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Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
December 28th, 2011, 05:30 AM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Utah
Posts: 1,401
My DH is driving me crazy! First off right when he gets home from work he sits on the couch and plays video games for an hours at a time. I literally have to BEG him to get off. Secondly I just found out he failed all 3 of his college classes last semester. I never saw him doing homework but he told me "he had it under control". I am so angry. We PAID for those classes and books and he just goes and fails them. Thirdly and this may be the most selfish of all for me but I spent 3 months planning his Christmas present. And I made sure it was a surprise to him. So when he found out I had a huge surprise for me he says "oh we're getting each other gifts?" Uhm yes David we are! It's not really the fact of the gift for me just the fact he didn't think about me. Maybe I'm being hormonal with that one. Lastly he doesn't understand I'm PREGNANT we were cleaning yesterday I cleaned the whole living room vacuumed and all. I scrubbed the whole bathroom and afterwards I was tired so I sat down for a little. He comes out from the kitchen and says "why are you just sitting there?!? I'm in here doing dishes!" Are you kidding me? I just scrubbed the whole bathroom sorry I don't have the energy I used too! Before he went to work we got in a fight and I literally jumped out of bed. So now I'm nervous I hurt baby so I'm relaxing trying to clam down.

Sorry guys I just really needed to rant. My DH is killin me lately and maybe its because I'm more emotional but I'm getting pushed to the edge. Thanks for whoever that long thing and if there's typos sorry I wrote this on my iPhone in rage.
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  #2  
December 28th, 2011, 06:03 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,364
Vent away!!! I don't think you are crazy at all. The school thing would have made me insane, and i will never understand why men don't think of gift giving the way we do. We don't exchange Hanukkah or Valentine's Day gifts because he insists we don't, even though I've told him it's not a monetary thing but a small gift would just make me feel like he thought of me.

If it makes you feel better, you aren't alone. My dh has started playing some online pirate game on the ipad and it's driving me mad. Last night ds was calling for him to tuck him in for 10 minutes and he was so wrapped up in this stupid game he didn't even hear him. I almost cried - the ipad was his birthday gift and not meant as just a way to play video games.
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  #3  
December 28th, 2011, 07:46 AM
StaceygirlPa's Avatar Waiting for our Miracle.
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Clarence, Pa
Posts: 5,106
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Feel free to vent away. I would also be mad if we spend money for classes and he didn't take the searious. Dh is terrible about picking out gifts but at least he always tries and I love him for that. Not thinking of me on Christmas would really hurt my feelings. I am so happy Dh dosen't like computers or games. I don't have to worry about that. Dh gets mad at me because he says I spend so much time on the computer. My problem with Dh is he stays outside working until late but he is working so I really can't get mad. I guess what I am trying to say is your not emotional.
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  #4  
December 28th, 2011, 07:54 AM
LindseyE117's Avatar Wookie's Girl
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 3,741
I would be furious about the classes too. My DH was struggling with a lot of his classes one semester and I ended up tutoring him on a lot of it, and even helping him with his homework. It drove me crazy, because I also was taking 2 classes that semester and I was working full time. He was not.

As for the games, my hubby just got our son Gears of War 3 for the XBox, and he plays for at least an hour or two after work. I just sit behind him if I want any time. It drives me crazy too.

So <<hugs>> and rant away!
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  #5  
December 28th, 2011, 08:40 AM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 13,408
You're not emotional! I would be livid if DH failed college classes. They're expensive! I also feel you on the video games. DH loves his online games, and it drives me nuts.
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  #6  
December 28th, 2011, 10:20 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Delaware (the state!)
Posts: 6,164
Stupid online games...lol! My DH went a long time after DD was born not playing them, he totally did a 360 when she was born and realized what type of help I needed with baby, he was great, but before that I was so furious with him and the games. Now, he has some new stuff to play, but we have an agreement, he plays them when I am in bed or not home. He might jump on for a few minutes while I give DD a bath (unless I ask him to give her the bath, because some nights I feel awful at that time), but he seems to get it now. I would sit down and talk to him, tell him you would appreciate if he didn't jump on the games right away, have a time when he can play them, tell him you want some of his attention, to talk about your day and his, to just spend some time together. And remember to remind him that you are pregnant and your energy comes and goes and you need to take more breaks than usual, men forget about this, because they aren't the ones physically going through this. You are not being emotional, but he is also just being a man...lol! We have to remind them sometimes, especially when we aren't really showing, there isn't that visual reminder for them yet...as for the college courses, that would really make me angry too.

Sit him down and explain to him that he needs to take that seriously. My DH, at 32 years old, has finally realized that going back to school to get his degree in what he actually wants to do is a serious matter. Before, he never would have cared, but now he is upset because he got 3 A's and a B+, he is so mad that he got a B+, not an A...sometimes they just need a little extra hand holding and assurance that they can do it before they realize they really can do it! Tell him you can't be "wasting" money only for him to not take it seriously, especially with baby on the way...it isn't fair to anyone!
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