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  • 2 Post By Shadeauxe
  • 3 Post By luvmykids623

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  #1  
February 12th, 2012, 10:21 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
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Hi Everyone. One of my old colleagues called me the other day asking if I was ready to go back to work and there is going to be a job opening in my field in the next 2-3 weeks. As I have been laid off for the last 3 months money is really tight here and we could use the income (if the offer is what I think it will be).

I had every intention of going back to work before I got laid off in November. I should feel super grateful for this possible opportunity and the fact I did not have to even look for work - it is falling into my lap. But now that Scarlett is here and I have been able to enjoy her so much I am feeling anxious about Daycare. I am so torn between being back at a job with income and playing with my daughter all day.

How do you deal with going to work and putting your children in daycare? If you are pregnant are you going back to work or going to be a sahm? What made you come to these decisions?
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  #2  
February 12th, 2012, 10:53 AM
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I feel for ya, hun! It took me a while to figure out what I wanted in terms of childcare.

I was working. Well, I still am. I was working during the week and weekend but quickly decided that was not for me. I, personally, needed more time with my baby. Now I've found a happy medium - I told my work that I can only work weekends, and I am babysitting two kids in my home during the week so that I make extra money, but am still able to stay home with Olivia. Would that be an option for you?
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  #3  
February 12th, 2012, 11:18 AM
Mommy2Makenna's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Florida
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For me, making the decision was pretty easy, but following through on it was difficult. Here is my situation....

DH and I both make very respectable incomes -- mine is higher. My line of work does not allow for part-time employment. Its all or nothing. I knew pretty early that I would be sending my child to daycare. I was, however, very picky about the type of daycare that I wanted. I inquired with my local churches to find an in-home daycare with the same values that dh and I share. We found an AWESOME in-home daycare. Most of her kids are part time (2 or 3 days per week). Mondays are busy days and there are a total of up to 10 kids there. Thursdays are slower days and it's just her and one or two other kids. She gets the social interaction without the "traditional" daycare. My daycare does "school" with the kids every day and her back yard (according to my daughter) is "Miss Diane's park" with lots of activities to keep them busy.

The first day I dropped her off was SOOOOOO hard. It did get easier with time and I'm sure that it will be a little easier to drop off the boy (still no name) when the time comes.

Honestly - the only time I get annoyed with our situation now is potty training. 2 days in a row (weekends) is not enough time to set up a routine and get things going. I would take a few days off in a row, but I'm trying to save all my time off for my maternity leave as I don't have nearly as much time accrued as I did with my daughter's maternity. I know the first few weeks of him being home aren't the right time to do it either. So here I stay -- locked in diaper routines and no plan on how to get out.
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  #4  
February 12th, 2012, 11:31 AM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
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Location: Massachusetts
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Massachusetts is an expensive state. We need both of our incomes. Daycare is crazy expensive here (average for infants is over $1300/month, some places charge $2100/mo), even the in-home ones, but it's still less than a quarter of my salary. It was never a consideration for me to be a stay at home mother.
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  #5  
February 12th, 2012, 01:01 PM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'll be going back to work 8 weeks after the twins are born. They'll be going to the private babysitter that we've had since DS was 6 weeks old. She watches a few kids in her home, and she's wonderful! It's really hard to leave them, but as time goes on it gets less hard. I really don't have a choice but to work. NJ is an expensive state to live in, and my income is higher than DH. With the twins coming we almost could make it worth it for DH to be a SAHD, but our teacher hating governor is planning on cutting my salary pretty much in half by 2014 so it's not possible anymore. I don't make a great deal to start with, and by the time he's done with me I will be making slightly more than I did when I was 19 and a manager in retail.
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  #6  
February 12th, 2012, 01:51 PM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmykids623 View Post
?.. but our teacher hating governor is planning on cutting my salary pretty much in half by 2014 so it's not possible anymore. I don't make a great deal to start with, and by the time he's done with me I will be making slightly more than I did when I was 19 and a manager in retail.
That's really annoying. I don't understand why politicians place such a low value on education.
missy123 and StaceygirlPa like this.
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  #7  
February 12th, 2012, 02:16 PM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadeauxe View Post
That's really annoying. I don't understand why politicians place such a low value on education.
I agree! What this governor is doing is insane! What's even more crazy is how many people agree with him that we make too much and shouldn't be entitled to our pensions. Excuse me, I pay into my pension, and the state hasn't made a payment into the fund in the last 13 years. Yet, they're going to take that away too.
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  #8  
February 12th, 2012, 03:29 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I feel bad for you teachers. My oldest son is going to college to be an elementary teacher because he loves children. One of my best friends is a teacher and talked to him about it as she doesn't make a lot of money but honestly loves her job. She tried to talk him out of it because of the way teachers are being treated now.


I worked when the boys were little and went back to work when my youngest was just a week old. If this offer is what I feel it will be then we will find a daycare to put her in. I guess my head and my heart are telling me 2 different things
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #9  
February 12th, 2012, 03:42 PM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
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Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmykids623 View Post
I agree! What this governor is doing is insane! What's even more crazy is how many people agree with him that we make too much and shouldn't be entitled to our pensions. Excuse me, I pay into my pension, and the state hasn't made a payment into the fund in the last 13 years. Yet, they're going to take that away too.
I would blame Fox News for hyping this whole teachers are overpaid thing during the whole Michigan debacle. I don't get why so many people buy into their propaganda.
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  #10  
February 12th, 2012, 03:43 PM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yeah, I would try to talk him out of it too, and it's a shame. If only it were about the kids! Instead it's about crappy politics.

I think your head and heart will always be telling you something different on this one.
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  #11  
February 12th, 2012, 05:02 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
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With my first I didn't have a choice, but luckily I had my mom to sit for me. With my second I was home for the firs year (at DH's request) then I went back. He got sick in daycare, I felt guilty and quit. DH was OK with that cause he really wanted me home for 2 years. So instead of being home I went back to school and used the school daycare or MIL while I was in class.

With this one, I really don't know what's going to go on. This will be the fourth kid in the family and DH really despises his job. SO I only see myself out of work for probably 6 months max. I would like a year, but I doubt it. I'm hoping that we can buy a home that will also serve as rental income so I can try to go back to work for the schools as a paraprofessional or a part time aid. DH doesn't really care about my income as long at the benefits are good.
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  #12  
February 12th, 2012, 05:51 PM
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Missy I agree I think you head & heart are always going to conflict on this one.
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  #13  
February 12th, 2012, 06:12 PM
ohnicole's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Missy, it's just a hard spot I wish it wasn't a decision you had to make. But congratulations on the potential job offer. That really is great news
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  #14  
February 13th, 2012, 08:07 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Child care is a very hard decision to make. We live in CA and it's not cheap, we had no choice, we have a mortgage and bills, I had to go back to work. Now, wit this one, we haven't talked about it, it will take my whole income to put both kids in daycare. Daycare here is very expensive as well. For DS we got a good deal, 10% off weekly rate and it's still $1000 a month.
It's very hard, this is the first time we put Alex in daycare, before he was at a friends house (she was charging us $800). It was hard for me to put him in daycare, but I do believe it does come to an age where they need to be with other kids.
The way it's easier for me, is that DH drops Alex off and I pick him up, it works best and I don't feel guilty leaving him in the morning.
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  #15  
February 13th, 2012, 08:14 AM
StaceygirlPa's Avatar Waiting for our Miracle.
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I wanted to say congrats on the job offer. I am so happy for you. I agree with the other ladies I think your head & heart are always going to conflict on this one. I very lucky. Right now we can afford for me stay home. This is what Dh wantes. He said from the beginning if we had a baby he didn't want me to work. Although I might go back to work in the fall only part time in the evenings where Dh can watch Cody. I don't feel right with Dh paying for everything. I have always had my own money. At least if I go back to work part time in the evenings it will be from September to March so I will be home during the summers and Dh can watch Cody so we aren't leaving him with anyone.
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  #16  
February 13th, 2012, 08:20 AM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
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I will be going back to work 6 weeks after the baby is born.. I only work 2 days a week but I make more an hour than DH and were pretty much poor (still in college!). So even though what I bring in is extremely small... It helps. I'm hoping my MIL will watch her one day and DH can work his schedule out and watch her the other day I work.

It's a personal decision, if I didn't HAVE to work.. I wouldn't. But sadly we live paycheck to paycheck so I do.
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  #17  
February 13th, 2012, 10:07 AM
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Missy, your head and heart will conflict always on this. It is a hard decision, especially if it's something that you want, but don't want, KWIM? I had to go back to work - daycare is expensive no matter where you live, because it typically goes by income around the area...sometimes higher than the average income can afford. We have DD in daycare and she LOVES it, she has loved it since she started at 8 weeks old. WE had to take her out when she was about 9 months old because DH got laid off, no sense in paying for it if he was already home. Right now, she is in it, even though he is out of work again, but she is learning things now(she is almost 3) - they do a preschool type curriculum (it's an in-home). We hate the thought of taking her out, because she really loves it, the baby on the other hand may stay home with DH if he still doesn't have a job. I just found out that I get more maternity leave than I would have at the other company, which is nice, but I still hate the thought of having to put both kids in daycare. I do, however, love my job and think I would go stir crazy at home after a few months if I had the option of being a SAHM (I totally take after my mother here).

I feel for you teachers too, I am scared, because DH is studying to be an elementary school teacher, however, we have pretty much made it with just my salary, living paycheck to paycheck, but we are making it work, so the "extra" income will be an added bonus. Sorry, that was a long sentence...lol! Delaware teachers had to take days off with no pay (MIL and BIL are teachers) and it isn't fair that someone who is teaching the future of our country, should be "jipped" like that! I wish that someone would stop this from happening...ugh!
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