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Hasty decisions


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  #1  
March 28th, 2012, 06:43 AM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
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Am wondering if it is a bad idea to get an IUD. This loss hurts a lot right now. But in a few months I may be willing to try again. I wish I could know that my next pregnancy would be perfect. I want more natural children, I really do.

This loss has been the hardest on me. We saw a HB and everything. I have had losses before even after seeing a HB. But now that I have Peter, it hurts more when I lose a baby. Because I can see exactly the wonderful child the loss could've been.

Peter is so amazing, and dang cute. I can't help buy want more babies like him. But it hurts to keep having losses.

Sorry to ramble, I am trying to figure this out. I am not sure if I am truly ready to give up, or if it the hormones talking.

If I had not given TTC one last try last time, I wouldn't have Peter. What if there is another wonderful child waiting for me?

Of you read all this, thank you. . I have to go get ready for my D&C now.
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  #2  
March 28th, 2012, 07:14 AM
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It's a tough decision. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. Just give it some thought ... only you know what decision is right for your family.

But you are right ... Peter is pretty dang cute! Give him some extra snuggles today!
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  #3  
March 28th, 2012, 07:28 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It hurts me that you are going through this. I know that you are hurt because of the loss, and maybe getting an IUD it's a decision that you made because you are hurt. You have a beautiful child, what makes you think that you won't have another one just like him? It's a hard decision, but if don't get an IUD then you can still have the possibility of trying. You can always do it months down the road, you don't have to do it. This time is a very difficult time for you and your dh, so don't rush to do it. Give it some time, and then think about it again. I'm thinking about you.
~Tanya~ and Belita like this.
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  #4  
March 28th, 2012, 07:37 AM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think the others said it well. I'm just going to offer more hugs and support.
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  #5  
March 28th, 2012, 08:15 AM
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I want to offer you hugs first! Then, I want to say, it could be a decision that you are making because you are so hurt right now, and rightfully so. However, an IUD can be put in easily down the road, after giving yourself some time to grieve, or taken out easily if you realize it really isn't what you want. That being said, either decision you make can be easily reversed, so don't feel sad or bad either way!

HUGS!!!!
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  #6  
March 28th, 2012, 08:32 AM
doremi's Avatar Team Blue Mama of Two
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I agree. Whatever decision you make today, can always be reversed later. If it were me, I would probably wait to put in the IUD until I was absolutely sure, but you need to do what feels right for you. Praying for you today!
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  #7  
March 28th, 2012, 09:08 AM
JessP's Avatar Lovin life and family
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I am so sorry you are having to even think about this and make this kind of decision instead of celebrating your child to be. I wish that there was a magic ball to tell us that all would be well. Perhaps a break is what you need to help you decide without making it permenante. I know that after Kaitlynn was born, even though I love children and wanted more, I couldn't go through another pregnancy. Both emotionally or physically. It really is a personal decision. BIG HUGS momma and we are always here to listen and chat.
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  #8  
March 28th, 2012, 10:13 AM
.:Shortcake:.'s Avatar ♬♪Music Soothes my Soul♪♬
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It breaks my heart that you have to make this decision at all. I agree with the other ladies though. I would give it some time and see how you feel in a few months. The pain of your loss is so fresh that it's hard to look past that at the moment. No matter what you decide I hope you can find peace with your decision and know we are here for you!
~Tanya~ likes this.
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  #9  
March 28th, 2012, 10:28 AM
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The other ladies have said it beautifully... I would give it some time before making a final decision...

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  #10  
March 28th, 2012, 01:20 PM
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You've already heard what I'd say... so I'll just offer hugs and prayers for you and your family.
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  #11  
March 28th, 2012, 01:44 PM
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I decided to get it. I think I will go through with fostering to adopt, because I have always wanted to do it. I also want to take a pregnancy free break to resolve and get a diagnoses for my severe digestive issues....

I will try again, but I will wait at least a year, maybe more...
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  #12  
March 28th, 2012, 01:54 PM
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Yes, take some time to heal emotionally before making a decision.
HUGS!
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  #13  
March 28th, 2012, 03:38 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
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I think emotionally, your decision is strong. A IUD is completely reversible if you change your mind. But it will eliminate the questions, having to be careful and track things to avoid pregnancy. It will allow you to heal both physically and emotionally. It will make you really think about when you want to try again. Because you have to act to try again (get it taken out). And it also gives you time to see if fostering is where your heart really is. You might fall in love with it and decide that is where you are most needed. Naturally making a permanent decision at this point would be a bad idea. But this is a completely temporary thing and you can reevaluate when you feel stronger and and discuss the options with your DH and follow your truer heart. Not the shattered one you have now.
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  #14  
March 28th, 2012, 03:51 PM
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That was the main reason I wanted it. I want to not have to worry about possibly being pregnant, and taking prometrium on time. I just need a break. I don't know how long it will be, but as you said, an IUD IS reversible....
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  #15  
March 28th, 2012, 06:43 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Just want to give you hugs. I am so sorry you are going through all of this Erica.
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  #16  
March 28th, 2012, 06:55 PM
queenofthecastle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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HUGS!! It seems like your at ease with your decision and thats the most important thing.
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  #17  
March 29th, 2012, 04:57 AM
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  #18  
March 29th, 2012, 06:33 AM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry that you're going through this, Erica. Huge
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  #19  
March 29th, 2012, 06:39 AM
StaceygirlPa's Avatar Waiting for our Miracle.
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I am so sorry you are going through this again. Sending you lots of hugs.
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  #20  
March 29th, 2012, 06:55 AM
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