is the one who can choose if she wants to be there or not.
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  #15  
October 18th, 2011, 06:54 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time with your mom. Glad she apolized though. Hopefully she is starting to see that baby needs to bake as long as baby wants to.
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  #16  
October 18th, 2011, 07:06 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Your mom shoud admire how strong you are at this point! Most people are so impatient to get baby out, and your just letting nature take its course. Im glad she is waiting around till Marci is born and hope that she appreciates all your doing once she see's how beautiful your little baby is!
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  #17  
October 18th, 2011, 09:21 AM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Im sorry your mom is causing extra stress. Not sure how I would handle my mom doing that to me.
But I think you are doing the right thing by waiting on baby to come on its own... I belive you will have a better birth if you wait until baby is ready!
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  #18  
October 18th, 2011, 02:49 PM
StaceygirlPa's Avatar Waiting for our Miracle.
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I am sorry your mom is causing you stress. I agree with the other ladies. Its your baby and you have the say so on what you are going to do.
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  #19  
October 18th, 2011, 06:46 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry, Rachel. ((hugs))
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