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Lingering fear


Forum: Pregnancy and Motherhood After Loss

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  • 2 Post By Shadeauxe
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  #1  
May 24th, 2012, 08:08 AM
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As I had posted in the weekly pregnancy update, I'm working on a newborn outfit for my coming baby daughter. As I work on it, I'm mostly excited about meeting my baby in less than two months. But sometimes I think things like, "If my baby dies, would I use this as her burial outfit?" and other morbid thoughts like that.

Is that just part of PAL? That even though everything has been smooth this pregnancy, and everything looks good for me and baby, I still have fear about my baby dying. I still have thoughts that things can't possibly go right.
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  #2  
May 24th, 2012, 08:12 AM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm not as far along as you, but now that I'm out of the first trimester and getting closer to the mark where it'd be considered a stillbirth I'm getting afraid of that. I'm also terrified of SIDS.
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  #3  
May 24th, 2012, 08:17 AM
kaylakay's Avatar Love Being A Mommy
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I have had morbid thoughts as well very similar to that... I have like daydreamed about what I would tell people if my baby died, how I would react etc. I pretty much play a scenario in my head. After I want to slap myself but I really can't help it. I think it's normal... I just thinks its sad how we think like that. People go through pregnancy without a care in the world and how we go through with fear and all these thoughts. I'm sorry. Best advice I have is one day at a time. Everyday is a mini milestone... If she is active and her normal self I'm like "Hmmm okay she's okay today. No need to worry" and I do that everyday where things are normal. I think that's all we really can do. Big hugs.
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  #4  
May 24th, 2012, 08:55 AM
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I think it is normal. I know that after a loss you know what can happen and I really think it's a defense mechanism. I feel it's your minds way of trying to hope for the best but prepare for the worst kind of thing.
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  #5  
May 24th, 2012, 09:07 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have those same thoughts and it freaks me out that I would even be thinking about it. I think that the fear of losing the baby does not go away, no matter how far in pg you are. I know it's hard but as soon as you get that thought, think of something positive, like first time you hold the baby, labor (not sure if that's positive or not).
Another of my biggest fears is my 3 year old holding the baby and shaking it, or shaking it in the pack n' play or something like that.
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  #6  
May 24th, 2012, 09:16 AM
Shadeauxe's Avatar It's me
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I initially thought this thread was entitled, "lingerie fear". But it's not. Pity.
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  #7  
May 24th, 2012, 09:21 AM
Pitridge's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadeauxe View Post
I initially thought this thread was entitled, "lingerie fear". But it's not. Pity.
I thought the same thing at first, I had to read it a couple of times.
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  #8  
May 24th, 2012, 11:39 AM
1InSummerland's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Even though I'm past my point of loss, I'm still a little worried deep down inside. I get super excited (probably more than is normal) every time I feel even the slightest flutter of movement. The other night, after DH went to bed, the baby was kicking up a storm (the most I have ever felt at once so far and the strongest) and I wanted to wake DH up so he could feel because I was so afraid that it wouldn't happen again - that we'll lose the baby and DH will never get to see or feel the baby moving.

I think Kayla put it best - you have to take it one day at a time and celebrate every day as a milestone.
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  #9  
May 24th, 2012, 01:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shadeauxe View Post
I initially thought this thread was entitled, "lingerie fear". But it's not. Pity.
Well, I have that, too, but that's more related to the fact that my belly will start to have its own gravitational field soon.
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