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Baby's Health - What Would You Do?


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 1 Post By l1i2v3

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  #1  
May 5th, 2012, 03:13 PM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
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I think most mothers go into pregnancy willing to do anything for their unborn baby.
But what do you ladies think of those who refuse to give up bad habits when pregnant? I know having an addiction isn't something easy to quit - but people do it.

Have any of you ever known anyone who still continued bad habits while pregnant or even after? I have known so many relatives who continued to smoke during pregnancy and even breastfeed and smoke too - I wonder what is the point of that? The baby will continue to be addicted to nicotine until they quit breastfeeding.
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  #2  
May 5th, 2012, 03:52 PM
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My mother smoked the whole pregnancy with me. I have been very sickly since being born. In fact, I had lung issues the first 5 years of my life. I still do, but I have grown out of most of it. She knew smoking was wrong, but she didn't want to quit.

My ex SIL smoked her entire pregnancy also. Her LO was born at 41w and weighed 4lb15oz. She refused to BF though because she thought it was disgusting and that her boobs were only for her SO.

I went all out when finding out I was pregnant this time around because I was so terrified of another loss. No caffiene, no chocolate, no sex, no over the counter meds (not even approved-except for baby aspirin), no heavy lifting, no over doing it, etc.. I will admit I am bad now though because I have the occassional soda, and I caved when my blood sugar dropped this morning and got a soft serve (which I know we are not supposed to have). I also have ate lunch meat because that is what they gave me in L&D here at our hospital. I think that is the farthest I have done anything bad this pregnancy. I couldn't imagine doing anything else.
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  #3  
May 5th, 2012, 06:14 PM
queenofthecastle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My step MIL smoked during both of her pregnancies then quit the day that her second was born when he ended up in the NICU for breathing issues. I've never understood her logic........
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  #4  
May 5th, 2012, 06:31 PM
luvmykids623's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My mom smoked through her entire pregnancy with all 3 of us. She nearly had a placental abruption with me. I was born at 36 weeks at 4lbs 6oz. To keep it in perspective Greyson was born at 4lbs 6oz at 33w6d. If they hadn't delivered me that day I would have been stillborn. My sister was born at 28 weeks due to placental abruption, and my brother was born at 29 weeks due to placental abruption. She doesn't even begin to think that the smoking may have caused all the issues that she had. She keeps saying they never figured it out. Ummmm..... yeah.
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  #5  
May 6th, 2012, 08:51 AM
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It depends what you consider by bad habits.

For smoking and things like that, I do not smoke but if I did I would absolutely quit in a heartbeat the second I found out I was pregnant, or if it was going to be a planned baby I would quit before we started TTC. And this is coming from someone who unfortunately used to smoke and I did quit, so I do know what is involved.

However for other "bad" things such as eating hot dogs, having the occasional Coke, etc. I don't blame women for doing that. I did that. I honestly don't think that those things are terrible.
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  #6  
May 6th, 2012, 12:07 PM
Jessghetti's Avatar New Mommy in Training
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Quote:
Originally Posted by l1i2v3 View Post
It depends what you consider by bad habits.

For smoking and things like that, I do not smoke but if I did I would absolutely quit in a heartbeat the second I found out I was pregnant, or if it was going to be a planned baby I would quit before we started TTC. And this is coming from someone who unfortunately used to smoke and I did quit, so I do know what is involved.

However for other "bad" things such as eating hot dogs, having the occasional Coke, etc. I don't blame women for doing that. I did that. I honestly don't think that those things are terrible.
I was meaning things like substance abuse problems - smoking (besides maybe drinking caffeine ) is the most common substance women use during pregnancy, but I have known women to drink during pregnancies and do much harder drugs.

But I suppose there are many other 'bad things' you could do during pregnancy, like heavy lifting, exposure to certain chemicals, horse-back riding and other things that could pose a risk to the unborn baby.

I've resisted having a hotdog for the duration of my pregnancy but did have lunch-meat a few times and it took about 2 months to get off of caffeine entirely. I think with the worry about loosing the baby make me extra cautious.
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  #7  
May 7th, 2012, 10:06 AM
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I smoked cigarettes throughout all 3 of my boys pregancies. Never cut back or anything. Back 20 years ago there were warnings out there but not the awareness like today. We ate lunchmeat and everything else. I remember being told not to drink caffeine but that was about it. I quit smoking about 4 months before I got pregnant with Scarlett.

The other day I saw 2 women walk out of a methadone clinic that were very pregnant... it broke my heart. While we end up with the instinct to protect our unborn I can only imagine what must go through these poor women's heads. It was so hard for me to quit smoking, I can't even fathom what guilt a woman feels that is pregnant and addicted to drugs at the same time. So many of them have lived lives that makes my brain hurt. It is sad.
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  #8  
May 7th, 2012, 10:11 AM
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I worked as a volunteer in a NICU a while back helping with the drug addicted babies. It pissed me off to no end that babies born addicted to drugs were allowed to go home with their moms, who did that to them!
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  #9  
May 7th, 2012, 12:42 PM
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I had a friend that smoke some marijuana when pg with her first daughter, I don't know if she did it with her second one. My Stepmother smoked throughout her pgs. I quit smoking years before I even started to think about having kids. I knew I wanted kids and I knew I wanted to be smoke-free for 1-2 years before getting pg, it's been 10 years.
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  #10  
May 7th, 2012, 03:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitridge View Post
I had a friend that smoke some marijuana when pg with her first daughter, I don't know if she did it with her second one. My Stepmother smoked throughout her pgs. I quit smoking years before I even started to think about having kids. I knew I wanted kids and I knew I wanted to be smoke-free for 1-2 years before getting pg, it's been 10 years.
Do you still want to smoke? It has been about 1.5 years for me and I still get cravings here and there.
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  #11  
May 7th, 2012, 03:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by missy123 View Post
Do you still want to smoke? It has been about 1.5 years for me and I still get cravings here and there.
Missy, not at all, now I find it disgusting and can't stand the smell. I was not a heavy smoker, I had maybe 3 a day on weekends more. I remembered we were in TTCAL when you quit, it seems like it was yesterday.
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  #12  
May 7th, 2012, 03:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitridge View Post
Missy, not at all, now I find it disgusting and can't stand the smell. I was not a heavy smoker, I had maybe 3 a day on weekends more. I remembered we were in TTCAL when you quit, it seems like it was yesterday.
I think it depends how much you smoked and for how long.
Though my maternal grandmother smoked for 50 years, had to have triple bypass heart surgery and quit cold turkey. She can't stand cigarettes now.

To Missy - I hope you don't give into those cravings, so many people I know have quit and randomly got around someone who was smoking, - wanted one puff and started up all over again.
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  #13  
May 7th, 2012, 04:06 PM
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I quit smoking after my first miscarriage...a lot of my friends smoke while pregnant.

Missy- I quit 5.5 years ago and still crave them.
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  #14  
May 7th, 2012, 05:07 PM
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I think that a lot of people are in denial that it can't happen to them. But in reality as we have all seen, you can do things perfectly and you can still have a loss But no I would never do anything that could harm my unborn baby.
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  #15  
May 7th, 2012, 06:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by .:Shortcake:. View Post
I think that a lot of people are in denial that it can't happen to them. But in reality as we have all seen, you can do things perfectly and you can still have a loss But no I would never do anything that could harm my unborn baby.
Unfortunately this is very often the case. It really does upset me when I see some couples trying so hard to have a baby and have problems with fertility - while other people can do all sorts of harmful things to their unborn baby and still give birth in the end.

Life can be unfair like that sometimes. I do hope you are able to get your rainbow baby soon though Shortcake.
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  #16  
May 8th, 2012, 05:56 AM
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I worked for several years at a counseling center that catered exclusively to pregnant addicts. We saw every kind of addiction (well, not cigarettes...that wasn't considered a qualification for entry). The worst was alcohol. The babies born to alcoholic mothers fared the worst out of all the illegal drugs we saw. They were the most commonly affected right from birth. Their withdraw was terrible and often not managed medically, since it is one that is hard to pinpoint (urine tests on baby and mother would not reveal alcohol and unless one breathalyzed upon entry, the alcohol would be gone by the time it was suspected). Those ones killed me. And this was even before I was ever pregnant or had a loss. Many of the harder drugs were not overtly damaging...we did not see a lot of seriously affected babies (the babies came to the clinic too). We knew the children would have problems later on. But the huge physical aspects one might expect were not common (excluding alcohol).

But one thing I did learn while working there is that an unborn baby is actually better off being exposed to marijuana than cigarettes. Based on the chemical make-up and the addiction pattern...we preferred pot smokers to cigarette smokers any day of the week. Also, methadone babies were preferable to other addictions because it was a controlled addiction and one that the babies were helped with after birth (for 4-6 weeks in the hospital).

But I learned not to blame the mothers for their addiction. It was not something they were willingly doing to their babies. No more than you or I willingly harm our children. Addictions are something out of the control of the addict. The best we could do is educate them and help them come off the drugs safely. As long as they were working a program, they were allowed to keep their babies. But if they left the program, their babies were taken from them. All of our clients were being followed by social services and had things to do to ensure their babies were safe.

Of course it makes me sad that the babies were suffering at the hand of their own parent. But addictions are really complex and even today I can't say I begrudge them for having them. Of course, it isn't fair that they get baby after baby (the most we had was a mom with 11 kids) and healthy, wishful people don't get babies they have been trying for for decades. But life is like that...pretty suckily unfair.

So yeah, I have known addicts in pregnancy. And even though it is sad for them, I am not really in a place to judge. I had an addiction at one point (for 6 years) and I cant say with entire certainty that I could have just stopped if I had become pregnant during that time. I like to think I could have, but I don't know how successful I would have been.
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  #17  
May 8th, 2012, 07:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ashj_1218 View Post
I worked for several years at a counseling center that catered exclusively to pregnant addicts. We saw every kind of addiction (well, not cigarettes...that wasn't considered a qualification for entry). The worst was alcohol. The babies born to alcoholic mothers fared the worst out of all the illegal drugs we saw. They were the most commonly affected right from birth. Their withdraw was terrible and often not managed medically, since it is one that is hard to pinpoint (urine tests on baby and mother would not reveal alcohol and unless one breathalyzed upon entry, the alcohol would be gone by the time it was suspected). Those ones killed me. And this was even before I was ever pregnant or had a loss. Many of the harder drugs were not overtly damaging...we did not see a lot of seriously affected babies (the babies came to the clinic too). We knew the children would have problems later on. But the huge physical aspects one might expect were not common (excluding alcohol).

But one thing I did learn while working there is that an unborn baby is actually better off being exposed to marijuana than cigarettes. Based on the chemical make-up and the addiction pattern...we preferred pot smokers to cigarette smokers any day of the week. Also, methadone babies were preferable to other addictions because it was a controlled addiction and one that the babies were helped with after birth (for 4-6 weeks in the hospital).

But I learned not to blame the mothers for their addiction. It was not something they were willingly doing to their babies. No more than you or I willingly harm our children. Addictions are something out of the control of the addict. The best we could do is educate them and help them come off the drugs safely. As long as they were working a program, they were allowed to keep their babies. But if they left the program, their babies were taken from them. All of our clients were being followed by social services and had things to do to ensure their babies were safe.

Of course it makes me sad that the babies were suffering at the hand of their own parent. But addictions are really complex and even today I can't say I begrudge them for having them. Of course, it isn't fair that they get baby after baby (the most we had was a mom with 11 kids) and healthy, wishful people don't get babies they have been trying for for decades. But life is like that...pretty suckily unfair.

So yeah, I have known addicts in pregnancy. And even though it is sad for them, I am not really in a place to judge. I had an addiction at one point (for 6 years) and I cant say with entire certainty that I could have just stopped if I had become pregnant during that time. I like to think I could have, but I don't know how successful I would have been.

Thank you for sharing your story.
As far as addiction goes, it is at least a choice to begin using substances and it is a choice to ultimately quit. That I will dispute, but the actual process of being an addict and getting to the point where you can quit is very difficult. I do applaud people who are capable of becoming sober, I know it isn't an easy task.

It is unfortunate for some people who are never able to quit and are long-time addicts, I know studies have shown the longer you are addicted the harder it becomes to quit.


I think a big tragedy in it all is after the child is born to addicts and what kind of care they may or may not receive, the severity of neglect and abuse I have seen is really outrageously disturbing.
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