DH can be so insensitive...

kaylakay · #1 February 6th, 2012, 08:24 PM

I swear recently I am married to a 15 year old.

DH was sitting on the couch in his boxers, eating, with all his manhood hanging out. I walked by and told him how "attractive" he looked. He then shot back with a "Well honestly for the past month I haven't seen you as very attractive myself".

What an awesome thing to say to your pregnant wife. DH has been very upset we haven't DTD I'm a while and doesn't let me forget it... You think I'm going to want to have sex with him now?

I'm just a bit hormonal but jeeze... Sometimes even the littlest things cut deep.

geogeek · #2 February 6th, 2012, 08:55 PM

Wow...I am so sorry that he said that. That is horrible. Lots of virtual hugs being sent your way. What a horrid thing to say to a pregnant wife.

LindseyE117 · #3 February 7th, 2012, 04:39 AM

What a horrible thing to say to a woman period. If my husband would have said something like that, I would have started packing and walked out for a few days. Then again, my previous relationship was extremely emotionally abusive and I do not take ANY type of talk like that. Knowing my husband though, he would have chased me out the door apologizing for his behavior. He has said quite a few insensetive things that has gotten him in a lot of trouble. He definately watches what he says now.

With all that being said, I am so sorry that happened.

*SamF* · #4 February 7th, 2012, 06:01 AM

I'm sorry he said that. One of the worst possible things to say to a pregnant woman.

lindsey2000k · #5 February 7th, 2012, 07:06 AM

WOW im sorry

ashj_1218 · #6 February 7th, 2012, 07:24 AM

Um, what a jerk

There are just lines you don't cross...and saying that to a pregnant woman is one of them.

I will never forget when my cousin said that he found nothing attractive about pregnant women and found it "gross." And he was just my cousin, whom I couldn't give to $hits about. It is soooo much worse coming from someone who is supposed to be supportive and loving. I wanna whack him upside the head FOR you.

Yeah, if he was thinking sex was rare before, he certainly went about remedying that situation poorly. He shot himself in the foot on that one.

Pitridge · #7 February 7th, 2012, 07:52 AM

I'm sorry. Men have BIG egos, you hurt his, so instead of sucking it up like a man and move on, he needed to have the last word. DH has done this to me, so many times. I hope he knows that he's changes of sex now are even worse than before.

K.A.T · #8 February 7th, 2012, 08:07 AM

That is a horrible thing to say. Mine always harps on my weight, and I'm not even that big of a person. He's also mad that we've only dtd twice since I've been pg. But I just remind him that the worse I feel and the more he harps isn't going to get him anywhere.

humnck · #9 February 7th, 2012, 08:44 AM

I am sorry he said that to you - I would put that at the top of the "things you don't say to a pregnant woman" list.

A lot of couples go through the DTD issues, if he is that upset about it, I would sit him down and talk to him about it - let him know the reasons and that making snide comments like that doesn't make you feel attractive and certainly doesn't make you want to DTD! He probably needs to be reminded, as many men do, that women go through SOOOOO many changes when pg and sometimes we feel less than attractive or just aren't in the mood...

missy123 · #10 February 7th, 2012, 11:04 AM

I just read this out loud to my husband and he was like "oh wow". He was pretty shocked.

<------- that is where your husband belongs!!

l1i2v3 · #11 February 7th, 2012, 11:25 AM

Sorry he said that.

Men can be such jerks without even realizing it sometimes!

humnck · #12 February 7th, 2012, 12:00 PM

I did the same thing with my DH, Missy, his face was one of "man, I know where I'd be if I said that" - lol!

kaylakay · #13 February 7th, 2012, 12:21 PM

Thanks guys... We ended up arguing till about midnight last night because of it... Hes just being such a jerk lately. I don't know what his problem is... He didn't say much when we were arguing it was like I was talking to a wall. Oh well. What can I do?

Pitridge · #14 February 7th, 2012, 12:31 PM

Sometimes when DH is like that, I just let thing cool down for a day or two. He might be anxious about the baby coming, I know that for DH my first pg was hard, , as you getting further along, they start to realize that they will be dads, money and it freaks them out.
Maybe approach him by talking to him about the baby, worries that he was. Maybe he's having problems at work.
It's not ok what he said to you but remember that when we get mad we always say things that we don't mean. Give him a second chance.

StaceygirlPa · #15 February 7th, 2012, 12:57 PM

I can't belie e your dh said that to yu. My dh would never do that.

fromustobaby · #16 February 7th, 2012, 01:52 PM

first pregnancies are very hard on husbands cause they dont have the bonding that we do with the baby but they know that there life is just going to change in a huge way...that being said, that was a horrible thing to say to you and I hope that you guys can talk it out...

Jessghetti · #17 February 7th, 2012, 06:10 PM

o_O Uh, why in the world would he have his junk hanging out when eating on the couch? Is there a purpose to this? It sounds incredibly odd to me.

He didn't need to be a jerk though, it's not like you run around having your ladyhood hanging around for anyone to see right? Maybe he got upset because you (indirectly) insulted his uhm... 'manly bits'?

kaylakay · #18 February 7th, 2012, 06:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jessghetti

o_O Uh, why in the world would he have his junk hanging out when eating on the couch? Is there a purpose to this? It sounds incredibly odd to me.

He didn't need to be a jerk though, it's not like you run around having your ladyhood hanging around for anyone to see right? Maybe he got upset because you (indirectly) insulted his uhm... 'manly bits'?

He was being lazy and disgusting... So he just kinda sat there in his boxers with his stuff hangin out. That's why I used a sarcastic/kidding "attractive". I would never put him down seriously. Ever. He's just being immature lately.

LindseyE117 · #19 February 7th, 2012, 07:11 PM

If he is having a lot of issues, maybe therapy would work for you two. Sometimes therapy can get out what a person is really trying to say. Maybe it is nerves.

ashj_1218 · #20 February 8th, 2012, 06:34 AM

Chances are that his hormones are starting to change and bring on some weird personality changes. There is scientific proof that men's hormones change right along with the woman's in later pregnancy. It prepares them for bonding with the baby. They become less testosterone drive and have more progesterone in late pregnancy and the first few weeks of the baby's life. It is pretty cool, but certainly annoying when the changes are not in the positive direction. I would also give him a couple days to cool off and then try to approach it again. If he blows you off...I would flat out tell him that he needs to get his act together or he needs to go to therapy to figure out what is making him so negative and sarcastic because you don't want to raise the baby in a house like that. I pulled that out once on my DH and you wouldn't believe how quickly his behavior changed. And not for a week either, it is still changed to this day. He realized I was serious about things and started making changes. I hope he gets better soon. Just what you DON'T need is a DH acting like a baby while you are expecting one!