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My losses don't count.


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
December 26th, 2011, 07:25 AM
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So, I have been pregnant 13 times with 14 babies.... I was told by my SIL that only 3 of my babies counted. My first loss, cause I was 10 weeks when I had my D&C, Peter's twin cause we saw a heartbeat, and Peter. All the rest were chemical pregnancies, and though they didn't last long, I think they counted. She told me that in the eyes of God, they weren't real people!

Who says that to someone? That may be what you believe, but why do you have to discredit 11 of my pregnancies? Just keep it to yourself!
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  #2  
December 26th, 2011, 07:28 AM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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Regardless of what someone may think, that is just not something that should be spoken out loud. I'm so sorry you had to hear those terribly insensitive words.

and more
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  #3  
December 26th, 2011, 07:56 AM
Mamacc's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yeah that is rude and insensitive. Who is she to decide what a baby is in the eyes of god? And why would you even say such a thing to someone who's been through so many losses??!??
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  #4  
December 26th, 2011, 08:04 AM
esparando para bebé's Avatar Proud Car Seat Technician
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I'm so sorry sweetie.
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  #5  
December 26th, 2011, 08:05 AM
mom2moose
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Your SIL sounds like an idiot. and shame on her for saying something like that. Only someone who's never suffered a loss would say something so stupid. I'm sorry. You know they counted and what anyone else thinks doesn't matter!!!
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  #6  
December 26th, 2011, 08:32 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
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I cannot hold back my anger when someone says something rude and insensitive to me. I know it is not what I should do, but I cannot let someone think that they can say things like that to me. I would have put her in her place.

I am sorry though that someone would do that to you. A loss is a loss regardless. I have had one chemical and my doctor does not count that as a loss which hurts.
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  #7  
December 26th, 2011, 09:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2moose View Post
Your SIL sounds like an idiot. and shame on her for saying something like that. Only someone who's never suffered a loss would say something so stupid. I'm sorry. You know they counted and what anyone else thinks doesn't matter!!!
That's the shocking thing! She HAS experienced 2 losses of her own! Maybe that is her coping mechanism, pretending they don't count...
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  #8  
December 26th, 2011, 09:43 AM
OurSweetLabs's Avatar I LOVE My Boys!!
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Oh Honey

I am just proud that you are posting here instead of having a friend post that you are needing to raise bail money...

(((HUGS)))
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  #9  
December 26th, 2011, 10:18 AM
lindsey2000k's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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WOW, I dont know how someone could say something like that.

I have never had a Chemical all of my losses were 7 weeks and farther but I think it would still hurt just as bad.
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  #10  
December 26th, 2011, 10:29 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You showed great restraint. What an insensitive, ignorant twit. Last I checked in God's eyes life begins at conception. I'm sorry she belittled all that you've been through. Shame on her, especially for having suffered losses herself to be able to say that to someone else.
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  #11  
December 26th, 2011, 11:39 AM
kzoo1280's Avatar Kristin...TTC #1!
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What a horrible thing to say...unbelievably rude. Hugs!
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  #12  
December 26th, 2011, 11:56 AM
StaceygirlPa's Avatar Waiting for our Miracle.
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I can't believe that your sil would say something like that to you. That is just rude. You know in your heart that all your losses counted.
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  #13  
December 26th, 2011, 12:35 PM
KeepingFaith's Avatar *~Mom to Faith Marie~*
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That was very insensitive of her, you know darn well they count and your heart will always feel their loss. I'm sorry she said something so stupid...
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  #14  
December 26th, 2011, 02:55 PM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
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In her eyes, if it takes seeing a heartbeat, I have only had one pregnancy and just thinking that makes me incredibly sad. I long for my 5 lost babies. I grieve for my babies. It doesn't matter that they were mostly before 5 weeks. I was pregnant with a baby.

I am so sorry that your SIL said those things. There are some opinions that one should NEVER say out loud. That is one of them. Who is she to speak for God?
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  #15  
December 26th, 2011, 06:09 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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Sorry she was so rude. Some people don't get it until it happens to them.
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  #16  
December 26th, 2011, 06:17 PM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I am so sorry that your SIL would say something like that. So insensitive. And you showed much more restraint than me. I think I might have beat the crap out of her. HUGS.
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  #17  
December 27th, 2011, 03:50 AM
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I used to keep quiet but now I speak out when someone says something stupid!
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  #18  
December 27th, 2011, 04:50 AM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
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Bleh. People are dumb. I call this the Age of Entitlement because it seems like everyone has an inflated value of themselves and that they are entitled to do whatever they want whenever they want and it doesn't matter how it affects other people.
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  #19  
December 27th, 2011, 06:50 AM
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that was just horrible of her to say! i'm sorry you have to deal with someone so stupid and insensitive!
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  #20  
December 27th, 2011, 07:16 AM
queenofthecastle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2moose View Post
Your SIL sounds like an idiot. and shame on her for saying something like that. Only someone who's never suffered a loss would say something so stupid. I'm sorry. You know they counted and what anyone else thinks doesn't matter!!!
I completely agree with that statement. HUGS hon!! How rude of her .
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