[lindsey2000k]

OMFG what is wrong with my husband?????

The baby room is still not pained and he was going to do it this weekend while I went to my parents. I come back and he was outside all weekend and painted DD's play house.

Then tonight he comes home from work and annouces that he planned a 4 wheeler trip 3 hours away, for 2 nights with no cell service April 21-22. My inlaws who live 3 minutes away are on vacation April 20th-28th. My parents live 2 hours away.

For one I am so tired these days dealing with Madison and the puppy alone all day just wear me out and when he comes home at 5 every night I just want to give up and lay on the couch. I love my daughter but she has been really pushing my buttons these days and will only listen to him.



UPDATE
Well because of the new money situation with the insurance DH can not longer go on this 4 wheeler ride...HAHAHA I pretty much told him no the day before we found out about insurance but its a good reason. I wish we could sell the stupid 4 wheeler but its not his. His dad bought it last summer for hunting and pretty much gave it to DH on the condition he can use it for hunting when he needs it. So if it did get sold the money would be his dads not ours Even though DH pays the oil changes and when it breaks.

[Pitridge]

I understand where you are coming from, dh sometimes is the same way. I am not with DS at home all day, but when I get home from and I'm tired and DS is acting up and won't listen to me, it's very frustrating. DS will listen to DH more than he will to me.
I'm sorry about Dh not having too much common sense. Did he tell you why he booked that trip without saying anything to you? You are due in a month! Which it doesn't mean that the baby will come on your EDD, it could come earlier or later. What reason did he give you?
I hope that he paints the baby room soon, sorry that he decided that this weekend was not the weekend to do it. Sometime men don't think.

[Jessghetti]

You should try to address your concerns and make him realize he has to do certain things for you since you are pregnant.

It sounds like you need more help then just your DH around - is there any friends or relatives that can come help babysit or paint?

[Belita]

I'd be mad, too. It's so close to your due date.

[~Tanya~]

I'm so sorry your DH is being insensitive...

[LindseyE117]

I'd put my foot down and let him have it. It is not fair to you, and it is not smart of him to leave you alone while so far in your pregnancy with your daughter. He needs to understand that anything can happen even though you are only 36 weeks. He also needs to know that if you do go into labor while he is gone and you actually have the baby that he will miss the birth of his son. I'm pissed for you. Don't let him get away with it. You are a lot stronger than me, because I would have gone absolutely crazy already about it and made my extreme anger known. Please KUP on what happens with this.

[Leanne78]

I'm with Lindsey. I would have gone Cujo on his butt! Men can be so ignorant.

[*SamF*]

I'd have gone off on him too. (actually still would)

Do you have any energy left? I ended up being the one that painted the baby's room both times- but bought the no VOC's paint (it does tend to be a little more expensive). But DH is such a procrastinator and a sloppy painter. (to be fair though DS's room he couldn't have done because I painted the mural- but he could have helped more with the base coats of paint)

[Belita]

I agree with Leanne and Lindsey. If my husband had the balls to schedule a trip for himself that close to my due date you can bet I would be making him cancel it.

[lindsey2000k]

Last night I did not speak to him and he kept asking what was wrong and I said nothing, not to worry about it, im to tired to fight.
I finally said something about it and I think he is not going to go now. I said to him its not as much the issue of me going into labor as being alone that long with a 4yr old and a 5 month old puppy. His comment was "I cant help that you can not control your kid" UGH really? I am with her 24/7 and she knows how to push my buttons and I am so tired by the afternoon I just cant do it any longer and need him to step in when he gets home.

I also explaned to him its not really 2 days its more like 4... Thursday night he will come home and be in the garage packing all night and running to get trailers and stuff, Friday they take all there stuff to work and leave right from work, then they dont get home until late Sunday... So really I would be on my own Thursday, Friday, Saturday & Sunday.
I called my mom and she was pissed and offered to come stay with me or take Madison for the weekend but I did not want to do that because she gets to worn out from work she really needs her weekends to recover. Also once baby comes she was going to come that night & then a couple nights after John goes back to work. So I really do not want to wear out my mom before the baby even comes.

I told him its not that I don't want him to go riding but why cant they find some place closer and leave early in the morning and come home that night? Its because they can go down to his friends family farm and shoot guns and have a drunk fest all weekend.

He was like this years ago and I thought he out grew it. Not sure if another baby coming is freaking him out or what.

[lindsey2000k]

Originally Posted by *SamF*

I'd have gone off on him too. (actually still would)

Do you have any energy left? I ended up being the one that painted the baby's room both times- but bought the no VOC's paint (it does tend to be a little more expensive). But DH is such a procrastinator and a sloppy painter. (to be fair though DS's room he couldn't have done because I painted the mural- but he could have helped more with the base coats of paint)

Well its not the whole room that needs done its just the top half of the wall to cover up where DD's name was over the crib. and I am a HORRIBLE painter. I pained the steps and hallway when pregnant with DD and it looks so horrible and I made a huge mess...lol We have new carpet now (well almost 3 years old but newer than the 25 yr old crap that was here) and I would rather he make the mess on it and not me.


I have not said a word in weeks about the room needing painted because I wanted to wait and see how long it really takes. The baby is going to be in our room at least until 6-9 months old but I just want the room DONE. But I will be keeping clothing and things in there. I have the glidder in his room so I am sure some days I will go in there to get away from every one to rock him.

[luvmykids623]

I'm so sorry he's being like that. I would be livid and make his life so miserable.

[Pitridge]

Originally Posted by lindsey2000k

. His comment was "I cant help that you can not control your kid" UGH really? I

I hope you slap him for that comment. He needs to be more sensitive, you are at home with your daughter all day, it's hard and he should understand that you need a break when he gets home, not to mentioned that you are pg and hormones are all over the place.
I'm sorry..sometimes men are jerks.

[humnck]

Men don't get what it is like to be home with the children, they think, well, I have been at work all day, I need a break too. DH got a first hand glimpse of what it's like, because he was laid off for a while and we pulled DD out of daycare to save money. Sometimes they need that first hand glimpse to see what it's like to "control" our children all day. I haven't really done it, because I am at work all day, but I can appreciate it because I work all day and go home and deal with DD, the difference is, he takes full responsibility for the dog.

As for the painting, had it not been for my stepfather saying, hey, so that you can get that done faster, why don't we do it this weekend, DD's room wouldn't be painted yet, my DH is the exact same way - procrastinator! I was so mad at him last night when I realized he is not working and granted he had DD, but I had specifically asked if he could throw a couple of loads of laundry in, because we were away all weekend and I don't haev many maternity pants to begin with and he hadn't done it...guess what he started to do this morning, although I was a little passive aggressive when it came down to it. I mumbled under my breath (within earshot of him), guess I should have done laundry tonight...I am the same way, I am too tired to fight sometimes.

Anyways, I hope he really doesn't go, that is crazy!

What is wrong with men sometimes...argh!

[.:Shortcake:.]

[lindsey2000k]

Originally Posted by humnck

Men don't get what it is like to be home with the children, they think, well, I have been at work all day, I need a break too. DH got a first hand glimpse of what it's like, because he was laid off for a while and we pulled DD out of daycare to save money. Sometimes they need that first hand glimpse to see what it's like to "control" our children all day. I haven't really done it, because I am at work all day, but I can appreciate it because I work all day and go home and deal with DD, the difference is, he takes full responsibility for the dog.



What is wrong with men sometimes...argh!

Well the dog was supposed to be all him but at night when she needs to eat or go out to go potty he will just sit his ***** on the couch while I make all these noises to get off the couch to let her out and back in. If I don't get up he will sit there and act like he doesn't hear her crying and pawing at the door. The dog had really bad runny poo Feb & March and DH could not pick up the poo because it made him gag... so Me being pregnant had to go out and pick up the poo and water down the grass because it was hard to pick up. The one thing he promised was he would do poo pick up. The last 2 weeks he has finally started because i refused and now her poo is solid finally. Typically I will refuse to do something and he wont do it so I just give in and do it, and the poo issue the dog was stepping in it and I was having to clean carpet and couches if I did not notice she stepped in it so it was easier to just pick it up outside.

He will make comments that I am home all day and have all this time on my hands to get so much done... but when he is home all day with DD while I work i come home to dishes in the sink, her toys all over the house & then the next morning when I wake her up she is still in the clothing I had her in the day before he just waits for her to crash and put her in bed.
I was in florida a month after we got this puppy and he took the week off to stay with the dog. The whole time I was gone I would get 3-4 calls a day about how hard it was with this puppy to get anything done and he can not even leave the room. I said ok now add Madison to that.... I really think the issue was it was hard to peal his behind from the couch. Because I seem to have no problems sticking the dog in her cage for a couple hours while I do things with Madison/clean/ shower etc.
Days when he is off work he will make comments about how he doesn't know how I do it and he would rather be at work all day. But then he acts like I should have no issues with it if he can not even handle it.
I feel some days that parents that go to work everyday have it easier than the ones that stay at home. Not that i dont like being home with my kid every day but its hard when all you have to talk to is a 4 yr old. Its more of a mental thing than a physical thing.

He will tell me to take it easy but when it comes me taking it easy meaning more work for him then he never sees anything wrong with it. I am just so beyond upset with him and its for more than just one thing that has piled up.

[kaylakay]

My DH does stuff like this all the time... It's so annoying and we don't even have another kid or a puppy! So I feel super bad for you

I just wanted to offer hugs... Everyone has already said what I would say... Parenting really should be a 50/50 effort.

[Jessghetti]

Originally Posted by lindsey2000k

Well the dog was supposed to be all him but at night when she needs to eat or go out to go potty he will just sit his ***** on the couch while I make all these noises to get off the couch to let her out and back in. If I don't get up he will sit there and act like he doesn't hear her crying and pawing at the door. The dog had really bad runny poo Feb & March and DH could not pick up the poo because it made him gag... so Me being pregnant had to go out and pick up the poo and water down the grass because it was hard to pick up. The one thing he promised was he would do poo pick up. The last 2 weeks he has finally started because i refused and now her poo is solid finally. Typically I will refuse to do something and he wont do it so I just give in and do it, and the poo issue the dog was stepping in it and I was having to clean carpet and couches if I did not notice she stepped in it so it was easier to just pick it up outside.

He will make comments that I am home all day and have all this time on my hands to get so much done... but when he is home all day with DD while I work i come home to dishes in the sink, her toys all over the house & then the next morning when I wake her up she is still in the clothing I had her in the day before he just waits for her to crash and put her in bed.
I was in florida a month after we got this puppy and he took the week off to stay with the dog. The whole time I was gone I would get 3-4 calls a day about how hard it was with this puppy to get anything done and he can not even leave the room. I said ok now add Madison to that.... I really think the issue was it was hard to peal his behind from the couch. Because I seem to have no problems sticking the dog in her cage for a couple hours while I do things with Madison/clean/ shower etc.
Days when he is off work he will make comments about how he doesn't know how I do it and he would rather be at work all day. But then he acts like I should have no issues with it if he can not even handle it.
I feel some days that parents that go to work everyday have it easier than the ones that stay at home. Not that i dont like being home with my kid every day but its hard when all you have to talk to is a 4 yr old. Its more of a mental thing than a physical thing.

He will tell me to take it easy but when it comes me taking it easy meaning more work for him then he never sees anything wrong with it. I am just so beyond upset with him and its for more than just one thing that has piled up.

I can understand him being more weary about taking care of a young child - but a puppy? I know puppies can be like little kids but they are not as hard to take care of as a 4 year old!

It seems like he doesn't want to do anymore then he has to and is either being lazy or irresponsible, I understand how you can get tired at work - but there are millions of other people who do work at the home even when they get off of work.

I'm really sorry to hear how insensitive and lazy he is being, I am not sure it is a good idea for you to be cleaning up animal feces. I refuse to do it and my husband will pick up after the dog along with cleaning out the cat's litter. I think your DH should do the same - just incase.

[Pitridge]

I have done both, stay at home mom and working mom and by far it's much easier to be a working mom. Being with a kid all day it's hard and Madison at least is older than DS was when I stayed home, which by no means, it means its easier. DH promise he would pick up the dog poop in the yard, it's been months, on Saturday I had to go and do it and because of it, I hurt my back really bad and couldn't move.
Your DH needs to start sharing responsibilities, Madison, the puppy and the baby is as much his responsibilities as yours and he needs to pitch in. Be clear, I had this conversation with DH, he's always very quick about leaving with DS, so that he can go and lay in bed and watch tv. He also plays the, I didn't hear him, put your foot down, you will need help when the baby comes and he better be prepare to actually help.

[silverlife]

I don't have anything useful to say, but I'm sorry he's being so dense about everything.