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Decisions, decisions...


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
March 24th, 2012, 12:47 PM
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So I'm torn about how to proceed from here...

I'm determined to keep to my goal of doing all of this as naturally as possible. And I'm feeling very positive about the pregnancy so far (really hard, right? AF isn't even late yet!). But my midwife wants to know how we want to proceed and I'm trying to decide what I want to do.

With the last two pregnancies we had early ultrasounds and saw/heard heartbeats for both of them around 7 weeks. So an u/s heartbeat isn't going to be a huge reassurance to me. Hearing it on the doppler is gonna be my breath of relief. But then again both of those babies were measuring behind at those early u/s, so seeing an embryo that's on schedule would be a great relief. And I'll freak out if it isn't...

Right now I'm tempted to say that we won't have an u/s until 9 weeks... but that seems so far away! It would be May 2... but then we'd get to see the baby move too... I'm on progesterone suppositories and my symptoms are already kicking my butt, which sucks but feel great too!

I guess I'd love to hear anyone's advice on earlier vs. later u/s and dealing with the stress of PAL. I'm a pretty positive person and I deal with stress in general pretty well. I'm sure I'm going to have panic moments, but I'm really trying to trust my body(with the extra hormonal help) and not assume the worst...

Thoughts? TIA!
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  #2  
March 24th, 2012, 12:53 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Honestly? Even though I had 4 losses with 2 of them seeing heartbeats I had weekly ultrasounds between weeks 5 - 9. It helped calm my nerves some. Everyone is different and so go with what you feel is comfortable. If you don't want the interventions then get the ultrasound later on.
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  #3  
March 24th, 2012, 01:26 PM
fromustobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm with Missy...
The one we lost was at 9 weeks also, and I ended up having 4 U/Ss with this one between 6 and 9 weeks...because I was a M.E.S.S.!!
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  #4  
March 24th, 2012, 01:31 PM
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I choose to wait it out and did end up having an u/s at 10 weeks due to anxiety. But it really depends on you. I have seen it go both ways. Good luck.
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  #5  
March 24th, 2012, 01:39 PM
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Having an u/s can ease fears, but if you don't see what you are looking for it's even scarier... I am happy my OB is making me wait till 7 weeks, but I don't know if I could wait much longer.
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  #6  
March 24th, 2012, 02:26 PM
queenofthecastle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I've only had 1 u/s around 19 weeks and I SO wanted an u/s before that. I'm planning a home birth so my m/w doesn't have an u/s machine. We had to pay for all of our u/s's, so it didn't make sense to pay for a ton of them. I had a few issues with spotting/bleeding and those were the times when I wanted to have a u/s to ease my mind. IF it weren't for those issues, I may not have wanted them so bad.
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  #7  
March 24th, 2012, 02:55 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by outnumberedX3 View Post
I've only had 1 u/s around 19 weeks and I SO wanted an u/s before that. I'm planning a home birth so my m/w doesn't have an u/s machine. We had to pay for all of our u/s's, so it didn't make sense to pay for a ton of them. I had a few issues with spotting/bleeding and those were the times when I wanted to have a u/s to ease my mind. IF it weren't for those issues, I may not have wanted them so bad.
I'm kind of in the same boat... each u/s costs me about $700 because I have such a high deductible and I'm paying for the midwife out of pocket. I can go to the free clinic in the next town, and I might do that at some point for reassurance, but I don't want to take advantage. And they don't have a great machine so it's more of a see-movement-and-heartbeat type of scan.
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  #8  
March 24th, 2012, 06:53 PM
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For me I need that reassurance. Even though I'm still going to be stressed out because I had a later loss. I think it will help me get through the early months of pregnancy knowing my baby is okay. Only you can decide what is right for you. Maybe don't do it unless your feeling stressed and need it.
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  #9  
March 24th, 2012, 08:40 PM
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I am one that needs the reassurance...I don't like wondering. I am a need to know as much as possible type person.

I did forgo having a lot of betas done this time though. I had two done and that was enough to know that the baby was growing just fine. Then we had an u/s shortly after at 6 weeks.
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  #10  
March 25th, 2012, 09:40 AM
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I have weekly ultrasounds from week 6-13. But my insurance covered them.
I also had heartbeats with most of my losses.
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  #11  
March 25th, 2012, 10:09 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BeckyBozeman View Post
I'm kind of in the same boat... each u/s costs me about $700 because I have such a high deductible and I'm paying for the midwife out of pocket. I can go to the free clinic in the next town, and I might do that at some point for reassurance, but I don't want to take advantage. And they don't have a great machine so it's more of a see-movement-and-heartbeat type of scan.
Do not feel bad about going to a free clinic!! I went to one for most of my pregnancy with Scarlett and got excellent care. The wait times sucked but I was really grateful. At first I felt bad and guilty but like one of the doctors told me "You paid taxes all of your life and this is a part of what YOU paid for".
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #12  
March 25th, 2012, 11:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missy123 View Post
Do not feel bad about going to a free clinic!! I went to one for most of my pregnancy with Scarlett and got excellent care. The wait times sucked but I was really grateful. At first I felt bad and guilty but like one of the doctors told me "You paid taxes all of your life and this is a part of what YOU paid for".
That's a very good point... and I'm really grateful that I have that option! They're really wonderful there too... that was where we had the u/s that told us that our first baby had passed and they were incredibly compassionate and kind.

I think that I'm going to ask my midwife to call in for an u/s at the hospital at 9 weeks and hope that I don't get too freaked. But if I do I can always call the free clinic and go in for a "quickie" for reassurance. I think that if my symptoms stay nice and strong that will help me stay feeling calm about things. I'd really like to use the nice hospital scan when we can actually see some movement - which we haven't gotten to yet!

Thanks ladies! I love being able to hear different thoughts on things like this... it really helps me think things out!
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  #13  
March 25th, 2012, 06:00 PM
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Honestly, nothing except finally holding this baby in my ams is going to calm my fears. I had an u/s at 7 weeks. It was wonderful to see the flicker of a hb, but it hasn't totally relieved my fears. Even with Josiah, I was one of those who was constantly worrying about something going wrong, and that was BEFORE my two miscarriages!
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  #14  
March 26th, 2012, 08:00 AM
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I did not even know that you were pregnant. Congrats!!!

As for the pregnancy, I think you would drive yourself crazy waiting on the u/s. I would need one for reassurance (or maybe even multiple for reassurance). When I chose not to obsess over this pregnancy, I finally felt at peace with it. I mean I still had my crazy moments, but I tried harder to listen to the good things about it and not the bad.
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  #15  
March 26th, 2012, 09:19 AM
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I did three betas and felt like it almost stressed me out as much as they reassured me. I am also getting an ultrasound on Thursday at 6w4d to help reassure me and I'm stressed about that too. I honestly think I'm going to worry no matter what.

I guess just try it and if it gets to be too much go to the free clinic.
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  #16  
March 26th, 2012, 10:38 AM
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Personally, I needed the reassurance. However, having been in the high deductible spot, I can understand waiting to be sure. At the time I had met my deductible, so I was fine. Then I had to do my 11 week NT in early Jan. I'll just say OUCH! You have to do what you feel is reasonable, if that means waiting for certainty, so be it.
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  #17  
March 26th, 2012, 11:21 AM
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I waited until 7 weeks, even when I told them that I had spotting twice between, 5 and 7 weeks. I was glad I waited because I wouldn't be able to handle it if we did it earlier and did not see a h/b.
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  #18  
March 26th, 2012, 11:24 AM
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I really liked the reassurance too. I also had the option once I switched from the Re to the peri that I could call and go in for a 'anxiety' us whenever. I only did once.
Even now, although I hate having to go in every week, I like the reassurance that I get from seeing her every week.
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  #19  
March 26th, 2012, 12:30 PM
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I scheduled an u/s for around 8 weeks, but ended up going in earlier due to some light spotting, I got one at around 6 weeks and a few days and then another after my 8 week appt...it really helped! But, my loss right before this baby, we had also seen a heartbeat, so what really helped was investing in a doppler (although these can cause as much stress, if you aren't able to find the hb for one reason or another).

I would play it by ear if you are comfortable with that.
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  #20  
March 26th, 2012, 06:22 PM
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Thanks again ladies!! You guys are the best!

I think we're going to stick to the u/s at 9 weeks plan, with the free clinic on the bench in case something happens or I get too nervous. The more I think about it the more I feel like I wouldn't mind spending the money if I really thought it was going to reassure me... but I don't think that anything will until we get past our loss points and see movement. I'm feeling amazingly serene about all of it right now, like I just KNOW that this is going to be my rainbow baby!

Not to overshare, but the night before I ovulated, after we DTD, I cried and told DH that we'd just made a baby. I've never had that feeling before... my OB said that she still considers me a low risk pregnancy and I'm going to be happy and try to just enjoy this as long as I can!
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