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Can't get involved with my DDC?


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
October 27th, 2011, 07:36 AM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,463
I just seem like I don't "fit" in well with my DDC. So many women and so many things always happening! I like being able to follow people's journeys and over there it's almost like chaos. Plus I'm super jealous some of their biggest fears is not having the "right" gender, or no one throwing them a baby shower. I worry every second of everyday I am gonna loose this bean and they don't seem to understand it.

I'll probably just stick around with you Ladies! Where I know mostly everyones journey and you guys understand PAMAL.
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  #2  
October 27th, 2011, 08:06 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,364
I totally understand! I couldn't really get into the DDC until i got further along and stopped worrying so much about this pregnancy. The first 20 weeks, especially leading up to the anatomy scan, were tough. I was terrified of another spina bifida diagnosis while the moms in my DDC were terrified of having a second boy instead of a girl. And when they would call it a gender scan instead of an anatomy scan, I thought my mind would blow.

As i got further, i started to understand that they can't possibly understand what i'm going through (though some of them have had losses in the past) but in the early days I just couldn't get past my own fears. The PAL board has such a different vibe to it (no pettiness that fills some of the DDCs) and has been such a wonderful support for me, evne now that i am getting more comfortable with the DDC.
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  #3  
October 27th, 2011, 08:18 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
I try hard to fit in there too, but sometimes I do not feel that I do. That's why I still leave a lot of the personal stuff in here and just reply to stuff in there.
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  #4  
October 27th, 2011, 08:43 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I tried myself.... But this is home!! I love PAL I kind of made it my own personal DDC!
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #5  
October 27th, 2011, 09:26 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,035
I think the difference for us is we have already formed our own "DDC" before we even came here. TTCAL becomes a family and then when you move here it's the DDC.
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My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11


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  #6  
October 27th, 2011, 09:32 AM
KeepingFaith's Avatar *~Mom to Faith Marie~*
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,697
I feel the same way, this IS my little DDC. I read the posts in the feb DDC from time to time, but never post there. I love it here
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  #7  
October 27th, 2011, 10:14 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Montana
Posts: 3,602
Quote:
Originally Posted by .:Shortcake:. View Post
I think the difference for us is we have already formed our own "DDC" before we even came here. TTCAL becomes a family and then when you move here it's the DDC.
I think Katie is right exactly!

And I see what you mean Kayla... It probably makes a difference for me that I started posting there when there weren't so many ladies and I haven't had as long or difficult of journeys as you and Lindsey. I can tell that I'm going to get annoyed with some of the petty stuff... I certainly was in the Jan DDC when I was posting there. But it's also fun to get that different perspective. And, for me, it helps me remember the joy and excitement of being pregnant so that I don't just focus on the worry and fear I feel.

That being said.... I am SO glad that this board is here. This is the safe place...
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  #8  
October 27th, 2011, 10:32 AM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 5,778
I don't fit in with my DDC either. They don't get me.
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  #9  
October 27th, 2011, 10:38 AM
StaceygirlPa's Avatar Waiting for our Miracle.
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Clarence, Pa
Posts: 5,106
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I am having a hard time fitting in with my DDC. I always knew when I got pg I would hang out here more then the DDC. I think Katie said it best.
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  #10  
October 27th, 2011, 10:40 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,171
I never could either. I read the DDC posts frequently but this is home to me.
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  #11  
October 27th, 2011, 10:48 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 5,281
I understand. It's hard to fit in. It took a while for me last time, but now I really enjoy it as a playroom.

Hopefully I will be joining the July DDC soon and you will have someone who understands!
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  #12  
October 27th, 2011, 11:16 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,555
I couln't "click" with my DDC either, plus they seem to have tons of drama. I read a lot here, but don't post a lot, RPL is where my heart is, but I really don't "fit in" over there either. *shrugs*
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  #13  
October 27th, 2011, 11:16 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,044
I know exactly what you mean and feel the same way. At the beginning, I tried to get involved with my DDC but just found it easier to post here because you ladies all understand PAL. Then I would just lurk in the DDC and just recently started posting a bit more, not much, in my DDC. PAL is still my most comfortable place and always will be!
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Mommy to Alexander, Annabella, & always missing our angel!
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  #14  
October 27th, 2011, 12:00 PM
*SamF*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 16,621
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I think all DDC's are hard to get into in the beginning. They do get better as you get to know people in them.
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  #15  
October 27th, 2011, 12:01 PM
queenofthecastle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana
Posts: 35,050
I had a hard time at first too. I was so afraid to get attached to them and then have to leave. I went through the motions a lot of the time. Now, I love it there. I think it helps when the DDC has a few members from the TTAL forum.
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  #16  
October 27th, 2011, 12:10 PM
OurSweetLabs's Avatar I LOVE My Boys!!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 11,003
I am very thankful that I was a Mommy Guide for my DDC before I got my BFP this time. It forced me to stay with it. I am so thankful for my PR and hope that my DDC turns out the same way.

HOWEVER it is very nice to be able to come here when others just don't get it.
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  #17  
October 27th, 2011, 03:04 PM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,965
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DDC are very hard at first. I am still having problems keeping up with everyone because we have well over 70 active members in my DDC right now.
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  #18  
October 27th, 2011, 03:19 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Quote:
Originally Posted by .:Shortcake:. View Post
I think the difference for us is we have already formed our own "DDC" before we even came here. TTCAL becomes a family and then when you move here it's the DDC.
You totally took my feelings and put it into words!! That is how I feel!


Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadeauxe View Post
I don't fit in with my DDC either. They don't get me.
Oh we get you and love you for it!!
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #19  
October 27th, 2011, 04:18 PM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 17,035
Quote:
Originally Posted by missy123 View Post

Oh we get you and love you for it!!
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My Angels- 12-15-08 @ 13w3d♥ 05-09 @ 6w2d♥ & 2 Early Losses♥ Twins 9-7-10♥ & 10-2-10 ♥ 2/11/11


Want a siggy in a hurry? Check out my Siggy Express Lane
My blog


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  #20  
October 27th, 2011, 06:53 PM
mom2moose
Guest
Posts: n/a
It was hard for me at first too. But then I started really bonding with certain women. I came to this board with all my fears and worries and everyone here helped me. I went to my DDC for more of the "petty" stuff, if that makes sense. I had the best of both worlds. And now, some of those women from my DDC are my friends. We text and email and chat on the phone. The best thing about a DDC is that these women are going through the same things you are AT THE SAME TIME. Meaning, we all have babies within a month of eachother. It's nice to talk about where her baby is at, and where mine is, etc.
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