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I gave in and now freaking out... :( TMI


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
October 27th, 2011, 01:44 PM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
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Well I told DH we wouldnt be doing anything sexual till the 2nd trimester... Today I caved and did stuff we did not have intercourse but TMI we both finished.


I haven't had any spotting yet but 2 of our miscarriages DH and I DTD and started spotting and it never stopped and lost them. I'm so nervous of this happening again!

You would think I could control myself for the baby but sex is such a big part of our relationship it's hard to cut cold turkey.


I keep saying to myself why why why? It's like I'm waiting for the spotting to start.
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  #2  
October 27th, 2011, 02:02 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry you are scared. We had sex a few times a week during the 1st trimester and all was ok. (((hugs))) We are not machines, we still need that closeness with our partners.

Try not to be so hard on yourself.
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  #3  
October 27th, 2011, 02:21 PM
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I totally understand!!
The same thing happened to me when I m/c. I know it was the cause of the m/c, but I totally fear seeing spotting, so we haven't had yet. I'm too paranoid, but at the same time it makes me feel less connected to him.
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  #4  
October 27th, 2011, 02:21 PM
*SamF*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Try to relax. It's highly unlikely that sex had anything to do with any of your m/c's. I know that with 2 of mine we also had just DTD and then a day later I started spotting, but the causes were unrelated.
I'm sure all will be just fine!
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  #5  
October 27th, 2011, 02:26 PM
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Oops...I meant to say that it was NOT the cause of my M/C, not the cause...
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  #6  
October 27th, 2011, 02:44 PM
mom2moose
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Sex isn't the cause of your m/c's. Sex is perfectly fine as long as there aren't any problems. We had sex a few times a week the entire pregnancy. I know it's hard to worry, but unless your OB tells you to abstain, you should be fine.
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  #7  
October 27th, 2011, 04:44 PM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
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Ditto the other ladies
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  #8  
October 27th, 2011, 06:02 PM
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Sweetie, with the losses you DTD before losing them, I don't think DTD had much to do with it. I went through the same what ifs and asking myself why when we lost our bean, but people kept telling me if you were gonna lose it, you were gonna lose it regardless of what you did or didn't do. I know it's hard to hear, but that's how I see things. That thought process brought me comfort.

I really think this is your sticky bean. Remember, you said you've never seen your hcg betas go so high. That is an EXCELLENT sign. Sex wont make you miscarry.

I know it's impossible not to worry, but I just thought I'd share a thought process that brought me some comfort and reassured me when we conceived our little girl, who is still here and healthy.
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  #9  
October 28th, 2011, 08:23 AM
StaceygirlPa's Avatar Waiting for our Miracle.
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I agree with the other ladies. I know it is hard not to worry. I know it is easier said then done. Try to relax.
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  #10  
October 28th, 2011, 11:19 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
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This is something my RE talked to us about before we ever concieved. Apparently it is VERY common for people to assume DTD had something to do with the loss/losses, since both things involve spotting in early pregnancy (or *can* involve spotting). And also, DTD is often blamed because people mistakenly believe that orgasms are unhealthy to the baby (which they are not). But DTD can not cause a healthy pregnancy to be miscarried. In fact, very, very little can cause a healthy pregnancy to go south. Those beans in there are, in fact, meant to be resiliant. It just does not seem that way to us because we had to say goodbye before and too many times. But healthy little beans are not going anywhere. And based on those numbers, your beanie is as healthy as a horse!
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